Happy 4th of July!

Then there are days like today.

I always say, never do anything with a client you are not willing to repeat every time you see them from that point on.  That is one of the reasons I never cum for a client (at least on purpose). I have very few clients that I fuck, and when I do, I let them know that this is a one time only thing, it most likely will never happen again, unless we both want it too and either of us can always say “sorry, not today.”

Let’s face it when sex is part of your job, and you are a man, there are going to be limitations. You can only cum so many times a day. You can only keep up an erection for so long. You have to be stimulated to get an erection by something, anything. That is why you should never fuck a first-time client; you are setting up some pretty high expectations. Shouldn’t even get undressed. Leave it at a hand job.

This morning my first client was a great guy who has been seeing me for about 3 years. Things started pretty slow back then: he didn’t try to touch me; I only gave him a hand job when he was very erect. He didn’t say much before or after – just a short embarrassed “thanks.” His wife had left him, he worked two jobs and usually only had one or two entire days off a month. Eventually he started feeling me up outside my shorts and I started giving him prostate massages. One day he takes my shorts off so he can jack me. Another day he pulls my dick out while it is near his head so he can lick it. We slowly over time work up to three fingers in his ass and he seems to really like it. Eventually I ask him if he would like the real thing and he says nothing, so I keep fingering him till he cums. This happens at least twice more before he says he wants the real thing. He is an extremely handsome man, about 50, good shape, huge dick and a very nice ass. We go slow and I fuck him for the first time, he doesn’t last long. I generally pull out as soon as a guy cums, knowing that it can be painful for a lot of guys to still have a dick in their ass after cumming. The second time I fuck him he wants me to keep going – keep stroking his cock and keep fucking his ass after he cums. OK, I can do that. He kept cumming and cumming and grunting and groaning, it was sweet. So that did become the norm, he likes to get fucked, I like fucking him and I ask before we do it and he says yes and so it goes. This morning was no exception except that we had not seen each other in months due to his schedule before the lockdown and then the lockdown itself so the passion of the moment was a bit higher than normal and a good time was had by all, keeping in mind that I don’t cum.

Ninety minutes later I greet a new client at the door, Randy. He is about 30 years old, 6’, shaved head, well built and very friendly. We are both wearing masks due to Covid. He wanted to know if he could shower before hand and I showed him to the bathroom with a towel and wash cloth. After his shower he returns wrapped in a towel and wearing his mask. He drops the towel and stands naked except for the mask and says “strange world we live in, where do you want me?” I tell him to lie facedown and offer a towel for draping to which he replies “I’m not shy.” He is hairy and well hung, has a multitude of tattoos – mostly Celtic in design in black and bright green. He has a prince albert piercing. I ask the usual about whether he has any aches, pains, illnesses or anything I should know about. He tells me he in the army so he works his body hard, but especially he legs and glutes as of late. I go to work and he is friendly and chatty, compliments my home, pride flag, choice of music etc. I tell him to let me know if I ever use too much or not enough pressure, he likes the deep pressure. I have an erection through most of the massage. He is flirty, nice, attractive and behaving like a gentleman – perfect. I remind myself that I am 20 years older than him and in not nearly as good of shape. It is not until I do the abductor rub under his leg that he first finds my erection and starts rubbing it. He is very receptive as I rub his glutes and when I narrow in on his sphincter, he lifts his hips only very slightly. I ask him it he would like a prostate massage. “Sure, why not?” I start with my thumb, then two fingers, then three… driving them in and out and finally 4 fingers slide in.  So… he is not a virgin.

I ask him to turn over and work immediately on his abs, sliding down over his pubic bone. His cock is erect and I work it lightly then down to his balls. He is freely rubbing my cock through the shorts, so I finally drop them. I switch sides of the table and repeat and then linger with one hand massaging his sphincter and the other working his nips. I couldn’t help myself; I ask if he would like to be fucked. “Why not?” I tell him that I don’t usually do this especially with a new client, but it is the 4^th of July wknd and he is active duty. I put a condom on and throw his legs up over my shoulders and ease in. He is staring intently over the mask into my eyes, as I am staring at his. This is unusual. Most guys will look at me then away, then roll their heads, back at me, close their eyes etc. He has locked eyes with me and not letting go. OK, I can go with that. I fuck him hard and intense, keeping my eyes locked on his, jacking his big cock (careful of the prince albert). I feel he is close but his eyes are looking at me without flinching. I nod my head. He says “here it comes, I shoot a lot!” He puts a hand up to shield his face as volleys of cum fly over his head, on his hand, shoulders, chest and eventually stomach. I laugh as I clean him up, he is extremely sensitive after. I finish the massage with stretching and some deep tissue on his legs and arms. While I work, his hands find my legs, ass, cock, whatever naked body part is closest to him.

When it is over, he gets dressed and repeatedly tells me how good it all was and that he will definitely see me again. He leaves me a nice tip and I show him to the door. In the pre-covid time, I would have hugged him and possibly kissed, but today it is a nod and a “hope to see you again soon.”

Afterwards, I realize I have broken a few rules, but I still haven’t cum and I am still good for another massage or two. So far, a good day.

My story of Tom AKA Andy

I first saw him in October of 2006. He had found me on Craigslist and then on an online massage exchange group that I helped run and sent me an email and introduced himself as Tom. When he showed up at my door for his first appointment what struck me were his wiry unkept hair, his dark frame glasses and how thin he was. He was incredibly nervous. He told me he had not done a lot of this sort of thing and that he was married to a woman and that he was in his 50’s. He was also a diabetic with an implanted insulin pump. When the appointment was over, I noted in my log: Thin, nervous, married, no prostate massage, sensitive balls. I had remained clothed for our first session. The last time he saw me for a massage was October 1, 2014. He saw me 70 times in those 8 years, 90 minutes almost every time. It took him two years to tell me that Tom was his first name but he went by Andy, his middle name. He only used Tom when trying to hide his identity on line.

I took my clothes off for him on our third session, his request. We would spend some time of each session just talking. I heard about his marriage, his kids and his jobs. We talked about whether he should tell his wife about his sexual and emotional attraction to men. I pointed out that as long as he didn’t, he was not allowing her to deal with it, one way or the other. He eventually did tell her. They eventually split.

One day he asked to explore my body, so I lay on the table and he gave me a massage. He wasn’t very good, no reason why he should have been. He claimed I was the first cock that he put his mouth, I believed him. Eventually he got over his fear of anal and asked for a prostate massage. Over time we worked up to three fingers. He eventually wanted to be fucked, and after much discussion, I agreed to take his ‘virginity.’ It would be something that he would ask for occasionally after that. His favorite activity though was always frottage. He liked sucking cock as well, but he preferred when I climbed on the table and we rubbed our bodies together until he came. He also had an underwear fetish and loved modeling his latest purchases, and occasionally would bring me a pair to keep.

There was a six month break in seeing each other. When he returned, he explained that he had been seeing someone else and didn’t want to cheat on him. I said I understood, though he was still living with his wife at the time so I was confused. After that session we talked about the relationship that he had just finished. Turned out that it was all on line. They would chat, send pics and jack off together on video. However, when Andy wanted to meet, the other guy ghosted him. Andy went through the angst that many older people feel when they start coming out – they are too old to fit into the gay world, they waited too long to come out, they missed the best days of their lives. I offered him many suggestions of where to go to meet men that he may be interested in and may be interested in him. There was another break when he felt that he was becoming too emotionally attached to me, even though we only saw each other once a month at most.

It was a few years between when he told his wife and when he told his kids, and then only because he had decided to move out and get his own place. Their reactions were mixed, somewhat supportive and they loved him, but an over whelming sympathy for their mother for being lied to (as they felt they were lied to as well).

He moved to the far side of the city and he stopped seeing me as a client. He called occasionally and sent an occasional email. I saw him out at the bars a few times. He was more comfortable with himself than I had ever seen him. He was genuinely happy. To the best of my knowledge he never found a full time male lover, but he found friends and he found sex partners. He came out loud and proud. He marched in gay pride parades. He wrote articles of gay men in art and in history! He became a leader.

I heard he passed away in May. He was 66. I don’t know what he passed away from, doesn’t matter. It was a life well lived.   

- Jack

Back at work

Pandemic and all, back at work. Honestly, it's probably too soon, but one can only live so long on reduced funds and the state says it's OK. I am only taking one hour appointments and masks are required for us both when the client is face up, so we spend 45 minutes with the client face down. Most of my regular clients like a lot of ass play so they are good with that. The legit ones like a lot of work on their backs and shoulders so they are good with it as well.
It was weird to go back to it after 3 months. No problem with the actual work, but the little things like: Where is my favorite music? How does my Square payment system work again? Where are my candles? etc.
It has been a busy week with returning clients and new ones. It has also been odd having to have an erection for most of the day again. The first few clients it was kind of fun and exciting all over again, by the end of the week it was "You can do this!" It was the biggest change during the break - for about 6 weeks, I only got hard for sex with my husband - no masturbation at all. It was a real vacation for my dick. After that my libido and dick started jumping back to life.
It was clear that many of my clients were very happy to see me again. Starting with how quickly my scheduled filled up and the warm greetings they gave me when the entered and how they just kept chatting and catching up while stripping naked, and everyone came really fast.
The laundry also came back, in spades. usually 3 to 4 towels per massage plus the sheets and face cradle. Also going through a lot of lysol spray and hand sanitizer, and masks. It's all good. I have had a bit of push back on the mask issue, which honestly surprised me. I'm only asking them to wear it for 15 minutes of table time, but it does mean that it is harder to suck my dick, so there's that. I am secretly trying to get them off while they are still face down so it is less of an issue.
I have heard of the death of one of my clients, I will write more about him next time.
Stay safe everyone.

The Pandemic Continues

The pandemic continues. Some parts of the country are allowing masseurs back to work, others are not. I live in a place where we are not allowed back yet, though again, many have never stopped working. The rate of cases here has not slowed down yet so I am ok with putting off working far a bit yet. If there were an antibody test that was reliable and readily available, I would love to take it. If I knew that I had some immunity I would feel much better about letting strangers lie naked on a table in my home for 90 minutes at a time while I work over them.... ;-)
I have painted just about every room in my house, including closets. I have worked on the landscaping around my home. I spent a lot of time watching movies and working on puzzles and reading. I spend an hour or so each day contacting people I know from various periods of my life to check up on them. My husband and I play board games, a lot.
Every day I get contacted for massage work. Most are regular clients who wonder when I will go back to work. Telling them that I will obey the Governor's non-essential business guidelines, seems to go in one ear and out the other. Financially, I am still okay - not great - but okay. I can last another month or two without panicking.
At this time of social distancing, people are more touch deprived than ever. An elderly friend of mine sent me a message after a doctor's appointment how startled she was that he touched her arm, and then she realized no one had touched her anywhere on her body in over a month.
My fellow masseurs have some differing opinions about what to do now. Some have closed, like me, not only for the sake of themselves and their families but for the good of their clients. Others who have remained open (against the edicts handed down from their states) have said that business is slow, but the tips are good. The clients they are seeing are exclusively those who want sensual work (even if their normal practice is mostly 'legit' work).
I feel bad for my clients on many levels. While they have the option to go see another therapist, many don't feel comfortable with that option. For many, I am the only male that they have ever let touch them in such an intimate manner and they feel safe with me. So for them this interruption of life has been even more difficult. Imagine, if you will, that you crave the touch of another man and had been denied it for most of your life for one reason or another. You finally work up the courage to pay for a massage from a man and discover the touch that you had so longed for. You build up a level of trust with your masseur that goes just beyond simple touch and see him a regular basis to keep your life in balance. Then suddenly, the option is taken away from you and you are stuck at home. You feel as though you are right back to where you started again, except now you have the knowledge of what you were actually missing.
Then you have the men in sexless marriages who are now locked up with their spouses. Marriages turn sexless for a lot of different reasons - incompatible partners, sex drives, preferences, communication, apathy etc. The level of stress that must be experienced by these people during this time must be pretty high. Growing up in the great Northland, we called it Cabin Fever, seeing the same people over and over with no ability to get away from them. It can be difficult to even find the time and place to jack off.
So I understand the stress out there and I feel for all of you. I hope you all stay safe and sane until we can see each other again.

Pandemic

Who would have thought it would have come to this???
I am adhering to the non-essential business closure to keep people healthy. I pride myself in keeping my massage business as clean as possible (fresh sheets, towels, hand sanitizer, disposable face rest covers, etc), massage also means 60 to 90 minutes in very close proximity with another person. In my area, about 1 out of every 10 gay male masseurs have closed. Which means 9 out of 10 have not. I understand their decision even if I do not agree with it. We are self employed which means we are not immediately eligible for unemployment insurance, so if we close there is absolutely no money coming in. The latest stimulus package provides for self employed people, but it has been three weeks since that has passed and my state still is not accepting claims from self employed people. Fortunately, I am better off than most, I have money set aside and a husband who is still working. Others I know are not as fortunate. There is also no set date when things can get back to normal.
So I understand why some of my fellow massage therapists are still working. It is a little harder to understand the clients, but this is hardly unheard of. If the fear of AIDS in the 80's was not enough to stop risky behavior, the Coronavirus is hardly going to stop it.
I hope that everyone is staying safe and healthy. I hope that you all survive the temporary financial set backs.
- Jack

I'm alive.

Wow, so long since my last post!
I am still alive but apparently not good at the discipline required to be a great blogger. Part of the issue is writing about interesting things without constantly repeating myself. Also I need to be careful with some of my descriptive encounters as most of my clients would rather not recognize themselves while reading my blog.
So what has happened in the intervening years?
Well I got legally married to my husband, we got married on our 20th Anniversary (over 5 years ago now). We bought a new house. We still work together as actors. I still do massage, he is still indulgent of this choice.
I have thought of quitting many times over the years. The reason always being the same, money. I don't mind the work most days, in fact it is still sometimes a lot of fun. However, the money isn't great. I try to schedule clients during the day on weekdays so that it doesn't interfere with my husband's free time. This does mean that I am not as available as other masseurs who make most of their money in the evenings and wknds. The demand ebbs and flows with the change of seasons, weather, the moon, the economy, politics, etc and it makes it difficult to have a steady income. You hope for the best, that it will balance in the end and sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't. I have had some good years and some bad ones. I often feel that as a responsible partner and husband, I should find a better paying and more consistent source of income.
I have been out of circulation from both full time Theatre and EEO work for over 15 years and I am now over 50, so getting a new job has been tough. In the mean time, I rub naked guys and try to keep the business as successful as possible.
Fortunately, getting older has not affected my business too much. I know there are guys out there who will not choose me for a massage because I am older and not in perfect shape and that's ok. I also don't get the tourists who are just looking for a rub and tug from a pretty face, I never wanted that crowd anyway. I do get a wide variety of men from all ages, ethnic, educational, religious, and physical groupings that become repeat clients. They are for the most part all great guys.
I will try to post more often, assuming anyone out there still wants to hear from me.
- Jack

Dating a Masseur?

I received the following email and also got his permission to share our conversation with all of you. The names have all been changed.

Hi Jack,

First and foremost, I love your blog, you are a very skilled writer and masseur from what I read ;) I've been looking in the web for a few days now trying to get some "answers" and your site just hit home.

If you don't mind, I would like to share a recent experience with hopes of obtaining your perspective, as someone who performs sensual bodywork, and perhaps gain some peace of mind of my own.

I'm fairly new to sensual/erotic massages (started this year). My first few times were great and limited to just mutual touching, and/or happy ending. After months of curiosity and as recent as this month, I started experimenting with new masseurs in my area, to my surprise some of the sessions have gone beyond the mutual touching and into oral and rimming etc.

My dilemma comes from this one masseur, tall, blonde, fit, eastern European decent, totally my type, claims to be straight. Throughout the session he was very nice, he kept complimenting me, at first it seemed like he was telling me what I wanted to hear but then again, he was pointing out things others had complimented me on before. Overall a very nice guy, though out the end of the session he let me give him a BJ and after we finished he offered to jump in the shower with me, as we are done chatting and washing off our oil, he looks into my eyes gets close to me and we start making out, I asked if he wanted to cum but he said that he had masturbated already, we both get out of the shower, we dress, we chat a bit more and before he leaves, he leaned over to me and made out with me again, then left. He left me thinking there for a bit after he left..

Come the following week, I schedule another appointment, he wont on with his massage, when he asked me turn over,  I pulled him close to me, we start a deep passionate kissing session, this time he also let me rim him and instead of releasing in bed, we just went to the shower to finish off.. This time while he was trying to cum he just held me tight as we continued to make out, it was hot and intense, and the same, as we got dressed he told me that one of these days he was going to pick me up and go out for drinks (he had mentioned that in the first session), he then kissed me goodbye and left. He later sent me a text, which led to us making arrangements to meet up casually later in the week.

The day off, he seemed to be backed up with work, still he took the time to come and meet, it was a bit awkward, there seemed to be a lot in his head and his phone was non-stop with texts, so we just kept conversation general, can't deny I flirted a bit, then we each went our ways, he said he would be in touch but haven’t heard back.

I've had nice repeat hot sessions with other masseurs, and they've also complimented me but they also kept it cool afterwards. No text backs, no social invites and no kissing.

So I'm not sure if he was just playing me into more sessions/creating client "rapport" or if there was a true spark from his side.. and this is where I'm needing another perspective

It's way too soon to be thinking about stuff, its only been 2 sessions, but would love to explore if there is something more..

I feel silly as in my mid 30s, not in high school, and I guess I should know better, but I just cant stop thinking about him!

Thoughts?

p.s. Thank you in advance and apologies for the long email.

I responded back with:

Dear Adam,

I think the big question here is what are you hoping for? Free sex? Dating? A relationship?

Most sensual workers have to deal with very old men all day long. We are always happy to have someone that we could actually be attracted to. It makes our job easier, even enjoyable. We will always treat such clients better because we like them. Personally, I have never gone on a date with a client because I am not looking to date, I have a partner. I have gone out to lunch with a client (he paid) after a session because he really wanted to talk about the session and his life. I did this only once since we have to be careful of clients getting too attached. 

So, are you getting played? Is he just trying to keep a good client? Maybe. He might actually like you. But, remember he has a job to do and bills to pay. So don't expect him to give up his "job" for you. 

If you are just wondering if he will have anal sex with you, sure! If that's his thing.

So what are you wanting out of this?

To which he responds:

Dear Jack,

Quite frankly, I think I was longing for that physical desire/connection and he just happen to push the right buttons. Is too early for me to think relationship, perhaps friends with benefits, he did mention he was straight, but who knows.. I tend to have no expectations as those usually lead to attachment/disappointment. So I guess In the meantime, I'll enjoy the moment, keep things professional and if something happens then great..

What I know for sure, is that I needed to get this off my chest in order to ground myself, get him out of my head (or at least not have him there as often) and move on.

I truly Thank you for taking the time to read and answer my email and in a non-judgmental way, It's definitely something I cant easily talk with anyone else.

Hope you are having great rest of your day and looking forward to more of your posts! ;)

To which I responded:

No problem Adam,

He may claim to be straight, but I doubt it. He is either saying to attract more customers or he is lying to himself.

Friends with benefits may happen, but realize he would be losing money if he loses you as a client. It has happened the masseurs will date a client, but it is rare.

Anyway, I am glad that I could help and I hope you remember to keep me posted. 

And about 30 days later he did:

Hi Jack,

It's been a while, wanted to give you an update on my situation and my observations, and I apologize upfront as I certainly don't want to nag you with my stories.

I have continued having sessions with him ever since we last talked, each session continues to be intense: kissing, oral, mutual orgasms etc.

Aside from the sexual stuff though, I am starting to notice that I also simply enjoy spending time with him, he's witty, we share some good laughs, stories about our families and I feel as we have a great connection, he always leaves me feeling great. I wish the time I spend with him would never end but unfortunately it seems to be limited to just a couple of hours a month. He always talks about us going clubbing or working out together but aside from that other time we went out, we really don't communicate in between sessions, there's maybe a small catch up chat when I contact him for an appointment but that's about it, which is perhaps a good idea, based on what I've read about client/therapist boundaries.

To add to my frustration, I learned from social media (I found him online :-)) that he's been going out with this girl! He had talked briefly about her a couple of sessions ago, but it didn't seem as something serious, however social media seems to indicate otherwise, although it looked as if it's one side sided from her, (could be my wishful thinking kicking in) plus, I'm pretty sure she doesn't know about his gig. Either way, can't deny it stung a bit seeing them together.

From what I'm telling you today, does it sound like another case of transference? Here I am speaking about of his relationship with this girl being one sided, yet I wonder if all these feelings I'm having are a result of me reading too much into his actions when in fact I'm just another day at his "job".

I replied:

Dear Adam,

Yes, it does sound like a case of transference. You are seeing what you want to see. He could easily be very much in love with this woman and marry her someday. That has little to do with your relationship with him. Whether he is just being nice to keep a good client or whether he genuinely likes you or more has little to do with his feelings for this woman. Just realize that he most likely will never leave her for you, that almost never happens. ;-)

He responded:

I wish there could be more of this out there on which people could share and discuss these types of experiences without the LMTs getting all worked up and judgmental about it.

As far as your advice, I concur, woman/man, it's not my intent for him to leave anyone for me (still bummer for me), however I now know better to at least hold-off on making any moves. I'm fairly new to sensual/erotic work, so my feelings may be more common than what I think.

Anyway, I literally just finished a session with him this afternoon and all I got to say is, if he's not feeling anything whatsoever towards me, then he's one hell of an actor!

Thanks again,
- Adam

About a week later I received this from him: 

To buy or not to buy, that is the question..

I typically have tons of candles around my place when he comes, a while ago he had mentioned he really liked one of them. I'm going home the Holidays, and I'm thinking of getting him one, for our last session of the year, its a tad pricey. What do you think? Is it tacky/creepy/clingy? I wonder if other clients also feel this way.. lol

p.s. I share my feelings with you, but I haven't mentioned any of this to him of course, up to this point, I've kept things professional in between sessions, I think, not sure if he knows how I feel.. don't want to make a fool of myself.. 

- Adam

My response: 

Hey Adam,

Many of my regular clients give me something around the Holidays. Generally, it is an extra large tip, but other gifts I have received are collectable Christmas ornaments, bottles of wine or other alcohols that they noticed on my bar, live plants and the like. It is better to give an early gift than to come back from vacation with something you bought while you were away because you were thinking of him, that starts getting creepy. Just relax and have fun with the situation, however, keep your eyes open for the real man of your dreams, one who is not taken or "straight."

He replies:

That's valid point, I did think about bringing him something :-p, but I'll just go ahead and get him the early gift instead. You are so right about the relaxing part, I need to remind myself to do that, I'm usually good at keeping things NSA or not even consider "straight" guys, but then there's always that one person/exception to the rule that gets to you.. sigh..

I appreciate you getting back to me, hope your day is going well

About 10 days later I received:

Dear Jack,

I know that you advised me to just relax and enjoy the situation, and to a certain extent I am, however as each session progresses, the feelings of taking things a step further grow, next step being perhaps hanging out socially.

First, there's not much of an age difference between us, we both have pretty active social lives, like similar music and attend similar places (I go to gay bars but tend to hangout more in the straight scene also).

Second, there's been a couple of things he's said and done that lead me to believe there's a mutual interest there but I've taken them with a grain of salt due to the nature of his job and/or because he never seems to follow through in between sessions:

• Constantly bringing up us going for a drink or him picking me up at the gym - he hasn’t followed through on this one as of yet.
• During one of our latest conversations, as we cuddled, we discovered we had a bar in common, which he followed by a “Well.. that’s where we met right?” - I took this as him trying to come up with a story for if we ever hang out together, don’t know
• He has foreign phrase tattooed on one his arm, when I asked him what it meant, he said "Adam is my favorite client" - cliche I know and I rolled my eyes but still thought it was cute ;)
• He also mentioned that if he ever has sex (intercourse) with a man, he would like for me to be the one - also cliche, won't hold my breath but still included it here
• Now the one that threw me of was that during the last session, he mentioned that his roommate was gonna be out for the weekend and that if I wanted, I could come over to his place for a visit, I told him I would let him know  - This one I figured was a bit more elaborate, why would you go through all that hassle of having to deal with someone and offering such a thing if you weren’t interested
• That same day, late evening he sent me a picture of him, just because
• A couple of days later, I sent him good morning text, he actually followed through, we had a nice exchange for a couple of hours, totally unexpected

I'm not sure if I should just sent him a follow up on his offer to meet him as his place, what do you think?

- Adam

My advice:

Adam, 

Sure, if you are interested and he is interested why not have a meet up at his place. You trust him. See if he follows up with it. Still, don't expect love, but friendship and sex may be on the table. If however he does not follow up with any of it, you will have to decide whether you want to continue with things as they are or not. Hope that helps. 
- Jack

Jack,

It does, I guess the point is to go with it and if nothing happens I'll have my answer. 

But the do the things I've mentioned below sound like typical "sales" techniques? Like you personally wouldn't do some of these things with your clients, right?

thanks for responding Jack

- Adam

Dear Adam, 

I would never go that far, quite the contrary, I make it very clear that it is a provider/client relationship. Especially when asked by a client to spend time together outside of massage, I answer that I am flattered, but I keep my personal and professional life very separate. If he is willing to spend a fair amount of time with you, without getting paid for it, then it is legitimate friendship (and who know, maybe more). Always be wary of those that say they are straight, they may have issues that you can not help them with. 
- Jack

Jack,

Yep, Im trying to be extremely careful because of that, I certainly dont wanna get hurt, but I do like him a lot!

He just responded that he wont be able to meet tonight, so I'm not going to make any further efforts and let him make the next move if he's interested..

Adam, 

Let him know that you are available (if you are) for the rest of the weekend and if he wants to get together with you, he just needs to let you know. In other words, make it clear the ball is in his court. 

Jack,

I'm guessing by now, he should have a pretty decent idea that I want to hang out, so if he really wanted to meet, I would expect for him to ask for my availability some other day.. 

- Adam

Dear Adam,

You are most likely correct. It seems that he has a very active social life, between working at massage, having a girlfriend, a roommate and other friends he hangs with. No point in sitting around waiting for him to call, best get out there and have some fun! Best of luck Adam!

Jack,

That's the other thing, he seems to always be available whenever I want a massage, not sure how he does it, he only does out calls, so he drives all over town/burbs.. but you're absolutely right, I'm definitely not sitting around, just a bit frustrated :-/

Thanks for keeping up with me Jack.

So people who read all the way through this, what do you think of the situation that Adam is in? Have you had similar situations? How did they end?  What advice would you have given? What jumps out at you in this exchange? Keep in mind, Adam is a regular reader and will see your responses. Thanks! 

- Jack