Dating a Masseur?

I received the following email and also got his permission to share our conversation with all of you. The names have all been changed.

Hi Jack,

First and foremost, I love your blog, you are a very skilled writer and masseur from what I read ;) I've been looking in the web for a few days now trying to get some "answers" and your site just hit home.

If you don't mind, I would like to share a recent experience with hopes of obtaining your perspective, as someone who performs sensual bodywork, and perhaps gain some peace of mind of my own.

I'm fairly new to sensual/erotic massages (started this year). My first few times were great and limited to just mutual touching, and/or happy ending. After months of curiosity and as recent as this month, I started experimenting with new masseurs in my area, to my surprise some of the sessions have gone beyond the mutual touching and into oral and rimming etc.

My dilemma comes from this one masseur, tall, blonde, fit, eastern European decent, totally my type, claims to be straight. Throughout the session he was very nice, he kept complimenting me, at first it seemed like he was telling me what I wanted to hear but then again, he was pointing out things others had complimented me on before. Overall a very nice guy, though out the end of the session he let me give him a BJ and after we finished he offered to jump in the shower with me, as we are done chatting and washing off our oil, he looks into my eyes gets close to me and we start making out, I asked if he wanted to cum but he said that he had masturbated already, we both get out of the shower, we dress, we chat a bit more and before he leaves, he leaned over to me and made out with me again, then left. He left me thinking there for a bit after he left..

Come the following week, I schedule another appointment, he wont on with his massage, when he asked me turn over,  I pulled him close to me, we start a deep passionate kissing session, this time he also let me rim him and instead of releasing in bed, we just went to the shower to finish off.. This time while he was trying to cum he just held me tight as we continued to make out, it was hot and intense, and the same, as we got dressed he told me that one of these days he was going to pick me up and go out for drinks (he had mentioned that in the first session), he then kissed me goodbye and left. He later sent me a text, which led to us making arrangements to meet up casually later in the week.

The day off, he seemed to be backed up with work, still he took the time to come and meet, it was a bit awkward, there seemed to be a lot in his head and his phone was non-stop with texts, so we just kept conversation general, can't deny I flirted a bit, then we each went our ways, he said he would be in touch but haven’t heard back.

I've had nice repeat hot sessions with other masseurs, and they've also complimented me but they also kept it cool afterwards. No text backs, no social invites and no kissing.

So I'm not sure if he was just playing me into more sessions/creating client "rapport" or if there was a true spark from his side.. and this is where I'm needing another perspective

It's way too soon to be thinking about stuff, its only been 2 sessions, but would love to explore if there is something more..

I feel silly as in my mid 30s, not in high school, and I guess I should know better, but I just cant stop thinking about him!

Thoughts?

p.s. Thank you in advance and apologies for the long email.

I responded back with:

Dear Adam,

I think the big question here is what are you hoping for? Free sex? Dating? A relationship?

Most sensual workers have to deal with very old men all day long. We are always happy to have someone that we could actually be attracted to. It makes our job easier, even enjoyable. We will always treat such clients better because we like them. Personally, I have never gone on a date with a client because I am not looking to date, I have a partner. I have gone out to lunch with a client (he paid) after a session because he really wanted to talk about the session and his life. I did this only once since we have to be careful of clients getting too attached. 

So, are you getting played? Is he just trying to keep a good client? Maybe. He might actually like you. But, remember he has a job to do and bills to pay. So don't expect him to give up his "job" for you. 

If you are just wondering if he will have anal sex with you, sure! If that's his thing.

So what are you wanting out of this?

To which he responds:

Dear Jack,

Quite frankly, I think I was longing for that physical desire/connection and he just happen to push the right buttons. Is too early for me to think relationship, perhaps friends with benefits, he did mention he was straight, but who knows.. I tend to have no expectations as those usually lead to attachment/disappointment. So I guess In the meantime, I'll enjoy the moment, keep things professional and if something happens then great..

What I know for sure, is that I needed to get this off my chest in order to ground myself, get him out of my head (or at least not have him there as often) and move on.

I truly Thank you for taking the time to read and answer my email and in a non-judgmental way, It's definitely something I cant easily talk with anyone else.

Hope you are having great rest of your day and looking forward to more of your posts! ;)

To which I responded:

No problem Adam,

He may claim to be straight, but I doubt it. He is either saying to attract more customers or he is lying to himself.

Friends with benefits may happen, but realize he would be losing money if he loses you as a client. It has happened the masseurs will date a client, but it is rare.

Anyway, I am glad that I could help and I hope you remember to keep me posted. 

And about 30 days later he did:

Hi Jack,

It's been a while, wanted to give you an update on my situation and my observations, and I apologize upfront as I certainly don't want to nag you with my stories.

I have continued having sessions with him ever since we last talked, each session continues to be intense: kissing, oral, mutual orgasms etc.

Aside from the sexual stuff though, I am starting to notice that I also simply enjoy spending time with him, he's witty, we share some good laughs, stories about our families and I feel as we have a great connection, he always leaves me feeling great. I wish the time I spend with him would never end but unfortunately it seems to be limited to just a couple of hours a month. He always talks about us going clubbing or working out together but aside from that other time we went out, we really don't communicate in between sessions, there's maybe a small catch up chat when I contact him for an appointment but that's about it, which is perhaps a good idea, based on what I've read about client/therapist boundaries.

To add to my frustration, I learned from social media (I found him online :-)) that he's been going out with this girl! He had talked briefly about her a couple of sessions ago, but it didn't seem as something serious, however social media seems to indicate otherwise, although it looked as if it's one side sided from her, (could be my wishful thinking kicking in) plus, I'm pretty sure she doesn't know about his gig. Either way, can't deny it stung a bit seeing them together.

From what I'm telling you today, does it sound like another case of transference? Here I am speaking about of his relationship with this girl being one sided, yet I wonder if all these feelings I'm having are a result of me reading too much into his actions when in fact I'm just another day at his "job".

I replied:

Dear Adam,

Yes, it does sound like a case of transference. You are seeing what you want to see. He could easily be very much in love with this woman and marry her someday. That has little to do with your relationship with him. Whether he is just being nice to keep a good client or whether he genuinely likes you or more has little to do with his feelings for this woman. Just realize that he most likely will never leave her for you, that almost never happens. ;-)

He responded:

I wish there could be more of this out there on which people could share and discuss these types of experiences without the LMTs getting all worked up and judgmental about it.

As far as your advice, I concur, woman/man, it's not my intent for him to leave anyone for me (still bummer for me), however I now know better to at least hold-off on making any moves. I'm fairly new to sensual/erotic work, so my feelings may be more common than what I think.

Anyway, I literally just finished a session with him this afternoon and all I got to say is, if he's not feeling anything whatsoever towards me, then he's one hell of an actor!

Thanks again,
- Adam

About a week later I received this from him: 

To buy or not to buy, that is the question..

I typically have tons of candles around my place when he comes, a while ago he had mentioned he really liked one of them. I'm going home the Holidays, and I'm thinking of getting him one, for our last session of the year, its a tad pricey. What do you think? Is it tacky/creepy/clingy? I wonder if other clients also feel this way.. lol

p.s. I share my feelings with you, but I haven't mentioned any of this to him of course, up to this point, I've kept things professional in between sessions, I think, not sure if he knows how I feel.. don't want to make a fool of myself.. 

- Adam

My response: 

Hey Adam,

Many of my regular clients give me something around the Holidays. Generally, it is an extra large tip, but other gifts I have received are collectable Christmas ornaments, bottles of wine or other alcohols that they noticed on my bar, live plants and the like. It is better to give an early gift than to come back from vacation with something you bought while you were away because you were thinking of him, that starts getting creepy. Just relax and have fun with the situation, however, keep your eyes open for the real man of your dreams, one who is not taken or "straight."

He replies:

That's valid point, I did think about bringing him something :-p, but I'll just go ahead and get him the early gift instead. You are so right about the relaxing part, I need to remind myself to do that, I'm usually good at keeping things NSA or not even consider "straight" guys, but then there's always that one person/exception to the rule that gets to you.. sigh..

I appreciate you getting back to me, hope your day is going well

About 10 days later I received:

Dear Jack,

I know that you advised me to just relax and enjoy the situation, and to a certain extent I am, however as each session progresses, the feelings of taking things a step further grow, next step being perhaps hanging out socially.

First, there's not much of an age difference between us, we both have pretty active social lives, like similar music and attend similar places (I go to gay bars but tend to hangout more in the straight scene also).

Second, there's been a couple of things he's said and done that lead me to believe there's a mutual interest there but I've taken them with a grain of salt due to the nature of his job and/or because he never seems to follow through in between sessions:

• Constantly bringing up us going for a drink or him picking me up at the gym - he hasn’t followed through on this one as of yet.
• During one of our latest conversations, as we cuddled, we discovered we had a bar in common, which he followed by a “Well.. that’s where we met right?” - I took this as him trying to come up with a story for if we ever hang out together, don’t know
• He has foreign phrase tattooed on one his arm, when I asked him what it meant, he said "Adam is my favorite client" - cliche I know and I rolled my eyes but still thought it was cute ;)
• He also mentioned that if he ever has sex (intercourse) with a man, he would like for me to be the one - also cliche, won't hold my breath but still included it here
• Now the one that threw me of was that during the last session, he mentioned that his roommate was gonna be out for the weekend and that if I wanted, I could come over to his place for a visit, I told him I would let him know  - This one I figured was a bit more elaborate, why would you go through all that hassle of having to deal with someone and offering such a thing if you weren’t interested
• That same day, late evening he sent me a picture of him, just because
• A couple of days later, I sent him good morning text, he actually followed through, we had a nice exchange for a couple of hours, totally unexpected

I'm not sure if I should just sent him a follow up on his offer to meet him as his place, what do you think?

- Adam

My advice:

Adam, 

Sure, if you are interested and he is interested why not have a meet up at his place. You trust him. See if he follows up with it. Still, don't expect love, but friendship and sex may be on the table. If however he does not follow up with any of it, you will have to decide whether you want to continue with things as they are or not. Hope that helps. 
- Jack

Jack,

It does, I guess the point is to go with it and if nothing happens I'll have my answer. 

But the do the things I've mentioned below sound like typical "sales" techniques? Like you personally wouldn't do some of these things with your clients, right?

thanks for responding Jack

- Adam

Dear Adam, 

I would never go that far, quite the contrary, I make it very clear that it is a provider/client relationship. Especially when asked by a client to spend time together outside of massage, I answer that I am flattered, but I keep my personal and professional life very separate. If he is willing to spend a fair amount of time with you, without getting paid for it, then it is legitimate friendship (and who know, maybe more). Always be wary of those that say they are straight, they may have issues that you can not help them with. 
- Jack

Jack,

Yep, Im trying to be extremely careful because of that, I certainly dont wanna get hurt, but I do like him a lot!

He just responded that he wont be able to meet tonight, so I'm not going to make any further efforts and let him make the next move if he's interested..

Adam, 

Let him know that you are available (if you are) for the rest of the weekend and if he wants to get together with you, he just needs to let you know. In other words, make it clear the ball is in his court. 

Jack,

I'm guessing by now, he should have a pretty decent idea that I want to hang out, so if he really wanted to meet, I would expect for him to ask for my availability some other day.. 

- Adam

Dear Adam,

You are most likely correct. It seems that he has a very active social life, between working at massage, having a girlfriend, a roommate and other friends he hangs with. No point in sitting around waiting for him to call, best get out there and have some fun! Best of luck Adam!

Jack,

That's the other thing, he seems to always be available whenever I want a massage, not sure how he does it, he only does out calls, so he drives all over town/burbs.. but you're absolutely right, I'm definitely not sitting around, just a bit frustrated :-/

Thanks for keeping up with me Jack.

So people who read all the way through this, what do you think of the situation that Adam is in? Have you had similar situations? How did they end?  What advice would you have given? What jumps out at you in this exchange? Keep in mind, Adam is a regular reader and will see your responses. Thanks! 

- Jack

Hot time, with a young priest

In my line of business, we meet all types of people and that is really cool. However, we have to be careful since there are a lot of freaks in the world as well, which is why, when I get a request from someone new, I tend to do at least cursory search on any info I have on them. Depending on the means of contact, I can do a quick search on line to see if any flags go up. The biggest flag of all is if nothing shows up at all, that makes me worry. Some guys in the business keep on line lists of bad clients information that remain free and searchable so other workers can avoid them. The best search results show something personal about the client which usually means they have nothing to hide, like if I find a Facebook listing for them or a Linkedin listing, anything that lets me know just a smidgen of who they are. I get the use of fake names and blocked numbers and anonymous email addresses, you don't want to be blackmailed and are scared. Put yourself in my shoes though and you realize that I have a lot more to be worried about than you.
So, the other day I get a call from a new number and a guy wants to set up an appointment for later that afternoon, the time is available so I set up the appointment and give him my info. I then check the phone number quickly on the net and it looks like it belongs to a priest. Now this is not the first time this has happened and I am sure it will not be the last that I get someone from the clergy. Past experience says that there is a 50/50 chance he won't actually show and if he does, he will be over 60.
When the time arrives, he is a minute or two late, but he showed! I open the door and try to hide my surprise. Standing before me is a very attractive man in his mid-30's, reddish hair, 6', slim, well dressed in black slacks and a button down shirt (no priest collar).
He tells me name is Trent. I welcome him and show him to the room, do the usual check in with possible aches and pains and places he may not want touched, everything seems fine. He seems friendly, a little nervous and not overly chatty. I let him know that he should undress and lay face down on the table and hold up the towel that he can use to cover himself if he so desires. I leave the room to wash my hands and to give him time to undress. When I enter again, he lying on his stomach, uncovered. His skin is extremely pale, his legs are very hairy, almost satyr like. His ass is round and plump. He is indeed quite thin, but his legs are well defined. I check to make sure he is comfortable and then go to work on his shoulders (I remain clothed as I do for all new clients). His shoulders are tight and I drape his arm over my leg as I sit on the edge of the table to lift the shoulder blade and out me in a better position to work the trapezius muscle. His hand finds itself next to my calf muscle and his fingers slowly start stroking my leg is soft little circles. I switch sides and there is a repeat performance of the light stroking, nothing more, just soft little circles.
I get up to work the rest of his back, there are not a lot of issues so the strokes are more long and flowing than and deep tissue work,  I think that I hear the occasional soft moan, but it is so soft, I am not sure. I finish the back with a very light touch with just my finger tips. His glutes become covered with goose flesh, his back arches slightly, possibly another of those soft moans is heard.
I move to his feet and start working my way up to his ass. Those solid hairy legs require a bit deeper work, but he can take it. The hair on his legs stop about a 1/4 of the way up his very round ass, then they are completely smooth. A small bit of hair peeks from the crack. I start working his glutes with earnest and his hand is now next to my crotch, he ever so lightly explores the mound in my shorts with his fingers, finding the tip of my cock through the fabric and starts making lazy circles around it. I stroke up and down the crack of his ass, separating the cheeks and teasing his puckered hole, now his ass starts to rise and fall, as his hole begs for more attention. I switch sides and repeat the process, his hand becoming bolder and actually gripping my cock through the fabric. I lube up my thumb and center in on his hole, rubbing him with the lazy circles he seems so fond of, he raises his ass higher trying to impale himself on my thumb. I tease for a little longer then let him have it. Now a real moan escapes his lips as my thumb explores his inner most regions. I back off but only for a moment as I lubricate two fingers and slip them into his hole so very slowly, vibrating my hand as I do so. His hips start bucking back against my hand, forcing my fingers deeper inside, bouncing off his prostate. I slowly fuck him with my fingers while he moans appreciatively, my hand slides under his hips to find his throbbing cock. I play with it lightly until the pre-cum is leaking out in a slow steady stream.
Removing my fingers from his ass and cock, I give him a light rub down with a towel and light strokes along his entire backside with my finger tips before I tell him to turn over. I let him drink some water while I check out his stiff cock, it is not overly long but it is quite thick, nestled in a nest of neatly trimmed red pubes.It looks almost angry as it jerks and continues to leak pre-cum.
He lays down on his back and I move to his head to work his chest, accidentally grazing his head with my erection. He reaches back over his head and grabs my shorts, pulling them down, my cock springs up and hits him in the side of the face. He turns his head and reaches out with his tongue to taste my cock. I let him lick it for a bit before moving around so I can feed him the entire length. He takes it greedily down his throat, moaning as he does so. I slowly fuck his mouth for a time as he looks up at my face. I pull out, he says nothing but never takes his eyes off of me. Moving to the side of the table, I start massaging his cock. He moans and thrusts into the air. I play with his balls and he rolls his head from side to side, his hand has found my cock and is beating it frantically. I move my left hand down between his thighs and stick three fingers up his ass. He humps on them and it is all I can do to keep from jumping on the table and throwing his ankle up to his ears and fuck the living daylights out of him. But alas, I let frig my cock while I frig his while leaving him to hump my three fingers up his ass. He comes rather quickly after that.
Now that he has come, he is looking directly into my face again. I continue with the massage and stretches, but his eyes continue to follow me as I work. His hand will occasionally stroke my cock when it is near. When I finish, I ask him how he feels and if there are any places I missed. He states that when he has sex he doesn't want it to end until the both parties have come. I smile and say this is all about you, not me.
After he leaves, I look him up on line and finally find a picture of him in his Priest outfit. Next time....;-)
- Jack

Fame

Occasionally I get someone famous on my table, sometimes I recognize them easily, other times I don't. People can be famous for a lot of different things, though most people will immediately assume I mean someone on television or in the movies. While that has happened, it is not the norm. I have had famous authors whose names may be easily recognizable but their faces are not. I have had famous lawyers, activists, artists, politicians, actors, CEOs and even porn stars. They all have one thing in common, they want a good massage.
I have found that dealing with famous people, the best thing is to just ignore that they are famous. I would never bring it up to a client that I recognize them as a celebrity.  This is usually appreciated, especially in an intimate setting. Often times they have given me a fake name so I am buying into something they have set up. There has only been one occasion when I was asked "Don't you recognize me?" I replied with "No, should I?" They told me who they were and I said "That's nice. Now back to the session, is everything ok?"
There are times when a celebrity doesn't want to be a celebrity. When an actor can just be themselves and not the persona that has been created, or a politician can just be a guy enjoying a massage, or a porn star is not expected to perform for someone else. Guys on my table can spend 90 mins not acting like they think people expect them to and just relax.
But what goes through my head? Well, most of the time I spend a few minutes wondering "Is that really so an so?" and then I can focus on the job again. A few times I have been distracted with the idea of power over this powerful person. I have a lot of control in that sacred space. I can massage gently or vigorously, light or deep, I can allow or not mutual touch, I can be clothed or naked, I can give a legit or sensual massage, I can go farther if I want or not. All this is dependent on what the client wants, but once their intentions are known, everything else is my choice.
I think I have talked before about perhaps doing a much deeper tissue massage than what the client needs when hearing a client spout on about conservative politics. Have not done that often, but I have done it. Not proud of it, but I will be honest about it. There was also the time I was asked to fist one of the biggest CEO's in the country, a bit of a power trip there. And yes, there is a very special feeling when a porn star, who could have any guy he wants, asks if he can suck your dick. And you let him. And he pays you.
There are times, though not often, that I am giving a celeb a massage that is perfectly legit, but my mind is constantly saying "I could so fuck this guy, man what a great story that would make!" I of course would not actually tell anyone if I did, much less even say that they were on my table. I usually have to remind myself to just give the massage and focus on that, otherwise my work will be terrible and they will never come back.
Sorry, no lurid tales here of specific acts or body parts. Some powerful guys have huge dicks, some do not. Some want to be in control, some do not. Some are tops, some are bottoms. They just want a good massage, some with release, some without.
- Jack

Question from reader

Sorry I have not written in a while, I like to write when I have something to say, I try to stay silent when I don't. So a question from a reader:

Hi Jack,
I love your blog, thanks for putting so much time into it!

I'm writing because I have a question for you, but let me give some background first. I'm a fit bi guy in my early 30s and have seen this particular massage therapist several times. He's probably in his early 60s, also fit, and works out of a private studio, very professional set up.

The first time I got a massage from him, we didn't really discuss much. I just wanted to relax. Of course he asked me all the usual questions about if I had any issues that needed to be worked on, then he asked me to get undressed and to lay down on the table face up, as he leaves the room to give me some privacy.

I've always prefer no drape but we didn't talk about it so I figured why not see what happens. I get undressed and laid on top of the table face up as he asked. When he returned I could hear the surprise in his voice, even though he was trying to downplay it. He said I could get under the sheet if I want but that it doesn't matter to him. So I said I prefer nothing covering me. And the massage began.

He gave a great massage, I happened to get aroused when he worked on my thighs but nothing was said. He bumped my penis with his forearms a few times, and then managed to sort of trap my penis between his forearms and stroke me with a twisting motion of his forearms until I came. Then he spent some time finishing the rest of the massage.

I paid and tipped well, and thanked him for a great massage.

The next time I saw him 6 weeks later, he apologized for what happened and said that he doesn't do that kind of thing. Which seemed odd to me because the forearm maneuver seemed pretty advanced. But I told him there's no need to apologize, I enjoy getting a massage regardless of any extras. Nothing less than professional happened during that session.

At my third appointment a month later, he gave me the original forearm treatment. And ever since then it has progressed to the point where he uses his hands and hardly waits a five minutes before going for my penis. Of course I enjoy it but I am only scheduling time with him for when I want something more stimulating with that extra attention, and I go to someone else for a more traditional relaxing massage. I'm not complaining though, it's nice.

My question though is that I want to see if he would be comfortable being nude. But every time he's fully dressed and it seems like he pulls away whenever I try to let my hand graze over his leg or his crotch. I'm not sure how to approach the subject since he has seemed less than comfortable from the beginning. And despite his pulling away, he seems like he can't keep his hands away from my penis.

It's a confusing situation, hopefully you can provide a point of view from the massage therapist side of the table. Is there a non-offensive way to ask a massage therapist to get undressed? Considering this situation or just in general? (In case I offend him and end up looking for someone new.)

Thanks,
Fan

My response:

Hey Fan,

 

Communication is key to any good relationship, including one with a therapist. Do you usually contact him by phone or email when setting up an appointment? Use that method to ask him if he would be willing to work nude, also let him know your intentions. I am assuming if you want him to work nude you also want mutual touch. Assure him that you will respect his choices and will continue to see him regardless, and mean it. 

 

Every masseur sets up their own personal boundaries. It sounds as if you have already gotten him to cross a couple, but there will be a limit. He may not like mutual touch because to him that feels too much like prostitution, or he has a significant other and it feels too much like cheating, or he has issues getting an erection. There could be many reasons, but you won't know unless you ask.

 

I am also concerned that you have chosen to go to someone else for non-erotic massage. This tells me you do have issues with communication. You should be able to tell your masseur what you want when you call or email, and they should respect that.

 

Just be polite, say please and thank you, let him choose his path of action, don't give him any ultimatums.

I wish you the best of luck.

- Jack

Let me know if any of you have similar experiences and how they turned out!

The importance of variety

So I work on a variety of men, all shapes sizes and ages (over 18). I know a lot of gay bodyworkers who won't or will do things to discourage some guys from showing up on their table. There is one who charges by the pound, others who will not offer erotic services to anyone they consider less than desirable, some set age limits or flat out state in their ads that only men of a certain age ranges and/or weight range are allowed since their massages are such that guys outside that range would not benefit their work or could even endanger them.
I work on just about anyone, especially if they have good energy. Hard to put that in an ad, but it's true. Karma often pays off well because of it.
Take for example Mark. He works at a local university and is a big gay guy. 450 lbs at least and not a bit of it muscle. He is probably in his late 40's and flaming. He is also very lonely. So when he showed up for an appointment and climbed the stairs and  was all out of breath and chatting a mile a minute I was pleased to give him the massage he needed. The only difference being that I didn't climb on top of the table with him to work on his back, I was pretty sure that the table wouldn't take it. He was very appreciative and though he didn't give me a big tip he did take a few of my cards and promised to give them out to people looking for a good massage. He promised to come back regularly but that turned out to be about once every three months.
However, he gave one of my cards to a co-worker, Gary the librarian. He called and set up an appointment and let me know that Mark was the one who had recommended me. So of course in my mind, limited as it is at times, I assumed at the very least, Gary would be on the larger side. When he showed up, you could have knocked me over with a feather. Gary was in his late 40's but he had a body to kill for. Not an ounce of body fat, except on his bubble but, definitely a life long body builder, beautiful face and perfect hair. Very responsive to my touch and very sensual. Total bottom and loved to touch me and my dick as much as I loved to touch him. This man should never wear clothes! He sees me about every three weeks and tips very well. I never would have him as a client if it were not for Mark's recommendation which I only got by treating him as well as I try to treat every customer. Good lesson for us all.

The young and first time

In a previous post I talked about the men of a certain (older) age that come to me for their first man to man experience. I also see a number of guys in their 20's and 30's who want their first experience with a guy to be at my hands.
Try to understand that words like gay and straight and bi sexual are all relatively unimportant to me as they are to a lot of my clients. Many of my clients see themselves as straight, but they just happen to like to suck cock or to have something shoved up their ass. I understand what they are saying. They are willing to separate the physical acts of sex from the emotional acts of love. They would never dream of "marrying" another man. They feel a kinship perhaps with other men, no love or strong emotional attachments, but hell yes the like the sex.
In today's world of acceptance, many young men are willing to try man to man sexual contact out of curiosity about the physical acts. There is no deep-seeded longing to find the man of their dreams. Emotionally these men still love women and sexually are primarily attracted to women, but are willing to experiment with man to man contact for fun. Perhaps the religious leaders were right all along, with greater acceptance of homosexuality soon everyone will be trying it. ;-)
Michael has become one of my regular clients. He is in his late 20's, married with two daughters, is a self described "blatino" with a good body and a charming smile. He loves his wife and has a very active sex life with her. He first came to me to get a 90 min "legit" massage, he was not shy or nervous, stripping nude and using a small towel for coverage. The first half hour of the massage went pretty normal, I worked on his back and his tense tired shoulders and then lower back and hips. He did get a bit of an erection and adjusted himself a bit, apologized and I assured him it was perfectly normal. He re-affirmed he was straight but he gets aroused easily, he came to me because he thought he wouldn't get so excited getting a massage as he does from a woman. I told him not to worry about it and I finished with light touches before moving down to his feet.
I work the legs one at a time from the feet up, he calmed down and was quite peaceful. He was starting to adjust for his erection again when I worked the outside lateral muscles on his legs up to his hips. As I worked the back of his right thigh he was definitely very aroused. He spoke up that maybe we needed to stop for a moment to let him cool down, I agreed and stepped back. He settled down after a few moments and said that he was OK. I went back to the back of the thigh and when I moved to the inner thigh he came. He apologized and was worried about the table and the sheet, I told him that was what laundry was for and I slipped a towel under him so he would not be lying in his cum. I went to work on the other leg and he was much better though he did start getting aroused when I worked the inner thigh again. I moved his towel so I could work on his right butt cheek and he exclaimed "oh god!" as he came again. I finished working the back of his body and asked him to turn over and changed out his towel. He did not bother with the drape this time.
I worked his chest and abs, his cock throbbing the entire time.  I worked his legs and and inner thighs his cock is dripping.  He has stopped apologizing by this time. He keeps his hands to himself and his eyes closed. Without asking, I grasp his cock and stroke it twice and he cums a third time.
Since then he has been back 4 times. He never bothered with draping again. He has discovered that he loves prostate massages, 3 fingers even. He has managed to cum three times during each session. He keeps his eyes open now and talks freely about how much he enjoys how I make him feel. He has never reached for me or my cock, but he does not withdraw if my body (or clothed cock) touches his hand.
There is still no doubt that Michael is straight and loves his wife and kids and always will. He will always have plenty of sex with women. He is an extremely sexual person who has discovered that he can get his rocks off with men as well. Will he ever learn to reciprocate? Most likely. It will just take the right person.

Older men First time

The majority of my clients are over 40, most probably over 50. I amazed how many men come to me for their first experience with another guy at these ages.
A Hispanic man who recently started seeing me is over 60 and has been married with kids, grand kids and great grand kids. After a heart attack scare a few years ago, he decided to do those things he has always wanted to do. Spend more time with his family, travel, and have sex with men. Our first time together started as a normal massage, he laid face down on the table and covered himself with a towel. I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt and was giving him a combination of Swedish and Deep Tissue. My leg was pressed against his hand at one point and at first he withdrew slightly but then returned the hand, slowly, touching me. He eventually started to slowly move his fingers against my leg. No more. No grabbing frantically or pulling at the material of my shorts, just gentle moving - almost a tickle. I moved on to work on his legs and I worked up toward his covered butt, he shifted slightly to make room for his erection. He did not remove the towel, so I folded it to cover on cheek at a time as I worked on his glutes.
When he turned over, his erection was obvious. Not a huge cock, but definitely standing at attention. I asked if he still wanted the towel, he said no. I worked on his chest and lay perfectly still, almost afraid to move. I worked on his stomach and he again let his fingers lightly touch my shorts. I asked if he wanted me to take care of his erection, he said yes and did not move. I jacked him off, he came very quickly. I cleaned him up and finished the massage. Afterwards, I said I hope that he got what he was looking for and if he had any questions, either now or later, feel free to ask, he tipped me well and left. Within 24 hrs he made an appointment for the following week.
The next appointment he didn't bother with the towel at all. He was a little more vocal and his hips moved a lot more when I got close to butt. I tickled his rose bud and he came. I finished the massage (putting a towel down over the wet spot) and he again tipped very well. The third appointment was two weeks late, we managed to get two fingers in his ass before he came. Two weeks after that he asked to touch my cock and he came immediately. He has been coming about every other week since then and has opened up about his life and how he has always craved m4m sex but never had the courage to try it and that he loves his wife and family and would not change any of those choices but wishes he started exploring his feelings ages ago, he never knew sex could be so satisfying. He asked if I would fuck him and I stated that was against the rules. He later told me that he finally hired a chick with a dick to fuck him since I wouldn't. He didn't want to hire another guy since he just couldn't trust another guy like he trusts me. Why he could trust a transgender is something I didn't ask. He loves dick in his mouth and up his ass (he brought a dildo I can use on him during our sessions).
This in a nutshell what I like about the work I do. It is helping people. I just wish the rest of the world could see that. - Jack