My job is all about touch, be it a therapeutic massage to relieve sore muscles or a relaxing Swedish massage to calm a person’s nerves or an erotic massage to bring them to the heights of ecstacy, it is all about my touch.
While I do have a fair amount of training on different techniques, most people in this field will admit that there is a gift of touch that you either have or you don’t. Many of the graduates of the best massage schools can pass their exams with flying colors and get certified anywhere in the country, but that does not mean that they have the gift. Likewise, many people can instinctively start massaging another person with amazing results, having never taken a class in their life.
When I am giving a massage, I spend a lot of my energy focusing on what I see, hear and feel as I work. My hands are feeling for knots and tight muscles while my eyes are watching for non-verbal responses from the body and my ears are listening for slightest moan or gasp as I try to figure what the body on the table needs most from me. That is why I sometimes really like to remain clothed for at least part of the massage so I can fucus on the therapeutic aspects of a massage. Even in the most erotic massages, I still focus on relieving stress and sore muscles, with my focus there, odds are I will not have an erection if the client starts feeling around for one. My fear of course is that they will think that they are not attractive enough to arouse me, when in truth, my mind is just too far from my body and too focused on theirs.
With my several years of experience, I have often been told that I have given many men the best orgasms of their lives. All of this is just with the use of my hands. Oh sure several men will only cum when they have a hand on my dick, but it is still my hands that are doing all the work.
I start every massage from a very "legit" point of view. I want to soothe and relax the body. Once the sore muscles have been soothed and the stress knots released and a general feeling of relaxation has been established, then the erotic part of the massage is much more effective. One of the keys to a good massage is to take your time, another reason for me stay clothed. You see, if I get aroused early in the massage I can get swept up in the erotic energy and start rushing to get to the orgasm. This short changes the client from getting the most out of the massage and leaves me trying to "fill" time at the end (this rarely happens). In a 90 minute massage, the client will often spend the first 30 minutes receiving just a back massage. The next 25 minutes or so are spent on spent on the feet, legs and buttocks. The next 5 minutes or so are spent on the erogenous zones around anal area, scrotum and penis if it is sticking out between their legs, then I ask them to turn over, so they have spent the first hour lying on their stomach with very little "erotic" touch.
Once they have turned over I spend 5 on the chest, 5 on the abs, then I usually focus on the cock, balls, anus and nips until they orgasm. The rest of the time is divided up on stretches, massaging legs, arms, face and the back of the neck. A full body massage from head to toe is the object. Given my preference, I would not undress until I was ready to start the erotic work while they are still on their stomach. The rest of the time my focus should be on the client’s muscles and stress relief and not worrying about whether I have a hard on or not. Not that I complaining about doing all nude massage as long as the client is cool with my erection coming and going.
Anyway, back to touch. Most clients are amazed that I can make them feel so good using only my hands, whether it is relieving their stress or rubbing their dick or massaging their prostate. Natural gifts have a lot to do with it, but so does taking my time. I know that a lot of my readers have partners or either or both sexes, I wonder how many have tried to make love to another with just their hands. I am not talking about a 90 second hand job, but exploring every inch of your partner with just your hands. Finding out how they are put together and what makes them feel good. Really taking the time to rub and caress every inch of your partner with nothing but your hands can be an awesome experience. You may find that this is easiest if you remain clothed, don’t let yourself get too caught up in the erotic energy that it causes you to rush. Set a timer somewhere in the room and start with just exploring your partner’s backside for at least 30 minutes, and I am talking every inch. I am not talking about trying to give a therapeutic massage, but just lovingly caressing every inch of your partner. You will probably want to use a moisturizing cream or maybe an oil (though I am not a fan of oils). After the timer goes off, have them turnover and reset the time for 30 minutes and again explore every inch. I would recommend that you avoid the genitals until after the timer goes off the second time so that you have spent and entire hour exploring your partner. Once the timer has gone off the second time, you can then approach the genitals again, just using your hands and take your time, use a normal lubricant for sex on them if needed. If you see them getting close to orgasm, back off a couple of times, let the erotic energy really build. Once they are super charged and beyond ready, bring them to orgasm, again, only using your hands. Try not to think about your own aching sex organs, this time is about your partner. When they have finished, then you can whip it out and take care of yourself all over them (don’t let them help you in anyway besides watching, don’t disturb the peace you have brought to them by making them work). Towel everybody off and just lay together under a blanket for 30 minutes, enjoying the moment.
If they want to reciprocate, schedule that for another night, and let them read this first so they understand the goals. I think that you will find that your hands can be the best sex organs you have and will be able to bring you both to amazing orgasms.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
First times
Do you remember each time that you lost your virginity?
I am not sure that I do. I remember the first time I had sex with a woman, her name was Sally. It was in college and I just really wanted to loose it. She was somebody I barely knew, a couple of years older than I, a bit larger and we had both been drinking. I took her to the house that I shared with several other people and took her to my single bed where we did the deed, it lasted about 3 minutes. I then left her in the bed and went to sleep on the couch. I later learned that another one of my roommates had taken the virginity of another casual acquaintance that same night and yet another roommate came staggering in the next morning having also had a one night stand to get over her ex who had decided that he was gay. I also got crabs from that first experience.
A couple of weeks later, I was hit on by a male bartender at one of my favorite bars. I excused myself and left quickly thinking that would be the end of it and that I had handled myself very well. Instead I was plagued with thoughts of what I had not done and decided that if the situation came up again, I would act on it. After all, I was in college and that was where you were supposed to learn about all that life had to offer. So I went back to the bar a couple of days later and hung out till it was closing time and we went to the office in the basement and had very awkward sex, basically just mutual masturbation. Again I thought that would be that, but being young and horny I went back and we tried several other things. I was also hanging with a very nice girl at the time but we never had sex, not that she didn’t want to, but I figured I should try to make up my mind about what I wanted before I do anything with her as I didn’t want to hurt her. When I decided I was gay, she was the first person I told. It still hurt her.
I remember the first time that the bartender and I tried anal sex. I was on the receiving end and just could not relax enough, I was very scared. I thought that the bartender and I were dating and exclusive but alas one day he announces his engagement to a girl from the college. She and I ended up getting into a bitch fight when she discovered that he also played with boys. Whatever. I left town. He later got married to another girl from college and about 5 years later got ill and died of Aids.
What I don’t remember is the first time that I successfully had anal sex. I know that it was after college. Aids was in the news every day and I was terrified of anal sex, even if condom was involved, so you would think that I would well remember who, when and where I lost that cherry either as a top or as a bottom. For whatever reason, it is gone from my mind, I don’t know if it was good or not. I know that when I had my first long term relationship it was not that big of a deal anymore, I still played safe but I was in love. We were both very proud to be "versatile" but in reality we were both wanting to be tops.
So why is this on my mind? Well, I know that on several occasions in my business, I have been somebody’s first time with another man. I am not their first anal experience, unless you count first prostate massage, but still, in a world of so many firsts, where do I fall and will I be part of that list that they remember for ages to come?
I have seen how my time with a man can change them forever. After several sessions with me, many men gain the confidence to look for male to male sexual experiences on a non professional basis. They will often tell me of their other experiences, good and bad. I have heard from men how they never knew that sex could be that good until they started experiencing male to male sex. I have no idea if any of them have ever found love with another man, at least none have told me about that. I would hate to think that our experiences together lead them to believe that sex with men is to be void of emotions, especially when those that fall for me I often have to end up pushing away.
I have often also been the first extramarital experience for several men, straight or gay. It is a safe place to have an outlet when things are dull at home. Here is where the exchange of money and lack of emotional demands is usually appreciated. Though there have been a couple of these situations where feelings developed over time which made things incredibly awkward. I was suddenly in the roll of a possible home wrecker, not exactly what I had signed up for, and they often feel very hurt.
On the other hand maybe I will be forgotten as well, like I cannot for the life of me remember actually losing my anal virginity. I guess it doesn’t matter, but I do think about it at times.
Though I would never break my self made vow of discretion, I do worry about the wives of the "straight" men who come to me. Knowing that eventually they will look elsewhere for more than I am willing to offer, I hope that they will play safe and not take anything home to their wives. I often feel, and have told a number of them that like to chat, that the wife should be told if man to man sex is something that the husband has decided that he needs in his life. Most will never say anything. I think that most spouses are aware when their significant other is getting something on the side, especially if it goes into the emotional realm. Generally speaking, if you suspect something, there is something to worry about. I believe in open communication so that the spouse can make up their mind what it is that they want. Who knows, maybe they will be fine with it. Maybe they have their own thing on the side. Maybe they are looking for permission to explore their own sexuality, or maybe they want a "don’t ask, don’t tell" policy. You just don’t know until it is brought out in the open. There are number of reasons I hear for not telling the spouse like "I don’t want to hurt them" or "I don’t want them to leave, I still love them" or my personal favorite "the bitch would take all my money."
To bring this around to the beginning, if I am their first, then let me be the first to give you my advice as well. Always play safe and be as honest with yourself and your other as you possible can be.
I am not sure that I do. I remember the first time I had sex with a woman, her name was Sally. It was in college and I just really wanted to loose it. She was somebody I barely knew, a couple of years older than I, a bit larger and we had both been drinking. I took her to the house that I shared with several other people and took her to my single bed where we did the deed, it lasted about 3 minutes. I then left her in the bed and went to sleep on the couch. I later learned that another one of my roommates had taken the virginity of another casual acquaintance that same night and yet another roommate came staggering in the next morning having also had a one night stand to get over her ex who had decided that he was gay. I also got crabs from that first experience.
A couple of weeks later, I was hit on by a male bartender at one of my favorite bars. I excused myself and left quickly thinking that would be the end of it and that I had handled myself very well. Instead I was plagued with thoughts of what I had not done and decided that if the situation came up again, I would act on it. After all, I was in college and that was where you were supposed to learn about all that life had to offer. So I went back to the bar a couple of days later and hung out till it was closing time and we went to the office in the basement and had very awkward sex, basically just mutual masturbation. Again I thought that would be that, but being young and horny I went back and we tried several other things. I was also hanging with a very nice girl at the time but we never had sex, not that she didn’t want to, but I figured I should try to make up my mind about what I wanted before I do anything with her as I didn’t want to hurt her. When I decided I was gay, she was the first person I told. It still hurt her.
I remember the first time that the bartender and I tried anal sex. I was on the receiving end and just could not relax enough, I was very scared. I thought that the bartender and I were dating and exclusive but alas one day he announces his engagement to a girl from the college. She and I ended up getting into a bitch fight when she discovered that he also played with boys. Whatever. I left town. He later got married to another girl from college and about 5 years later got ill and died of Aids.
What I don’t remember is the first time that I successfully had anal sex. I know that it was after college. Aids was in the news every day and I was terrified of anal sex, even if condom was involved, so you would think that I would well remember who, when and where I lost that cherry either as a top or as a bottom. For whatever reason, it is gone from my mind, I don’t know if it was good or not. I know that when I had my first long term relationship it was not that big of a deal anymore, I still played safe but I was in love. We were both very proud to be "versatile" but in reality we were both wanting to be tops.
So why is this on my mind? Well, I know that on several occasions in my business, I have been somebody’s first time with another man. I am not their first anal experience, unless you count first prostate massage, but still, in a world of so many firsts, where do I fall and will I be part of that list that they remember for ages to come?
I have seen how my time with a man can change them forever. After several sessions with me, many men gain the confidence to look for male to male sexual experiences on a non professional basis. They will often tell me of their other experiences, good and bad. I have heard from men how they never knew that sex could be that good until they started experiencing male to male sex. I have no idea if any of them have ever found love with another man, at least none have told me about that. I would hate to think that our experiences together lead them to believe that sex with men is to be void of emotions, especially when those that fall for me I often have to end up pushing away.
I have often also been the first extramarital experience for several men, straight or gay. It is a safe place to have an outlet when things are dull at home. Here is where the exchange of money and lack of emotional demands is usually appreciated. Though there have been a couple of these situations where feelings developed over time which made things incredibly awkward. I was suddenly in the roll of a possible home wrecker, not exactly what I had signed up for, and they often feel very hurt.
On the other hand maybe I will be forgotten as well, like I cannot for the life of me remember actually losing my anal virginity. I guess it doesn’t matter, but I do think about it at times.
Though I would never break my self made vow of discretion, I do worry about the wives of the "straight" men who come to me. Knowing that eventually they will look elsewhere for more than I am willing to offer, I hope that they will play safe and not take anything home to their wives. I often feel, and have told a number of them that like to chat, that the wife should be told if man to man sex is something that the husband has decided that he needs in his life. Most will never say anything. I think that most spouses are aware when their significant other is getting something on the side, especially if it goes into the emotional realm. Generally speaking, if you suspect something, there is something to worry about. I believe in open communication so that the spouse can make up their mind what it is that they want. Who knows, maybe they will be fine with it. Maybe they have their own thing on the side. Maybe they are looking for permission to explore their own sexuality, or maybe they want a "don’t ask, don’t tell" policy. You just don’t know until it is brought out in the open. There are number of reasons I hear for not telling the spouse like "I don’t want to hurt them" or "I don’t want them to leave, I still love them" or my personal favorite "the bitch would take all my money."
To bring this around to the beginning, if I am their first, then let me be the first to give you my advice as well. Always play safe and be as honest with yourself and your other as you possible can be.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
What makes a good sexual experience?
There can be a lot of answers to this depending on who you ask. Some say that it takes love to make sex great. Some say you have to really know your partner while others think that sex with a stranger is best. Some say it is best when it means something while others say that the more animalistic the sex the better. Some think it takes a taboo or a kink to make great sex and some say an element of danger. Some say physical attraction and others say emotional attraction and still others say mental attraction and some say attraction doesn’t matter at all.
For me it has little to do with how well I know the person, I have had great sex with strangers and lovers. It has little to do with looks, while the “right” look may get me in the mood faster, I have had sex with all shapes and sizes and ages and a lot of was really good. I have also had really lousy sex with all of the above. Kink, taboos and danger can be exciting but rarely create a great scene for me by themselves.
Personally, I believe it is the right combination of intentions. The best sex I have ever had in my life is when the intention on each party’s part was to please the other physically in a way that each partner also found pleasing. Case in point, I am a top and when I find a bottom that loves to bottom and will really get off on pleasing me I will most happily pound the hell out of them anyway that they like because I want to please them as well. You might find a guy who loves to suck and cums all over your feet while taking your dick down his throat (that’s hot). On the other hand, if I find myself with someone who just wants to please me and is not interested in my pleasing them, we have a problem. I can and will step up to the plate and play the role of the demanding very verbal top who doesn’t care about who or what is on the other end of my prick so long as I shoot my load, but it really isn’t as much fun for me. It might be good sex, but it isn’t great sex. Conversely if I run into someone who is just interested in getting themselves off and not in my satisfaction, I will be greatly disappointed.
It’s not that I don’t understand these ideas. With my partner there are times that I may not be that interested in getting off but if he is horny, I will gladly help him out and be there for his pleasure and not for mine. It is one of the reasons that many men like my massage. It is not about me but all about them. They can just lie there and receive pleasure and not worry about getting me off.
There are many men who have a great difficulty with this concept and really want to get me off during our time together, while I will allow them to play with my dick to help get them off, I do not get off for my clients as it leads to unreasonable expectations for the future. I can not get off with every client since I often have multiple clients in a day and I would have nothing left for my partner. There are also days that after a couple of clients I just want to get off, if my partner isn’t interested in having sex himself he may be willing to just service me and I am fine, other times I just take matters into my own hands.
Duration can have a lot to do with it for me as well. While a quickie can be nice for relieving some tension, I have rarely found that to be great sex. I know that not everyone is up for a marathon of sex, but it doesn’t have to end when somebody gets off either. Unless I am dog tired, I will keep going if I get off first, with all the vim and vigor I can muster. I respect others that will do the same, hell, this often leads to a round two for one or both of us. I like a lot of foreplay. I like being erect and excited and playful for a good long time. OK, so those who know me well know that I have what many have called “amazing dick control.” It comes with the territory. If you make a living giving naked massages and don’t want to cum with each client, you learn to control your orgasm. I was playing with a few guys a while back and one of them commented “you have three guys trying to get you off for 20 minutes and you still haven’t cum, what the hell?” My response was “I wasn’t aware that was the goal.” Seriously, I thought we were just playing with each other. No one else had cum yet, I thought this was supposed to be a marathon situation. I can cum quickly when I want to. For me it is all a matter of mental state. I will or will not give myself permission to ejaculate, I will tune in and out of the situation of what is happening to my dick. If my focus is on someone else instead of myself, the situation can last a long time. I do have my physical triggers as many men do, for me it is usually having my balls played with or being rimmed (rimming because I don’t get to experience that nearly often enough) but unless I am just out of my mind horny, I can control my orgasm for very long periods of time.
Expectations can also have an effect on good or great sex. Great sex for me is often a surprise encounter; where as if I have been fantasying of an experience with someone and I finally get my chance, it can be a let down. There was this guy in college who was a friend of mine and had become a bit of a sexual legend in his own time. Well, I got my chance to bed him and was so disappointed; it was a down right awkward experience. I am sure if we had tried it again it would have been better, but who knows.
Some would call it chemistry; I say it is matter of guessing the correct buttons to push. Every time I get a new client on the table for a sensual massage I have a lot of choices to make as to what I think will really turn them on. Fortunately I have an hour or more of touching their body to help me figure it out. Who takes that amount of time in a first sexual experience? Maybe we all should. When two people have sex for the first time their can be a lot of trial and error. Sometimes you guess right, sometimes you guess wrong. When both are guessing right it can be great, if both guess wrong, well then it is only good. Actually this can happen with a partner you have been with for years as well, hopefully after a number of years they will be open and honest enough to verbally tell you when you are off the mark (and yes, the buttons can change on daily basis).
So what is the point of this post? None really. People can learn to be better at sex if there is a patient teacher but even pros can have an off day and the best sex is when both people are really into doing what pleases the other and happen to get off on those activities as well. Here’s hoping that you will find some great sex soon.
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