Forgive me if I go astray

My mind is all over the place today, maybe I had Attention Deficit Disorder, so forgive me if this post goes all over the place.
You see the economy is going further south and my phone has pretty much stopped ringing. Fortunately I had a couple of good weeks in Sept and tried like hell not to spend any unnecessary money. Even though both my parents and my partner’s parents needed some extra help this month.
Now that may sound like a negative comment and may appear to some people that I have an unhappy life and am always bitching. Not really true but I do understand that thought process. If you look at the world of blogs you find many that sound very depressing and just a few overly positive ones. The reason is that many people use their blogs to vent so that they are not venting on their friends all the time. Everyone needs to vent once in a while and bitch about their jobs or the economy or politics, it is a natural thing to do. Let me assure you that though I use my blog for venting once in a while, I generally have a very happy life and most days really like doing bodywork, and I love my partner and our parents (OK, I have never met his asshole father, but that’s another story).
You see, when I started this blog, it was confessions of a bodyworker, what he thinks and feels, what he can’t say to his partner, friends, and clients. Anonymity is key to this kind of writing, unfortunately my ego got the better of me and wanted feedback so I let a couple of friends in on the blog and a couple of my clients figured it out as well. This has lead to limited censorship on my part, I try my best to not let it influence my writing, but in truth it has to a small degree. Not anything significant so far, but some stories that would have been a treat to tell, I have left out of the on-line stuff, maybe I will put it in the book.
Anyway, with the economy going south and me finding myself with free time on my hand but afraid to leave the apartment in case someone calls and wants a last minute appointment, I have way too much time to think.
For example, I realize that I fewer friends in my life these days. Why? Well some have moved on or some have faded away but mainly because I don’t meet a lot of new people these days. Clients are clients and not really appropriate for friend type gatherings, so I am not meeting people at "work" as I often have with other jobs. I haven’t been doing many extra curricular activities such as theater or classes since money has been tight and I haven’t felt right about it. Now I still have a very tight inner circle of friends but that really needs to be expanded as it grows a little smaller each year.
Now I just want to state the nothing said in this post applies to anyone I know who might be reading this. I am not writing about the people who know that I keep this blog. That said, I do have a fair number of needy friends. That is, I tend to mainly hear from them when they need help with something, either to talk about a problem they are having, or a ride somewhere, or help moving. I am a nice guy and pretty much always help out in these situations. I care that someone maybe having a mental breakdown, especially someone I know and of course I will listen to them and try to help anyway I can. Yes, it is incredibly inconvenient for me to drive several miles out of my way late at night to give you a ride, but I am technically available so I will help you, even though you do not even offer me gas money. No, I have never asked your help when I have moved, but I will help you out even though I don’t really want to eat that take-out cheese pizza and warm beer. Obviously I am not a saint since a saint would never bitch about these things. I do assume that each and every person I have ever helped would do the same for me if I asked them and if they were available. Many came through for me when my friend died last year or when my partner and I were having difficulties a few years ago. If only one of them had way for me to get rich quick!
Speaking of which, that is another thought that is desperately racing through my head, with the economy in cellar, what am I going to do for money? My partner is working (2 jobs in fact, which is actually make me feel really guilty), but we are still having a bit of a rough time. The parental issues don’t help, but what are you going to do? Tell your parents "Sorry, but you will just have to go without heat for at least the first part of the winter, maybe we can help you after that." Of course not, and I happy to help our parents. So it means a few less meals out and no cable, big deal, it is the right thing to do.
So, I need more money. I have registered with the Temp agencies again, trying not to feel like the biggest failure in the world. I am not. I know that I am not, it is just that no seems interested in someone who once worked as an EEO Counselor for a govt agency with a theater degree who has been working as bodyworker for last several years. I am also considering going back to school for my masters. I have a BFA which is only good for saying that "yes, I graduated from college." If I take a couple of extra courses, I could go for the MBA which would help if I go back to Corporate, an idea I dread on the one hand, but on the other hand the money was good. I would be happiest running my own business, but I would really need some classes before I would feel comfortable dealing with anything beyond the simple stuff I do for my bodywork business. Then there is the question of what kind of business would be best for me? One would assume something in customer service industry. I could go to school for a degree in sexual therapy. I have thought seriously about this. I am just worried that I may end up in the same boat I am in now. Most sexual therapists work for themselves and charge only slightly higher rates than I do now, so it would then depend on supply and demand. I know a couple of counselors who list sex therapy under their specialities and do make more money than I overall, but still are hurting when the economy tanks.
My partner is feeling particularly stressed these days with my income decreasing and his working two jobs and more people wanting money from us. We should be investing in our futures at this time in our lives and we are struggling to make ends meet instead. Though overall, I still am enjoying my life.
The Dentist wants me to get my wisdom teeth pulled. Fortunately I have insurance through my partner and most of the expenses are covered, the bad news is I will be unavailable for bodywork for a few days at least. A few days of nothing but soup and soft foods may be very good for me.
Had an interesting client the other day, a Pakistani, I don’t get many of them. He’s been living in the states a number of years though he still has a thick accent. He is married but definitely likes to play with men. He is cool with that idea, but if his Pakistani relatives or friends ever found out, it would be the end of his world. Even in America it is the culture of the people who surround you that matters most, not the general culture of the country. He has a great business career and is afraid it would collapse if word ever got out. Of course the white CEO of a Fortune 500 company told me the same thing just before asking me to stick my entire hand up his butt (I didn’t do it).
I have been trying to practice the power of positive thinking and "the secret" (a very dull read by the way). I think my biggest issue is that I don’t really know what I want. I can name things and a few random ideas: money, a house, love, peace, happiness (not necessarily in that order) but as far as a career, no clue anymore. Of course the way the politics in this country are going, it may all be a mute point.
Overall I am very grateful for my loving partner, a roof over my head (rental that it may be), food on the table and a handful of really good friends. Somehow I always thought that should be enough. It is only as I get older that I worry about getting older. I am not afraid of physically growing old, but of being old and broke. That is why I must focus my energy on positive things like "money comes freely and easily."
I will end this here, my head is calming down and I think I need a nap. - Jack

Look Ma, just my hands!

My job is all about touch, be it a therapeutic massage to relieve sore muscles or a relaxing Swedish massage to calm a person’s nerves or an erotic massage to bring them to the heights of ecstacy, it is all about my touch.
While I do have a fair amount of training on different techniques, most people in this field will admit that there is a gift of touch that you either have or you don’t. Many of the graduates of the best massage schools can pass their exams with flying colors and get certified anywhere in the country, but that does not mean that they have the gift. Likewise, many people can instinctively start massaging another person with amazing results, having never taken a class in their life.
When I am giving a massage, I spend a lot of my energy focusing on what I see, hear and feel as I work. My hands are feeling for knots and tight muscles while my eyes are watching for non-verbal responses from the body and my ears are listening for slightest moan or gasp as I try to figure what the body on the table needs most from me. That is why I sometimes really like to remain clothed for at least part of the massage so I can fucus on the therapeutic aspects of a massage. Even in the most erotic massages, I still focus on relieving stress and sore muscles, with my focus there, odds are I will not have an erection if the client starts feeling around for one. My fear of course is that they will think that they are not attractive enough to arouse me, when in truth, my mind is just too far from my body and too focused on theirs.
With my several years of experience, I have often been told that I have given many men the best orgasms of their lives. All of this is just with the use of my hands. Oh sure several men will only cum when they have a hand on my dick, but it is still my hands that are doing all the work.
I start every massage from a very "legit" point of view. I want to soothe and relax the body. Once the sore muscles have been soothed and the stress knots released and a general feeling of relaxation has been established, then the erotic part of the massage is much more effective. One of the keys to a good massage is to take your time, another reason for me stay clothed. You see, if I get aroused early in the massage I can get swept up in the erotic energy and start rushing to get to the orgasm. This short changes the client from getting the most out of the massage and leaves me trying to "fill" time at the end (this rarely happens). In a 90 minute massage, the client will often spend the first 30 minutes receiving just a back massage. The next 25 minutes or so are spent on spent on the feet, legs and buttocks. The next 5 minutes or so are spent on the erogenous zones around anal area, scrotum and penis if it is sticking out between their legs, then I ask them to turn over, so they have spent the first hour lying on their stomach with very little "erotic" touch.
Once they have turned over I spend 5 on the chest, 5 on the abs, then I usually focus on the cock, balls, anus and nips until they orgasm. The rest of the time is divided up on stretches, massaging legs, arms, face and the back of the neck. A full body massage from head to toe is the object. Given my preference, I would not undress until I was ready to start the erotic work while they are still on their stomach. The rest of the time my focus should be on the client’s muscles and stress relief and not worrying about whether I have a hard on or not. Not that I complaining about doing all nude massage as long as the client is cool with my erection coming and going.
Anyway, back to touch. Most clients are amazed that I can make them feel so good using only my hands, whether it is relieving their stress or rubbing their dick or massaging their prostate. Natural gifts have a lot to do with it, but so does taking my time. I know that a lot of my readers have partners or either or both sexes, I wonder how many have tried to make love to another with just their hands. I am not talking about a 90 second hand job, but exploring every inch of your partner with just your hands. Finding out how they are put together and what makes them feel good. Really taking the time to rub and caress every inch of your partner with nothing but your hands can be an awesome experience. You may find that this is easiest if you remain clothed, don’t let yourself get too caught up in the erotic energy that it causes you to rush. Set a timer somewhere in the room and start with just exploring your partner’s backside for at least 30 minutes, and I am talking every inch. I am not talking about trying to give a therapeutic massage, but just lovingly caressing every inch of your partner. You will probably want to use a moisturizing cream or maybe an oil (though I am not a fan of oils). After the timer goes off, have them turnover and reset the time for 30 minutes and again explore every inch. I would recommend that you avoid the genitals until after the timer goes off the second time so that you have spent and entire hour exploring your partner. Once the timer has gone off the second time, you can then approach the genitals again, just using your hands and take your time, use a normal lubricant for sex on them if needed. If you see them getting close to orgasm, back off a couple of times, let the erotic energy really build. Once they are super charged and beyond ready, bring them to orgasm, again, only using your hands. Try not to think about your own aching sex organs, this time is about your partner. When they have finished, then you can whip it out and take care of yourself all over them (don’t let them help you in anyway besides watching, don’t disturb the peace you have brought to them by making them work). Towel everybody off and just lay together under a blanket for 30 minutes, enjoying the moment.
If they want to reciprocate, schedule that for another night, and let them read this first so they understand the goals. I think that you will find that your hands can be the best sex organs you have and will be able to bring you both to amazing orgasms.

First times

Do you remember each time that you lost your virginity?
I am not sure that I do. I remember the first time I had sex with a woman, her name was Sally. It was in college and I just really wanted to loose it. She was somebody I barely knew, a couple of years older than I, a bit larger and we had both been drinking. I took her to the house that I shared with several other people and took her to my single bed where we did the deed, it lasted about 3 minutes. I then left her in the bed and went to sleep on the couch. I later learned that another one of my roommates had taken the virginity of another casual acquaintance that same night and yet another roommate came staggering in the next morning having also had a one night stand to get over her ex who had decided that he was gay. I also got crabs from that first experience.
A couple of weeks later, I was hit on by a male bartender at one of my favorite bars. I excused myself and left quickly thinking that would be the end of it and that I had handled myself very well. Instead I was plagued with thoughts of what I had not done and decided that if the situation came up again, I would act on it. After all, I was in college and that was where you were supposed to learn about all that life had to offer. So I went back to the bar a couple of days later and hung out till it was closing time and we went to the office in the basement and had very awkward sex, basically just mutual masturbation. Again I thought that would be that, but being young and horny I went back and we tried several other things. I was also hanging with a very nice girl at the time but we never had sex, not that she didn’t want to, but I figured I should try to make up my mind about what I wanted before I do anything with her as I didn’t want to hurt her. When I decided I was gay, she was the first person I told. It still hurt her.
I remember the first time that the bartender and I tried anal sex. I was on the receiving end and just could not relax enough, I was very scared. I thought that the bartender and I were dating and exclusive but alas one day he announces his engagement to a girl from the college. She and I ended up getting into a bitch fight when she discovered that he also played with boys. Whatever. I left town. He later got married to another girl from college and about 5 years later got ill and died of Aids.
What I don’t remember is the first time that I successfully had anal sex. I know that it was after college. Aids was in the news every day and I was terrified of anal sex, even if condom was involved, so you would think that I would well remember who, when and where I lost that cherry either as a top or as a bottom. For whatever reason, it is gone from my mind, I don’t know if it was good or not. I know that when I had my first long term relationship it was not that big of a deal anymore, I still played safe but I was in love. We were both very proud to be "versatile" but in reality we were both wanting to be tops.
So why is this on my mind? Well, I know that on several occasions in my business, I have been somebody’s first time with another man. I am not their first anal experience, unless you count first prostate massage, but still, in a world of so many firsts, where do I fall and will I be part of that list that they remember for ages to come?
I have seen how my time with a man can change them forever. After several sessions with me, many men gain the confidence to look for male to male sexual experiences on a non professional basis. They will often tell me of their other experiences, good and bad. I have heard from men how they never knew that sex could be that good until they started experiencing male to male sex. I have no idea if any of them have ever found love with another man, at least none have told me about that. I would hate to think that our experiences together lead them to believe that sex with men is to be void of emotions, especially when those that fall for me I often have to end up pushing away.
I have often also been the first extramarital experience for several men, straight or gay. It is a safe place to have an outlet when things are dull at home. Here is where the exchange of money and lack of emotional demands is usually appreciated. Though there have been a couple of these situations where feelings developed over time which made things incredibly awkward. I was suddenly in the roll of a possible home wrecker, not exactly what I had signed up for, and they often feel very hurt.
On the other hand maybe I will be forgotten as well, like I cannot for the life of me remember actually losing my anal virginity. I guess it doesn’t matter, but I do think about it at times.
Though I would never break my self made vow of discretion, I do worry about the wives of the "straight" men who come to me. Knowing that eventually they will look elsewhere for more than I am willing to offer, I hope that they will play safe and not take anything home to their wives. I often feel, and have told a number of them that like to chat, that the wife should be told if man to man sex is something that the husband has decided that he needs in his life. Most will never say anything. I think that most spouses are aware when their significant other is getting something on the side, especially if it goes into the emotional realm. Generally speaking, if you suspect something, there is something to worry about. I believe in open communication so that the spouse can make up their mind what it is that they want. Who knows, maybe they will be fine with it. Maybe they have their own thing on the side. Maybe they are looking for permission to explore their own sexuality, or maybe they want a "don’t ask, don’t tell" policy. You just don’t know until it is brought out in the open. There are number of reasons I hear for not telling the spouse like "I don’t want to hurt them" or "I don’t want them to leave, I still love them" or my personal favorite "the bitch would take all my money."
To bring this around to the beginning, if I am their first, then let me be the first to give you my advice as well. Always play safe and be as honest with yourself and your other as you possible can be.

What makes a good sexual experience?

I like sex, I don’t think that is a big secret, most people do. As a wise women (Mae West) once said “When sex is good, it’s great, but even when sex is bad, it’s still good.” But what makes sex great?

There can be a lot of answers to this depending on who you ask. Some say that it takes love to make sex great. Some say you have to really know your partner while others think that sex with a stranger is best. Some say it is best when it means something while others say that the more animalistic the sex the better. Some think it takes a taboo or a kink to make great sex and some say an element of danger. Some say physical attraction and others say emotional attraction and still others say mental attraction and some say attraction doesn’t matter at all.

For me it has little to do with how well I know the person, I have had great sex with strangers and lovers. It has little to do with looks, while the “right” look may get me in the mood faster, I have had sex with all shapes and sizes and ages and a lot of was really good. I have also had really lousy sex with all of the above. Kink, taboos and danger can be exciting but rarely create a great scene for me by themselves.

Personally, I believe it is the right combination of intentions. The best sex I have ever had in my life is when the intention on each party’s part was to please the other physically in a way that each partner also found pleasing. Case in point, I am a top and when I find a bottom that loves to bottom and will really get off on pleasing me I will most happily pound the hell out of them anyway that they like because I want to please them as well. You might find a guy who loves to suck and cums all over your feet while taking your dick down his throat (that’s hot). On the other hand, if I find myself with someone who just wants to please me and is not interested in my pleasing them, we have a problem. I can and will step up to the plate and play the role of the demanding very verbal top who doesn’t care about who or what is on the other end of my prick so long as I shoot my load, but it really isn’t as much fun for me. It might be good sex, but it isn’t great sex. Conversely if I run into someone who is just interested in getting themselves off and not in my satisfaction, I will be greatly disappointed.

It’s not that I don’t understand these ideas. With my partner there are times that I may not be that interested in getting off but if he is horny, I will gladly help him out and be there for his pleasure and not for mine. It is one of the reasons that many men like my massage. It is not about me but all about them. They can just lie there and receive pleasure and not worry about getting me off.

There are many men who have a great difficulty with this concept and really want to get me off during our time together, while I will allow them to play with my dick to help get them off, I do not get off for my clients as it leads to unreasonable expectations for the future. I can not get off with every client since I often have multiple clients in a day and I would have nothing left for my partner. There are also days that after a couple of clients I just want to get off, if my partner isn’t interested in having sex himself he may be willing to just service me and I am fine, other times I just take matters into my own hands.

Duration can have a lot to do with it for me as well. While a quickie can be nice for relieving some tension, I have rarely found that to be great sex. I know that not everyone is up for a marathon of sex, but it doesn’t have to end when somebody gets off either. Unless I am dog tired, I will keep going if I get off first, with all the vim and vigor I can muster. I respect others that will do the same, hell, this often leads to a round two for one or both of us. I like a lot of foreplay. I like being erect and excited and playful for a good long time. OK, so those who know me well know that I have what many have called “amazing dick control.” It comes with the territory. If you make a living giving naked massages and don’t want to cum with each client, you learn to control your orgasm. I was playing with a few guys a while back and one of them commented “you have three guys trying to get you off for 20 minutes and you still haven’t cum, what the hell?” My response was “I wasn’t aware that was the goal.” Seriously, I thought we were just playing with each other. No one else had cum yet, I thought this was supposed to be a marathon situation. I can cum quickly when I want to. For me it is all a matter of mental state. I will or will not give myself permission to ejaculate, I will tune in and out of the situation of what is happening to my dick. If my focus is on someone else instead of myself, the situation can last a long time. I do have my physical triggers as many men do, for me it is usually having my balls played with or being rimmed (rimming because I don’t get to experience that nearly often enough) but unless I am just out of my mind horny, I can control my orgasm for very long periods of time.

Expectations can also have an effect on good or great sex. Great sex for me is often a surprise encounter; where as if I have been fantasying of an experience with someone and I finally get my chance, it can be a let down. There was this guy in college who was a friend of mine and had become a bit of a sexual legend in his own time. Well, I got my chance to bed him and was so disappointed; it was a down right awkward experience. I am sure if we had tried it again it would have been better, but who knows.

Some would call it chemistry; I say it is matter of guessing the correct buttons to push. Every time I get a new client on the table for a sensual massage I have a lot of choices to make as to what I think will really turn them on. Fortunately I have an hour or more of touching their body to help me figure it out. Who takes that amount of time in a first sexual experience? Maybe we all should. When two people have sex for the first time their can be a lot of trial and error. Sometimes you guess right, sometimes you guess wrong. When both are guessing right it can be great, if both guess wrong, well then it is only good. Actually this can happen with a partner you have been with for years as well, hopefully after a number of years they will be open and honest enough to verbally tell you when you are off the mark (and yes, the buttons can change on daily basis).

So what is the point of this post? None really. People can learn to be better at sex if there is a patient teacher but even pros can have an off day and the best sex is when both people are really into doing what pleases the other and happen to get off on those activities as well. Here’s hoping that you will find some great sex soon.

Choices

Ok, so the other day I had two of my favorite clients on the same day. This is truly an unusual occurrence. What makes a favorite client? Well, usually I would say their attitude and energy. However, while I am an equal opportunity bodyworker who will share a lot of myself with a lot of different types, I can still have a “type” that tickles my fancy more than any other. For example, someone within a few years of my age, tall, well proportioned, with an amazing ass that just happens to be a bottom will really make my job enjoyable.

So anyway, the first that came my way is a very sensual young man who likes a combination Deep Tissue and Sensual massage session. He usually likes a lot of anal work as well. Today however, he was not in the mood for anal, he still wanted a good sensual massage and he likes to see me naked so it was still fun.

So later in the day when James walked in, I was very happy. He is another who fits my perfect type. The kind of guy who makes me forget that I am doing this for money. Again, I like almost all of my clients, but I am not immune to something truly special. James comes to me looking for a massage and looking for some release. He has a great body, pretty face and is all bottom. Any time I get even close to his bubble butt he starts moaning and wriggling. When I start with prostate massage, he is nearly out of control, grabbing on to the table for dear life. He also has this lovely habit of lifting his torso every so often which only accentuates his butt.

It is extremely rare that I loose my self control with a client. There is the definite line that I draw, I can have fun as long as the client has a lot more fun, keep the focus on the client. I suddenly found myself walking all over that line with James. I wanted nothing more than to climb on the table and ravish his ass. This is a huge deal since I don’t go there with clients and as all bodyworkers know, the quickest way to loose a client is to have sex with him. This was not about love, it was all about lust, in fact I barely know James. He wanted a cock up his ass I wanted to give it to him. Two choices needed to be made right then, even though I was only thinking of one. I had to choose whether I was willing to cross that line and would it be worth it? In the heat of the moment, I was. With two fingers already up his ass and James moaning and thrashing on the table I lean down and ask “Do you want the real thing?”

Here is where the second choice came up… he replied “Oh god I want it, but, (long pause) I made a promise to my partner that I wouldn’t do that with anyone else.” Wow, I forgot that he had a choice, I mean I asked him but I thought at that time it was just a courtesy. I could deal with my commitments to my partner, I could deal with taking James, but there was nothing I could about his partner, whom I was not even aware of. So I came back to reality and said “of course, we will continue as normal.” I gave him a good prostate massage and then had him turn over and worked my way back down to his beautiful member and finished him off with three fingers in his ass and one hand on his dick.

Frustrating? Sure, a little, but only because I went someplace mentally that I should not have gone in the first place. I lost perspective of the distance that I need to keep as a professional.

We all have choices to make. Will we honor our vows? Will we honor our personal convictions? Will we throw ourselves into the passion of the moment? Most importantly, will we honor the choices of those around us at any given moment? As it turns out, I am very happy that we made the decisions we did. I found out later that I actually sort of know his partner. He is one of my favorite waiters, always friendly, remembers my drink orders, very attentive without ever interrupting, and always just a tad flirtatious. That reminds me, I need to go out to eat very soon…

It’s Happening All Over

I deal with married men who like to have sex with other man on a daily basis. It is just a part of my life these days.

I just got a call from a female friend of mine. Actually she is a friend of a friend, someone that I probably do not have a lot in common with. She is however fascinated by my willingness to discuss anything sexual and with my extensive knowledge of all sorts sexual things from BDSM to Swinging to WS to Bisexuality to what have you. What can I tell you, sex fascinates me.

Anyway, once we caught up on pleasantries and the little gossip that we have in common, she starts telling me why she is really calling. She has had her second lesbian experience. Not exactly what you expect to hear from a very pretty married mother of two. I have only met her husband once and then extremely briefly since he is incredibly homo-phobic, not my word, but her’s. She believes it is because he can’t accept his own latent homosexuality, apparently he had a weird experience in High School with one of his teachers who sucked his dick once (while this never happened to me, apparently it did happen repeated at my high school while I was there and for years afterward). Anyway, they have a rather unique relationship, at least I thought they did, but perhaps this really is the norm.

A few years ago, the husband whom we will start calling Mike for purposes of this tale, had a randy experience at his high school reunion, a blow job in the parking lot from the girl that got away. He felt terribly guilty and told his wife whom we will start calling Patty. She was angry, not because of what he’d done, after all blow jobs are some people’s way of saying hello, no Patty was angry because he told her. You see, this made it something that she had to deal with. If he had kept his big mouth shut and since this was a one time thing, life would have gone on “normally,” but with knowledge comes consequences. Her solution was to inform him that she would have an affair and they would be even, he would not get to know who or when, only that someday she would tell him that she had gotten even.

I would have assumed that Patty was the kind of girl who would have been satisfied with driving her husband crazy and never actually act on the threat. She is smart, pretty, successful and in the prime of her life with nothing to prove. She did however have an affair with a long lost flame, for quite a while. It was hot, sexy and fun. They were both married with no desire to end their relationships so it was safe. She only called it off when the long lost flame starting getting “attached” and wanting more. Patty was furious that he had to ruin a good thing.

So anyway, Patty and Mike are better and decide to have a couple of kids. Patty tells Mike that she has always been a little curious about a “same sex” thing. Being a red blooded “straight” American male, he thinks this sounds hot.

They decide to go to a club together and Patty sees a girl that trips her trigger and they start making out on the dance floor. Mike gets a bit uncomfortable watching so Patty takes the girl to the bathroom and “does the deed.” All of this happens before I have even met Patty, or at least gotten to know her in any personal way.

A couple of more years pass and Patty and I are talking and she is asking about homosexuality, her husband, etc. and I explain about the sliding scale where some people are only interested in same sex to the other end where a person is only interested in opposite sex relationships and that most people are somewhere in the middle and where they are can even change on a day to day basis. Well, this got her quite excited. We talk about a lot of the choices that the local area has as far as clubs and venues for meeting like minded people for everything from swinging, bisexuality, to some good old fashion S and M.

A few months pass and I meet up for drinks with Patty again. This is when she tells me about Mike and Patty’s best friends, a couple around their same age that they hang with. While their relationship has been pretty normal, Patty says that she and Rose will occasionally play little silly games in front of their respective hubbies, like lifting their shirts and rubbing their boobs together. I laugh imagining two straight men pulling their shorts down and rubbing their penis together, I mean it would just never happen, right? Of course they do like to pat each other asses, and bump chests and wrestle, hmmm. Anyway, Rose and her husband invite Patty and Mike over, Mike isn’t feeling well so Patty goes alone. There is a lot of drinking and a couple of their neighbors drop in and join in the drinking. So Patty and Rose are drinking and go out to the garage with one of the male neighbors and start playing around and one thing leads to another and the girls go all the way in front of the neighbor. Now, before you say, this sort of thing never happens I will argue that the first time I saw other people having sex in front of me was in college, saw it twice, both times were straight couples. I have seen people have sex several times since, but usually it was just a few gay men saying “Hello.” So at this time I thinking “Oh you silly straight people.”

Then I hear the rest of the story that blows me away. They tell their spouses. Rose runs off and tells her hubby who is apparently very cool with it and was extremely upset that he did not get to watch. Patty goes and tells Mike the whole thing including the neighbor watching and Rose’s husband reaction. Mike is not quite as optimistic as Rose’s husband, but there was little for him to say or do. She was honest. He had let her do it once before, so a precedent had been set. There were witnesses. It was with someone he knew and had seen her be “playful” with before. Everyone else had been cool with it, so if he wasn’t it would make him seem un-cool. He apparently is not the kind of guy who would put his foot down and say this is unacceptable. So there you have it, Patty has set up a situation where she is apparently free to no strings attached lesbian sex. Who knows, maybe this will get Mike over his fears and try some man on man sex again.

Another Good Week

Another good week (thank god). I was busy but not to the point of exhaustion. I had some really good clients and only one or two slightly annoying ones. I had a few new clients that seemed very happy.

One of the high-lights was the $60 tip that I got for giving a newbie his first prostate massage. He was in his mid-forties and was trying out the whole man to man thing. To be honest, I hear this a lot, so much so that I often don’t believe it. It is a fantasy that a lot of gay men play, to pretend to be straight and just experimenting. Just like it is the fantasy of a lot of gay men to convert a straight guy.

This one I believed. He did not tell me until the massage was over, but there were several little things that gave him away. First off there was the mullet hair cut combined with the half inch of carefully trimmed beard. He was tall, thin but definitely toned but not a gym body but the body of someone who has worked hard and not always eaten enough. The body of a man who has smoked, drank and partied hard more than once but not revived with daily moisturizers.

When he came in, I started with the usual questions about any aches or pains etc and he strips naked while chatting. This is also a bit unusual. Not that all gay men wait until I leave the room to strip, but the vast majority do, especially the underwear. He was also sporting a semi woody. Not that this has never happened, but it is again pretty rare, especially among those that strip naked in front of me. Besides the beard neatly trimmed to that odd ½ inch length, there was no other body grooming, again quite rare among gay men. I notice all this and the fact that his body is slightly crooked. He is giving me the details of the injuries that he has had in his life breaking horses and working rodeos. He does have the injuries and his legs are bowed. He reminds me a great deal of one of my other very straight clients, the hair cut, the beard, lack of manscaping, and general lack of modesty.

He gets on the table and I go to work on his shoulders and back, I remain clothed as I do with all new clients. I notice that one side literally has a hump and one shoulder is a good 3 inches higher than the other. I ask him if he has had this looked at and he replies that is the shoulder he usually lands on when thrown from a horse and where he has broken the most bones. As I work into some deep tissue he tells me that this is already the best massage he has ever gotten. He is a good client in that he is not fighting me or trying to help but rather just relaxing and letting me do the work. He does not pull away when my leg meets with his hand, neither does he try to reach for more. He is verbal when he likes what I am doing and occasionally moaning appreciatively. He remains relaxed when I work the lower-back/upper-glute area, no tensing up or table grinding.

I finish with light strokes on the back and then head to the feet to work my way back up. He allows me to manipulate his legs as I see fit, including leaving them spread rather wide. I hear more compliments on my techniques as I work the back of his legs. There is no reaction at all when my fingers graze first his scrotum and later his anus, he does not tense up, moan, or grind the table. I am assuming at this time that he came for a sensual massage, but this has not been discussed. He is not resisting nor is not asking for more verbally or through body language. I go for broke and do the under the leg move. This move involves one hand sliding under a hip from the outside to between the man’s legs where it meets the other hand that slides back with it effectively rubbing the inside of the crotch narrowly missing the penis but may or may not graze the scrotum usually causing a pretty intense erotic sensation. He is appreciative spreading his legs slightly farther apart. I work my way up the other leg and repeat all the moves.

I now work his glutes very hard, legitimately they are very tight. Just before I switch from one glute to the other, I work the fleshiness of his butt crack only lightly touching the anus. The legs are spread a little further apart. This is the time that almost all clients will try to rub my crotch since it is right at table height next to their hand. Normally their hand will first twitch, then the fingers reach out and slowly the hand will inch to the very edge of the table trying to make contact. This gentleman’s hand and fingers do not move at all, not even a twitch.

I do the end connecting full body strokes and again lightly tease his twitching anus. His penis is not showing so he is lying on it sandwiched under his belly but he is not grinding it into the table.

Time to roll over, I offer him water. He definitely has a full erection. He drinks the water greedily and lies down on his back. I start working on his chest with some deep strokes then switching to lighter as I work across his nips, they do not appear to be all that sensitive. I move to work on his abs, working in circles, his penis is still very hard and of course my hands are constantly bumping it as it lying on his stomach. His hands and fingers are still at his sides and show no intention of moving. I start stoking the penis and his balls and hips move instinctively up and down.

At this point I would like to remind everyone of the truth that once was spoken to my by a master of massage, “most men like some anal play, married men love it!” Though there is no ring on his finger, I have assumed he is indeed a straight man who is experimenting so I let a lubed finger slip down and rub gently on the exterior of his anus. Slowly the finger works a little harder until it starts to slowly slide in. I back off immediately and apply more lube and go back to work, this time the finger slides in quite quickly and starts exploring. Finding the prostate it starts a gentle, rhythmic stroke. He let’s out a moan.

“Oh man, is that like a prostate massage? Oh god that is great!” I assure him that it is indeed a prostate massage. I place my other hand on his penis again and he is gone in seconds. It’s over. I withdraw my finger slowly and release his penis. He is sensitive so I am very careful as I clean up the mess he made on his stomach, chest and neck. He is spent.

I finish the massage stretching his legs and rubbing down his arms. I spend some time on his neck and face and finish with the full body light strokes and the chakra blessing. He lies naked and unashamed. I cover him with a towel as I go to wash my hands. I return and ask if there was anything he needed or if I missed any spots. He is fine and tells me that he is very inexperienced with this sort of thing but he will definitely be back. The best massage he ever got. He dresses and leaves his money on the table and shakes my hand.

Once he is gone, I start cleaning up the linens and pick up the cash. $60 tip, how very sweet, he liked his first prostate massage. I hope he will be back. I hope he continues to look for what makes him happy. That is what the Dalai Lama says in the purpose of life, just to be happy.