Thursday, December 23, 2010

Repeat Clients get special treatment.

A large percentage of my work is on repeat customers, many who have been coming to see me for several years now. Some who choose to spend their birthdays with me and occasionally I will go an extra mile for these customers, especially if they have been good tippers as well.

I will go out of my way to fit them into my schedule, I will try to arrange music they have said they liked, make sure the room temp is to their liking, wear the underwear they like, have extra candles burning and the like.

These clients will also most likely get some of their other requests at least considered and often granted. For example, one of my married clients who finally told me his real first name after three years, has asked to start the session with him undressing me. Fine. He takes his time and kisses and licks as he goes, I will also undress him. He always books a 90 minute session and will often spend the first 30 minutes undressing each other and exploring my body. He has discovered that I like having my balls licked. I have taught him that crevasse of the leg and pubic area is one of the most sensitive of the body. I have also taught him that his ears are erogenous zone, and though he tries to return the favor, he still is learning the art subtlety.

Another client who enjoys this type of beginning to the session wants to “make out” for an extended period of time. I will confess, I have more issues with this than any thing else. First off, it’s very rare that their breath is as fresh as it should be. Second, a lot of men kiss really badly… a bit like a giant blind slug of a tongue is trying to burrow it’s way down your gullet. Third, kissing is a very intimate act, much more than hugging, jacking, or even fucking. Saliva is exchanged, breath is shared, tasting of each others mouths, the feeling of another’s tongue and teeth, the pressing of lips against lips, the burn of the facial hair. It is all very intimate and sometimes difficult to do if the guy looks like your grandfather. It is very rare that anyone except a long term client will even attempt to kiss and then I will only allow if they have been a very good long term client that makes regular appointments, keeps them and tips well. Honestly, it does nothing for me in that I do not find it to be a turn on to be kissed by anyone but my partner. I have never been a random kisser. Even in my dating days, I very rarely kissed someone until I was sure I liked them and was willing to explore a relationship. I have never liked the guys who will come up and try to tongue you 10 minutes after meeting. You can suck my dick if you want something to do with your tongue, or rim me even, I like that. Note that I do refer to the tongue in all this. A peck on the cheek is fine of course, even a peck on the lips is fine, providing we have been intimate. I am always taken aback when a casual friend will kiss me on the lips – just something I never expect.

Occasionally a long term client will ask if he can give me a massage as part of his time. Again, if he has been a good client, I will go for this. Many just want to give me some of the same pleasure that I give them. Most however just want the opportunity to touch another man all over, something that they don’t get to do in their regular lives. Remember that a lot of my clients are men married to women and have been for years. So yes, in these cases I will let them massage me. I will lie on the table and relax, offer advice occasionally, or if they just want to focus on my cock and balls for a while, I may let them. I have incredible dick control after all these years, so I will only cum if I truly want to and since I don’t cum with clients, I usually don’t. I say usually because I am only human and occasionally my concentration slips. Why if I do all of this would I still be a stickler about not cumming for my clients? The answers are still the same: it is not practical to try to cum multiple times every day, there are clients who repulse me, I save something for my partner, and it can also send a wrong message to the client and breaks down the client/masseur relationship. There needs to be a professional distance for everyone’s sake. I do this for money, not because I want to have sex with every guy I meet.

Not that I don’t get to know some of my regulars quite well. I usually end up knowing what line of work they are in and whether they like it, their spouses names, how many kids (and their names), where they take vacations, if their parents are alive or not, what their sexual experiences have been, what kind of money they have, what their fears are, what their hopes are, what they wish thy had done differently in their lives, their health histories, and obviously I get to know them physically. What each ones erogenous zones are, what they don’t like, where they have had injuries, ailments. I know their smells, the texture of their skin (this varies more than you could possibly imagine), whether they die their hair, what shape their feet are in, whether they are gaining or loosing weight and what exercise the do.

Back to my regulars. Some of the requests I have heard and to some degree have helped my regulars with: premature ejaculation, prolonged prostate massage, mild fisting, ball torture, tickle torture, and occasionally I have let them suck my dick. I know that I am sounding more and more as a whore instead of a massage therapist. Let me clarify again, that only half or so of my clients receive any erotic elements, only long term clients who tip well receive consideration of their special requests so perhaps I do these sort of things a couple of times a month (and no I don’t charge extra for these services, though I do expect them to tip well). Do I always want to do these things? No, not really. Oh, there are times that I do because the client is cute and has a great personality. But more often than not, I do them as a bonus to reward a good client and it is all just part of the job.

Another thing I appreciate is the occasional gift for an occasion like birthday or Christmas. One of my clients gives me a bottle of Bourbon each Christmas, several throw in an extra large tip (always appreciated), I get Christmas cards, house plants, condoms (seriously), and of course Christmas ornaments and the like. These all mean something to me and I do remember when it comes to special requests. I just want to state that any of my clients reading this already treat me wonderfully. Hope everyone has a good experience with massage soon! - Jack

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Letter from a reader....

Love the blog. I'm straight married guy who loves to receive massage. I have had several massage therapists who let me go nude, but I had to quit seeing 2 of them because I wanted to ask for more and knew they wouldn't.


How can I tell whether to ask for that special 90 seconds? I'm kind of a shy-nice guy type who is usually pretty good at signals but I don't want to get thrown out either. I know there probably isn't any answer to my question. I really want to find a therapist who is legit (like you), but has clients who they can trust (me).

I'm kinda wishing you were in my state--even though I'm straight.

- Steven
 
Thanks Steven for reading and for the question.
 
A therapist's biggest fear is that you are cop, trying to trap them. You have to let them know that this is not the case. There are several signs that I look for. You have already answered one, if an option, no draping. This is a sign they may want more. Verbalize your appreciation, light oohs and ahs and low moans are good signs. Erections are helpful to let me know. Keeping your legs spread as much as possible. Physical contact is the other. If they are close to the table, let your hand touch their leg and leave it there (don't
grab, that's rude). Some guys will say to me "if you want to get more comfortable, feel free" as a way of asking if I will work nude. Lightly humping the table while laying on your front is a big hint, try to do this as subtly as possible.

Most therapists I know who do both, very rarely do erotic work on a first appointment, cops don't bother coming back if there was no hanky panky the first time.

Tip well, from the first visit, therapists are much more likely to bend the rules for clients they like and who treat them well.

Start a conversation about erotic massage... "I suppose you get a lot of guys asking for a happy ending? Does that bother you?" Don't say this on your first appointment, sounds like a set up. Have a conversation after the first appointment. Perhaps by email, or phone. Thank the masseur for your first massage, how much you enjoyed it, how much you look forward to returning. Compliment him on his touch, how it made you feel. How you wish you had skills like his so you could make him feel as good he made you feel. Compliment the surroundings, the music, the scents (a good therapist puts a lot of thought and time into all of these and loves it when it gets noticed). Compliment his strength and physique. These are all ways to get on his good side, and lets him know you may be interested in more.

Let me know if this helps - Jack

PS: I wrote the following in one of my posts:
So how do you find out if your therapist does a little extra? First off, realize that unless they advertise in an erotic section of advertising, they probably won’t say much over the phone or on email, remember, doing erotic or even sensual massage is illegal almost everywhere. Not only is there the police to worry about, but the local massage licensing board can revoke one’s license and levy some very heavy fines. So, starting with ad, there are some key words used in the trade, such as draping optional (where allowed by law), anytime a therapist only works on one gender, the word “release”, in some places in the country “full body”, in others it may be “completely satisfied”, if the ad gives the stats of the provider or uses terms to define their looks such as handsome, sexy, or fit. You get the idea. These are terms used to excite the customer into believing that this massage provides a little extra. They do not guarantee something extra. I know many workers who will only do sensual or erotic work on clients they find attractive but still use these terms to boost their client list, however, they are still a good indication that an erotic or sensual massage is at least a possibility. An ad that show a half naked photo of the therapist is also a good indication, but again, not fool proof.

The price is also an indication, though not always. Typically, if a therapist is charging 20% above the average going rate, they probably offer something extra, especially if they work out of their home. Spas are usually above average market price but almost never offer any extras. The most expensive are the rub and tug people who do not really massage but just use it as a front for prostitution clients.

Recommendations are always good way to go. Ask around anonymously on the web; be specific about what you want. Get more than one response. The problem with the web is that it is a great place for petty people to take out their aggressions. Say for example they wanted an erotic massage from someone and did not get it, when they see someone asking for an erotic massage, they may use it as an opportunity to send a pervert to them, sad but true.

When you talk to them on the phone, do they emphasize non-sexual? Do they talk on about medical terms and fancy techniques? These are probably truly non sexual.

Some styles that would indicate something more would be Tantric or Body Electric or in some cases Esalon. If prostate massage is offered or full body scrubs, these could also be signs that extra are being done.

Ask if draping is optional, if it is, the odds that it is a sensual or erotic massage go up.

If you are on the table, be somewhat vocal when touched in a way that you like and when you are touched where you like. If the masseur is close enough to the table that your hand is touching their leg, don't
grab of poke or dig but ever so gently stroke lightly with a finger. Spreading your legs as far apart as possible is a good sign as well as arching the back slightly. Keep it all coming from a place of
relaxation and enjoyment.

Personally, I believe the best approach is not to worry about it. Assume that the massage is not going to be sensual or erotic and just be pleasantly surprised if it is.

OK, a momentary reality check

Yes, I make my living doing massage with men and about 50% of the time I include sensual work. Sometimes, I let them play with me as well. Most people in my profession do. So here is a little reality check for clients.

If you are going to a masseur who plays with you during the massage, he probably does it with at least 50% of his clients, probably does it at least once a day or more. You are not the special one. No matter how special he makes you feel (that is part of his job). You need to be OK with that. Each will have their own limits, some hate kissing, some will not cum with their clients, some will always remain clothed, some do not like mutual touch. He may have different limits with different clients, most are human and have likes and dislikes and you may not be his type at all, most will do as much as they can but everyone has there limits.

Here is one thing that is true for almost all of them. We do what we do for money. We may like our jobs, some more than others, but it is a job. Most will never date a client, this will cost us said client. Most will not have outside hook-ups for sex with their clients, this is another way to loose a paying client. If you think that you are different than the others we deal with, you may well be, but we can’t take that chance. It amazes me how often I get asked to go on a date, even after I have mentioned my partner. I am also constantly asked to have random hook-ups with my clients. I explain my rules, the why’s and the wherefore’s and still, they say it will be different with them.

Clients have done computer checks to find out if I have any sex ads out there. I have clients who have compared notes with other clients of mine to find out what I have done with them during our sessions. When I discover that a client is that obsessed, I will drop them as a client, usually with an explanation.

Just because a bodyworker gets an erection while working, does not mean that he is really turned by you. Again, this is a part of the job. They may have taken a little blue pill, watched a lot of porn before you arrived and may be thinking about doing it with Wolverine. Here is a good rule of thumb, if the bodyworker is far more attractive than you, he is probably thinking about someone else. Do not assume he wants to have sex with you. Sorry to ruin the fantasy.

Here is another little reality check; I don’t mind chatting with you during our session as long as the focus stays on you. I will answer the occasional questions about my private life, but it is my private life and what I share is up to me. Also, when we talk, it should be on the clock, if you come in and talk to me for 15 minutes before the session starts, it should come off your time… if it doesn’t you should tip well. The same goes for after your session is over, don’t expect to hang out for a half an hour or more after your session is over, my time is worth something, I don’t wish to be rude but you got to go. To take this one step further, I really don’t need to receive numerous emails, phone messages, texts, etc. telling me about how your life is going. I understand that you view me as your friend, and it’s not that you are not a nice person, but you are my client. Even though we may have discussed your sexual life and your various relationships in the course of a session, it was within the context of the session, I am not a 24 hour emotional therapist. I am happy that you feel so comfortable with me, but again, remember that we have a client / bodywork therapist relationship where I get paid for my time. I may be able to help you and listen to your issues, but save them for when we are together.

Oh, kissing on the cheek is usually fine, full open mouth kissing may not be so. To many men, this is way more intimate than touching each other's dicks or a prostate massage.

Thank you for listening and treat your therapist well.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

The fine Italian Man

One of my newest clients is a fine looking Italian man, really from Italy. English is his second language, but he speaks it fairly well. The first thing that makes him stand out is his clothing. He wears only Italian clothes and the cut is remarkable, very fitted and making him look quite slim. I was actually surprised when he undressed and he was not stick thin but rather well built and with a bit of meat on his bones.

He found me on line and had asked a lot of questions about what kind of massage I do and letting me know that he was not American and was very open minded. Well of course we all know what that means. He did not wait to get undressed but started disrobing immediately. I explained the how I wanted him on the table and that there was draping available if he wanted it and excused my self to wash my hands while he finished stripping. When I returned the towel I had left for him to cover himself was tossed aside and he was lying face down on the table. His legs have a soft covering of dark hair over his slightly olive colored skin running up to cover his beautiful bubble butt. His back has very little hair but the hair is thick again on his arms. He had a head of thick dark hair, ever so slightly sprinkled with gray at the temples.

He talked a lot. Again about how he was from Italy and very open minded. Told me he had a wife that he worked here on behalf of his government in Italy (I was then realizing why prostitutes make good spies). He had not given me his real name having already referred to himself by two different names. He was being very respectful, not grabby at all, I appreciate that. As I near his bubble butt he begins to grind the table lightly and wave his ass in the air. I “accidently” let a finger “slip” between those plump cheeks and he shivers slightly. It is time for him to turn over and he is half hard. His hand immediately goes to his dick and plays with it, not aggressively, but rather a constant fondling. He asks me if it bothers me. I reply no and continue with my work. He talks a lot about nudity and how prudish American society is and what would it matter with two consenting adults. I have had a raging boner for this guy for most of the massage, a fact that he of course noticed. I disrobe and he starts complimenting me on my physique and my dick.

If you have ever read my blog before you know that I have about 6 inches of cock, kind of on the narrow side. Great for fucking since most everyone can take it and it does not intimidate too many guys. Still, not what is considered “stunning” in the gay world since it is not huge and on my 6’ frame it can look even a bit smaller, so I take the compliments on my dick with a grain of salt. A client looking for sex will say almost anything.

His dick is quite nice, probably about 6.5 to 7 and thick, though he seems to have some difficulty in keeping it fully erect, the reason I assume he is constantly playing with it. I compliment him on his equipment and he answers with a very sincere sounding “You don’t think it’s ugly?” I tell him of course not, it’s a good sized piece of meat. “Yes” he says “but I’m not cut. Most guys think it’s hideous!” I tell him he obviously has not been playing with the right guys. While it is true most men in the States are circumcised, that just means a lot of them have a healthy fascination with those that are not.

I continue with the massage, working his chest and abs, he still playing with his dick, occasionally reaching over to stroke mine. I replace his hand with mine and start my magic, but after just a few moments I hear the familiar “I don’t want to cum, I want to wait.” He is new so I won’t bother with trying to explain how this is the best time in the massage to cum but rather I nod and release his penis and continue with the massage. Through the rest of my work on his legs and arms and stretching and scalp, neck and face work he is still playing with his dick and occasionally reaching for mine. As I finish my work I once more replace his hand with mine and after a couple of strokes he again tells me “No, I want to wait, it is the anticipation that is the best part.” I explain that the time is up and it’s now or never and he states “I am good, next time.” OK, what ever. We get dressed and he pays (no tip… Europeans) and goes on his way.

His next visit is about 3 weeks later. It all follows about the same routine. At the normal ¾ mark I offer my hand to replace his and again after a few strokes he says “that he wants to wait.” This time I do explain that if he wants an orgasm during his massage, this is really the best time for all over body health, and he still wants to wait. So the massage ends, we are both naked and he asks if I have time to play. I explain that is something that doesn’t really happen. Not that I don’t find him attractive, I do, but I am working. I do offer to give him a hand, he refuses. He asks to taste my dick. OK, fine, but understand that I won’t cum. I’m thinking that he is going to jack off with my dick in his mouth (this is what a lot of guys really seem to like). However, he literally just tastes my dick and asks again “are you sure you can’t play?” Yes, I am sure. He gets dressed and leaves, seemingly disappointed. I also believe this will be the last time I see him.

Wrong. About 5 weeks later he has made another appointment. He seems just a nervous as his first. I don’t try to do more than take the occasional fondle of his cock. I have never and still don’t try a prostate massage, really nothing more than an external rosebud massage on his anus. I don’t try to relieve at the ¾ mark. He still fondles his cock non stop and still fondles mine occasionally. At the end of the massage, I ask if he would like to cum. “Only if you do.” I reply that I would like to see him cum. He says “No, only if you cum as well.” OK, I still find this guy sexy as hell and I have had a hard on for the last 90 minutes so I say what the hell! He sits up and plays with my cock intently, I stroke his lightly, he pauses, “Maybe I shouldn’t I may have to perform tonight.” You can’t do it twice in one day? It’s early yet. “I can cum twice! Of course I can!” He starts to stroke me again and I with him. Within 30 seconds he exclaims “No! Stop! Oh shit, I’m cumming!” He was barely hard! No wonder he didn’t want me to play with him much, he has a hair trigger. “I wanted to see you cum.” Just as well, I would have been breaking several of my own rules. I clean us off and we get dressed. He pays and leaves, this time leaving a $20 tip… about time.