Massage used in seduction

Massage can be a very relaxing and often a very sensual experience. Have you ever felt that you were seduced into doing something you would not have ordinarily done, while receiving a massage?

When this question was posted to an on-line male massage site 32% of respondents replied that yes, they had done something they would not have ordinarily done as a result of receiving a massage.

This same group was also asked:

Was massage your first sensual experience with another man? 27% answered that: Yes, their first sensual experience with another man was a result of massage.

While asking an on-line group for men with interests in massage questions like these is a bit like shooting fish in a barrel, I was still surprised at the results. Less than half of this group label themselves as gay, the rest are mostly bi with a handful of straight and those who refused to be labeled.

Apparently, while receiving a massage, many men let down their defenses and can be rubbed into total submission. On some level I can relate to that, there was an experience I had where I was a client of a handsome very athletic masseur. Shortly after the massage started, the masseur offered to work in the nude for an extra $20. It was the first time that I had ever heard of someone charging extra for this, but he was cute, I was relaxed and his initial cost was pretty low, so I said OK. He was hung like a horse. So the massage continued in a quite a sensual manner (very low therapeutic skills, but once in a while, that is ok) and he is lying on my back with this huge sausage rubbing over my butt cheeks. He whispers into my ear “do you want it?”

Now I have mentioned before in this column that I am a total top, but in that moment, I was seriously ready to give bottoming the old college try to see if I could handle that monster. So I said “yeah, but it’s got to be safe, do you have condoms?”

He responds “Just kidding, I don’t do that with clients.” Talk about a tease! It could have been worse; he could have said “that will cost you an extra $100.” So in this case scenario, I was willing to try to take a monster penis that I would be hurting from for a week because I had been lulled there by a sensual massage.

So the next obvious thought is whether I have taken advantage of any men on my table? I guess that would depend on the point of view. I would of course say no. I have done nothing to a man on my table that he didn’t want me to do. Right? I only do what I think they want; the sessions are not about me, but about them. On the other hand, I am sure that straight guy whose prostate I rubbed for the first time ever may have another view. If ever I have gone too far, I hope my clients will forgive me. I know that most have, because they come back for more.

Things that I have learned

Wow, how time flies. Sorry that it has been a month since I posted. I have been working on a couple of ideas but have not liked the finished product.
However, I was writing up a list of things I have learned in life for a couple of graduations and thought I would share them here:

1. When I was a teen, my mother always said to me as I was leaving the house, “Keep your chin up, your mouth shut and your nose clean. And remember you’re a gentleman.” I took these words to mean:

• Keep your chin up – Have pride in yourself.
• Your mouth shut – Never speak with out thinking about what you are going to say and what the repercussions of your words may be.
• Your nose clean – Stay away from trouble.
• And remember you’re a gentleman – Good manners will always pay off.

2. Consequences – When faced with any decision, no matter how big or small, stop and think what the worst thing that could happen is and then decide if it is worthwhile doing.

3. The truth is always the best bet. Lying always makes things worse, and odds are you will get caught.

4. People will lie to you especially if they want something, I know that is hard to believe, but it’s true.

5. Beware of eloquent speakers; they often have something to hide.

6. If you want to know what kind of person someone is, watch how they treat their waiter.

7. You cannot choose your family, but they will always be there for you, unless you ignore them.

8. Friends are the family you can choose. Lots of people will say they are your friends, but real friends will help you move your furniture. To have good friends, you must be a good friend.

9. Relationships (romantic or otherwise) must be tended to; they are wonderful and rewarding but must be nurtured everyday. Ignore them and they will go away.

10. Every time you are in an argument, stop and try to see things from the other side, they may know something that you don’t.

11. Speaking quietly will force others to listen to you more closely.

12. Learn to be independent and to enjoy your own company. Once you like yourself and know who you are, you will have something worthwhile to share with others.

13. Don’t expect someone else to throw you a party, life is short, throw your own party.

14. To become really good at anything takes a lot of practice; anyone who says different, is lying.

15. If you believe that there is something that you cannot do, you have just made it so.

16. You accomplish in proportion to what you attempt; the more you attempt, the more you will accomplish.

17. If you can figure out how to make a living at something you like to do, you will never have to work a day in your life.

18. If you are doing a job just for the money, you will never feel you are being paid enough.

19. You are not going to win the lottery, so play it if you like, but know it is just in good fun.

20. Money does not buy you happiness, but it can get you out of a trouble.

21. Credit cards are evil and the high interest rates should be outlawed.

22. If you want to know the real problem with the world, follow the money trail.

23. Selflessly help others whenever possible. If karma does exist, you want it working for you, not against you.

24. If you are ever feeling bad about your life, volunteer your time to help those less fortunate, trust me, there are plenty of them out there.

25. Never say never, and be careful not to judge others. You just never know.

26. There are so many religions in the world and all are certain that they are the only true religion. They all have good and bad aspects, study as many as you can.

27. Television does have some interesting things to watch, but it is mainly a tool to keep you from living your life.

28. Read books. There are so many amazing stories.

29. Never stop learning, the more you learn, the more you realize how little you know and nobody likes a know it all. Age does not bring wisdom, living does.

30. Travel – the world is a huge and wondrous place filled with amazing people, don’t take my word for it, go out there and meet them. Seriously. Travel.

31. Never hate someone because you were told to.

32. Continue to exercise and eat well, you want to be able to enjoy the time you have on earth.

33. Life really is short. Time is relative, the longer you live the shorter each day is and the faster life will go by. That being said, as long as you are alive, it is never too late.

34. Never sit there a bitch, get off your butt and do something, then you have the right to bitch.

35. Stand up for what you believe in, if not you, then who? If not now, then when? But gather all the facts first and find out why others oppose your ideas.

36. Sometimes, bad things just happen for no reason. The true test of an adult is how they deal with them.

37. According to the Dali Lama, the purpose of life is to be happy. This is a choice.

38. There will always be times in your life that it feels like you are starting over from scratch. It’s OK, everyone has to do it. Just learn from your mistakes and forgive yourself.

39. Sometimes your elders do know more than you, sometimes they don’t. Listen to their advice; it comes from years of making mistakes.

40. Never throw something away that can be used by someone else. Find them and give it to them freely.

41. Share what you have learned with others, they may not listen, but at least you tried. Give a man a fish and he eats for a day, teach a man to fish and he will never go hungry.

42. Never follow the crowd with out deciding for yourself if that is the direction that you want to go in.

43. No one knows for certain what happens when you die, so make the most out of this life.

44. I have always liked the following:
Do not ask to have your life’s load lightened, but for the courage to endure. Do not ask for perfection in all you do, but for the wisdom not to repeat mistakes. Do not ask for fulfillment in all your life, but for the patience to accept frustration. Do not ask for more before saying thank-you for what you have already received. (by Brenda Short)

45. There are a lot of lonely people in the world just wanting to share their lives with someone.

46. Everyone has some sort of body issue.

47. The happiest people I know are nudists.

48. Everyone is a little bisexual.

49. You always want to be the second prettiest person in the bath house. Very few people will approach the prettiest thinking that they don't have a chance and no matter who they hook up with, they may feel they are tricking down.

50. Older or less attractive people can be really great at sex, conversely, really attractive people can be terrible at sex.

51. Everyone is somebody's type, it is just difficult to find the right match sometimes.

52. Midgets are proportional, dwarfs are not.

53. Penises come in all shapes and sizes but are all still pretty much the same and do the same things.

54. You can get an estimate to the size of a penis based on certain body parts (the first three fingers on the hand or relative size to the foot) but there are plenty of exceptions.

55. Write your own memoirs. If they seem boring, then you need to get to work.

Fall out

OK, so I post a piece written by a fellow bodyworker at his request and we both get the fall out.

The post is entitled Responsibility. Basically it says that each person is responsible for their own health and safety when having sexual relations of any kind at any time, including if your massage get sensual. Going to a professional bodyworker or masseur is no guarantee of safe sexual relation. Remember, that what ever you do with your bodyworker or masseur, he is probably doing with others.

I was deluged with emails from strangers and clients a like. There were a great many that thanked me for the posting. Then there were the rest… I was accused of having AIDS, Purposefully putting men at risk, murder and at least three regular clients have cancelled appointments and refuse to see me again in the future.

I asked the original author if he was having the same difficulties and he also has had a couple of clients cancel, but no name calling or the like.

I guess we can forget sometimes the attachment that our clients can form with us. We treat them with courtesy and respect; we pay attention to their wants and their needs for an hour or 90 mins. This is often far more than they get in their daily lives with their spouses or significant others. We treat them special and then we are surprised when they feel that they are special. We are often unaware how great the attachment is until something happens to the bond, like finding out we treat most of our clients the same way, and they feel hurt.

One client thought long and hard about the post and realized that everything also applied to him and his wife. She supposes that she is the only one that he is intimate with and has no idea (at least he believes she doesn’t) that he also has intimate relations with men. It made him feel a bit guilty, but he still came back for the sensual massage. Another client sited this same reason for not coming back, realizing that he was not being fare to his significant other.

What about me? How do I feel? Where is my mind at?

I love my partner. Since we have met, I have not loved another. I can get turned on in the moment by a sexy ass or a couple of words of flattery, but no attachments. There are a few clients that I am friendly with, I know about their family lives, their jobs and their vacations. A few that have opened up to me about emotional problems and I have listened patiently (off the clock) and offered what comfort and advice that I could. But stronger feelings? No. If I did not have a partner that I loved, maybe things would be different, but I doubt it. It is one of the reasons I do this for money. If I were giving away massages I might want something else in return. I have chosen what I want in return. The balance in my universe is OK. I can give my all in a massage for what I have asked, and expect nothing else in return. In return they can receive pleasure, peace, respect, and if they choose to believe, love and pay only the asking price, nothing more is expected of them.

I regret the loss of a good woman who deserved better

"DC madam" hangs herself in shed: Florida police

23 minutes ago

A woman who ran a prostitution ring catering to Washington's elite hanged herself in a storage shed at her mother's home in Florida on Thursday while awaiting sentencing, police said.

Police in the Gulf Coast town of Tarpon Springs said the 76-year-old mother of Deborah Jeane Palfrey woke from a short nap and began to search for her daughter. She found Palfrey's body hanging from a nylon rope looped around a metal beam in the shed alongside her mobile home, police said.

"Hand-written notes were found on scene that describe the victim's intention to take her life, and foul play does not appear to be involved," Capt. Jeffrey Young said in a statement.

Palfrey, 52, was found guilty last month of running an escort service that earned her at least $2 million. She had not yet been sentenced but media reports said could have faced up to 50 years in prison.

The scandal over the woman dubbed "the D.C. madam" ensnared Republican Sen. David Vitter of Louisiana, whose number was discovered in her telephone records.

Vitter apologized publicly for committing a "serious sin" in his past.

Palfrey had insisted her company, Pamela Martin and Associates, was a legal sexual fantasy business and initially considered selling her phone records to raise money for her defense. When she later released her phone records for free, they ended up shedding little further light on her clientele.

Her attorney, Montgomery Sibley, said he did not have any additional information about her death.

"My only comment is that I regret the loss of a good woman who deserved better," he said.

(Reporting by Robert Green; Additional reporting by Jeremy Pelofsky in Washington; Writing by Michael Christie; Editing by John O'Callaghan)

How to make your intentions known

not wanting to be rude to you nice men...

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Reply to: serv-503946798@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-12-09, 4:42PM EST
either you do it or you dont do it, right? that is the question, eh?? only how too get the answer?? do i email you? do i call you on the phone? do i go right out and ask for it, while i'm on the table? some or all of this could be considered so rude though, eh? what if you do it, but you want to feel comfortable with someone before you do, all of the above might get initial false negatives then, eh? so do i see you a few times then drop the "do give hj's bomb"? but i like you so much and enjoy your amazing massages, i dont want to mess up a good thing, do i?? do you give me any clues? you give me a little grin when your sheets or little towel starts moving, hmmm.., you say will that be all making eye contact with the moving towel? you start cracking up when the towel falls on the floor? or am i just misreading your intentions!!??! oh life can be just so confusing sometimes!

I found this on Craigslist. I love Craigslist. You can find anything.

So how do you find out if your therapist does a little extra? First off, realize that unless they advertise in an erotic section of advertising, they probably won’t say much over the phone or on email, remember, doing erotic or even sensual massage is illegal almost everywhere. Not only is there the police to worry about, but the local massage licensing board can revoke one’s license and levy some very heavy fines. So, starting with ad, there are some key words used in the trade, such as draping optional (where allowed by law), anytime a therapist only works on one gender, the word “release”, in some places in the country “full body”, in others it may be “completely satisfied”, if the ad gives the stats of the provider or uses terms to define their looks such as handsome, sexy, or fit. You get the idea. These are terms used to excite the customer into believing that this massage provides a little extra. They do not guarantee something extra. I know many workers who will only do sensual or erotic work on clients they find attractive but still use these terms to boost their client list, however, they are still a good indication that an erotic or sensual massage is at least a possibility. An ad that show a half naked photo of the therapist is also a good indication, but again, not fool proof.

The price is also an indication, though not always. Typically, if a therapist is charging 20% above the average going rate, they probably offer something extra, especially if they work out of their home. Spas are usually above average market price but almost never offer any extras. The most expensive are the rub and tug people who do not really massage but just use it as a front for prostitution clients.

Recommendations are always good way to go. Ask around anonymously on the web; be specific about what you want. Get more than one response. The problem with the web is that it is a great place for petty people to take out their aggressions. Say for example they wanted an erotic massage from someone and did not get it, when they see someone asking for an erotic massage, they may use it as an opportunity to send a pervert to them, sad but true.

When you talk to them on the phone, do they emphasize non-sexual? Do they talk on about medical terms and fancy techniques? These are probably truly non sexual.

Some styles that would indicate something more would be Tantric or Body Electric or in some cases Esalon. If prostate massage is offered or full body scrubs, these could also be signs that extra are being done.

Ask if draping is optional, if it is, the odds that it is a sensual or erotic massage go up.

If you are on the table, be somewhat vocal when touched in a way that you like and when you are touched where you like. If the masseur is close enough to the table that your hand is touching their leg, don't grab of poke or dig but ever so gently stroke lightly with a finger. Spreading your legs as far apart as possible is a good sign as well as arching the back slightly. Keep it all coming from a place of relaxation and enjoyment.

Personally, I believe the best approach is not to worry about it. Assume that the massage is not going to be sensual or erotic and just be pleasantly surprised if it is.

Spirituality

I am not a big believer in organized religions. I was raised very religious, even more so than my parents. I was the youngest of five boys born in a very rural part of Wisconsin. My parents were also raised in rural settings where religion was common but churches were rare and most people would read from the bible and sing hymns at home, at least on the holidays. While they were both raised Christian, neither was raised with a particular denomination. As adults, as they each searched for the right church for them, it was usually based on the rapport with a particular preacher. Somehow the ended up being Wisconsin Synod Lutherans, which is a particularly conservative branch, women couldn’t be full members of the church, vote, but were expected to donate money and time in support of the church.

When I was approaching 3^rd grade, the church opened up a grade school in the church basement. A literal one room school with grades 1-5, my parents helped start the school so of course I was enrolled; my brothers were all too old. I believe there was a total of 20 students that first year and just one teacher. The school grades were extended each year until it taught Kindergarten through 8^th grade and eventually had three teachers.

We started each day with an hour of devotion, a bible story, sing a hymn, go over some memorization, and ask some questions. You see, being a Lutheran grade school, we were taught about how this man Martin Luther had the courage to question his own religion. So we were free to ask a lot of questions of this poor sweet man, our teacher, who tried his best to answer. I heard that about 10 years later he left the church; I would like to think that our questions had something to do with that.

Anyway, my having some sort of religion 6 out of 7 days each week (our family was very good about attending Sunday services), was making me just a bit holier than thou. I knew more about religion than just about anyone I knew, especially my family. By the time I was in the 6^th grade, my teacher was talking to me about a life in the service of god, either as a preacher or as a teacher. I was all for it and was gathering information about the closest Lutheran high school that was far enough away that I would have to be boarded there. This is when my parents stepped in to save me; I did not go to 7^th grade in my one room school. They took me out and sent me to public school. In hindsight, it was the best thing they ever did for me, at the time; I was bitter and a complete social outcast. No one should be overly religious in a public junior high. It wasn’t until I got to high school that I was no longer the biggest freak in the place. I was still not popular and I was quite overweight, but, there were people worse off than I was and I was learning to fit in. My preacher spent the next several years still trying to convince me to go to the seminary. I left the church instead, questioning my religion.

Over the years, I have never joined another organized religion, but I have looked at several and read about many. I like to think that I definitely have a spiritual side, but the answers are not going to be found here. We are more than the sum of our parts. We are all connected to each other. The Dali Lama says that we are on this planet to be happy. We are at our happiest when we give to others.

There is a lot of talk among most massage therapists about the seven chakra points on the body and bringing them into alignment. I end each session connecting the chakras with my hands in a 4 step move. As I do this, a benediction I heard each Sunday as I was growing up in my church goes through my mind: may the good lord bless you and keep you, may the lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious unto you, may the lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.

Responsibility

An on-line friend and fellow bodyworker from DC wanted me to share the following with my readers. - Jack

A disturbing piece of information recently came to my attention; many men assume that it is ok to play around with their masseur or body-worker because they are professional and must be disease free and would never do anything to harm them.

In the course of a professional legit massage, there is very little that can happen that would be considered “unsafe.” About the only thing that one would have to worry about is the possible transmission of topical skin issue, such as ringworm or the like. Granted, the news of the MRSA bacteria is scary but still pretty rare, those who have come to see me know that I wash my hands often and have bottles of sanitizer sitting around. One of the simplest ways to keeping clean as a client (for those fearful of MRSA) is to shower (if possible) after a session especially if it goes into sexual activities.

Anything that happens beyond the “legit” massage is a matter of personal choices. We are each responsible for our own health and well being. It would be nice to think that no one would ever purposely harm you, but when it comes right down to it, it is still up to you to keep yourself safe.

Everyone has a slightly different idea of what safe behavior is, when you are on the table, you must come with a clear idea of what safe is to you. The best thing that you can do is arm yourself with information, know what the possible diseases are and what the risk levels of different activities are. Then you can call the shots and say “oh yeah, I love that” or “Stop, I don’t do that” or “wait, do you have a condom? If not, I have one in my pants pocket.” The masseur will understand all of this, trust me. He will have had many requests in his past where he has had to say “Sorry dude, I don’t do that,” and he may end up saying that to you at some point. Again, sex of any type is not part of a massage or bodywork session and is a matter of personal choices and should not be expected of the client or the masseur. Not judging anyone on their behavior, just reminding you to take responsibility for it.

So unless you have your own personal masseur locked up in your playroom night and day waiting for you and only you, remember, what ever he is doing with you he has probably done with others.