I have met several people in the course of my life who would definitely not approve of what I and others like me do. They see no merit in it and worse, see us as harbingers of evil, destroying people's lives by seducing them into doing things that lead them down a path of self destruction (I was actually told this).
"Legit" masseurs don't like us since we give the profession a bad name and fill men's head with incorrect expectations every time they go for a massage. I would like to point out the idea of "legit" massage is extremely new and they actually infringed on our turf. Massage is still not regulated in half the country, though massage schools are fighting this so they can have more students. Massage, as opposed to other forms of paid human interaction, pays attention to every inch of the body and relaxes the muscles and the person and the soul. The focus of massage is unique in that there is a giver and receiver, nothing is expected of the receiver except relaxation.
Earlier this month, I saw a guy who had been referred to me from one of my most regular clients. We chatted briefly about what he wanted. He is a very good looking early 50's gentleman who has some stress and he came to me because I also do sensual work. OK, no prob, he had named who had recommended him, so I trust him. I give him a very good and thorough massage including a sensual release. He has a difficult time maintaining an erection but we manage. He orgasms but does not ejaculate, so I realize then that he must have had his prostate removed.
Afterwards he tells me it had only been about two months since his prostate had been removed and I was the first person to give him an orgasm since. He has been afraid to have sex with his own partner, he know that it will not be the same. He even showed me a pic of his erection from before the surgery. I talk to him about various means and tools to helping to maintain an erection without a prostate and tell him that he is still very capable of sex and pleasing his partner (and vice-versa) and that his partner loves him and wants to stay connected, however it works.
A tennis player who sees me on a regular basis comes to me for human interaction. He wants to find a full time partner but doesn't want to do the bed hopping routine. He sees me as a way relieving the need for male to male contact so he can date with a clear head and not because he he just needs sex. Plus he knows when we are together, safety is foremost in both our minds, there is no exchange of fluids.
An opera singer sees me because he does not have the time to date while he pursues his career.
A botanist sees me because he lost his partner of 20 some years and does not want another at this stage of life.
A grief counselor sees me for 90 minutes of focus on him and him alone.
A married man sees me to relieve his desires for other men and preserve his marriage to the woman he loves.
A cowboy sees me as he questions his own sexuality.
A former Marine sees me because I am discreet and he still works for the government.
A psychologist sees me as a perfectly normal way to express his desires for men and to practice receiving pleasure.
A man coming out in his late 40's comes to me to learn what feels good and what doesn't; so he can learn to please other men.
Many gay men see me because they want a massage with sensual elements because it makes them feel better to be touched all over, not just where "State Approved."
Many straight men come to me to talk and ask questions that they are afraid to ask anyone else.
There are many more stories.
I am seen as a safe place to ask questions, to receive pleasure, to experiment, to relax, to feel, to escape, to cry, to laugh, to orgasm or not, to commune with another male, to not be ashamed and to simply be yourself.
I believe there is a very real need for these services. Whether they are allowed by the state or not.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Weekend get away part II
So continuing the discussion on the weekend at the clothing optional gay B+B....
On Saturday another young couple shows up, so of course, we must figure them out. The B+B is full up so either someone else left and they took the room or they are there on a day pass. They look like a slightly mismatched pair. One is fair haired and stocky, the other is lean and dark and quite hairy (with a very nice penis).
Turns out that while they arrived together, they are not a couple at all, but old friends who are spending the weekend together. The fair haired one (Mark) is the one who lives locally and plays at a couple of the local piano bars. The Dark haired one (Jason) lives in New York and does musical theater and occasionally joins in the piano gigs when in town.
Now the couple that we have travelled with find Mark and Jason (especially Jason, OK, Really just Jason) absolutely tantalizing and chat the new guys up a lot. Being there on a day pass usually means that they are looking for a bit of "randy" fun, being an over night guest means that you are in no hurry. This is what is known as a conflict of interests. The afternoon passes with no action and lots of chat and a promise that we will go see them at the piano bar that evening.
All four of us go and enjoy a nice meal and a couple of drinks. We stay long enough to hear both guys sing and then split. Not that they weren't good, it's just most of us can only take so much of a piano bar unless they are doing "sing-a-longs" ;-) Mark and Jason will be playing until midnight and it is about 9 when we leave. They will not be back to the B+B and we did not specifically ask them, over night guests are hugely frowned upon anyway.
We go back and drink and play board games naked.
The next day, the four of us do a little light shopping and return to the B+B in the mid-afternoon. Much to every one's surprise, Mark and Jason are back! We are greeted with warm hugs and kisses! Mark wants to know if he can get a massage from me, paying for it of course. I have brought my supplies and could use a little more cash so I say sure; besides, I figure this will give my friends a better chance with Jason.
So I set up my table and put on the music and invite Mark to my room for a massage. This was one of the nicest massage sessions I have ever had. We had already spent a good amount of time together naked so there was no need to worry about draping or me getting dressed. Mark was a perfect gentleman through the entire massage. No grabbing, no butt wiggling, just a nice legit massage with both of us in the nude. I love these type of sessions. I very rarely get to to do this. I have nothing against erotic massage obviously, but it is sometimes just nice to give a nice open and natural massage with out all the other stuff.
Anyway, after the 90 minute session, we chat a little and joke that Jason will probably be in my friend's room by this time. The attraction was obvious and no one begrudged them their fun.
I open the door and their in the courtyard is Jason and my friends and my partner all just chatting away again. Part of me is hoping that the deed is already done, but it doesn't feel like it, the sexual tension is still thick in the air. Mark goes to the other side of the courtyard where he left his things to lay out after his massage. I ask the guys what they have been doing and apparently they spent most of the time just sitting in the hot tub (not doing anything but talking).
Jason comments to me that he would love a massage but can't afford it. A lot goes through my mind in this moment:
First, I find the boy attractive (if a bit young and thin for me) but he has a nice butt and penis and he is hairy so I could give him a freebie, however I never do that, also, that would be a bit of a slap in the face to Mark who paid full price.
Second, I could tell him to go ask his friend Mark for the money but that seems to me to be in really bad taste all the way around.
Third, I could offer the use of my table and supplies to my friends to use to give Jason a free massage. That would be a very nice thing to do. Would not compromise my principals of never giving free massages. I would not be offending Mark. However, if someone is going to be having a sexually good time on my table, I should be involved.
Fourth, that last thought was really selfish; I am not changing my mind, but it was selfish. I need to work on that, later.
Fifth, why the hell didn't my friends take advantage of this obviously horny boy while I was giving his friend a massage?
So the conversations continue and nothing happens and Mark and Jason have to leave to work another gig that night. We again are invited, however we have no intention of going.
After they left, I ask my partner what the deal was in the hot tub. Apparently in the tub, while the conversation was going full force, Jason started playing with him under the water. This went on for some time before my partner excused himself. He felt a little uncomfortable playing in front of our friends because they were are friends and they wanted Jason themselves. So in his mind, his departure was his way of saying, why don't you all enjoy yourselves. For whatever reason, they didn't "go for it".
Now it is true that outside there were a number of people and our friends had already been branded the first day for playing with the first guy that came along. Perhaps it was that they don't "play" with others very often (at least not to the best of my knowledge) and they had already done it once that weekend. Perhaps they just never found the moment. Whatever the reason, this fell into the column of missed opportunities. We all have a lot in that column. Heck, I could have taken Jason out from under them with the offer of a free massage and invited my partner to help out and we could had a good time but that really would have been unfair to our friends. Maybe they thought the same about us. Who knows? We discussed it briefly, I think our friends thought he was out of their league (though he really wasn't). Both Jason and Mark also mentioned that they had boyfriends that were not with them, perhaps my friends were trying to respect the man who wasn't there...
I guess the lesson here, if there is one, sometimes, it is OK to be a bit aggressive, if it is done in a polite way. For example, I have a friend from a long time ago who believed in asking everyone he was attracted to if they would like to have sex. He had more sex than anyone I know. ;-)
On Saturday another young couple shows up, so of course, we must figure them out. The B+B is full up so either someone else left and they took the room or they are there on a day pass. They look like a slightly mismatched pair. One is fair haired and stocky, the other is lean and dark and quite hairy (with a very nice penis).
Turns out that while they arrived together, they are not a couple at all, but old friends who are spending the weekend together. The fair haired one (Mark) is the one who lives locally and plays at a couple of the local piano bars. The Dark haired one (Jason) lives in New York and does musical theater and occasionally joins in the piano gigs when in town.
Now the couple that we have travelled with find Mark and Jason (especially Jason, OK, Really just Jason) absolutely tantalizing and chat the new guys up a lot. Being there on a day pass usually means that they are looking for a bit of "randy" fun, being an over night guest means that you are in no hurry. This is what is known as a conflict of interests. The afternoon passes with no action and lots of chat and a promise that we will go see them at the piano bar that evening.
All four of us go and enjoy a nice meal and a couple of drinks. We stay long enough to hear both guys sing and then split. Not that they weren't good, it's just most of us can only take so much of a piano bar unless they are doing "sing-a-longs" ;-) Mark and Jason will be playing until midnight and it is about 9 when we leave. They will not be back to the B+B and we did not specifically ask them, over night guests are hugely frowned upon anyway.
We go back and drink and play board games naked.
The next day, the four of us do a little light shopping and return to the B+B in the mid-afternoon. Much to every one's surprise, Mark and Jason are back! We are greeted with warm hugs and kisses! Mark wants to know if he can get a massage from me, paying for it of course. I have brought my supplies and could use a little more cash so I say sure; besides, I figure this will give my friends a better chance with Jason.
So I set up my table and put on the music and invite Mark to my room for a massage. This was one of the nicest massage sessions I have ever had. We had already spent a good amount of time together naked so there was no need to worry about draping or me getting dressed. Mark was a perfect gentleman through the entire massage. No grabbing, no butt wiggling, just a nice legit massage with both of us in the nude. I love these type of sessions. I very rarely get to to do this. I have nothing against erotic massage obviously, but it is sometimes just nice to give a nice open and natural massage with out all the other stuff.
Anyway, after the 90 minute session, we chat a little and joke that Jason will probably be in my friend's room by this time. The attraction was obvious and no one begrudged them their fun.
I open the door and their in the courtyard is Jason and my friends and my partner all just chatting away again. Part of me is hoping that the deed is already done, but it doesn't feel like it, the sexual tension is still thick in the air. Mark goes to the other side of the courtyard where he left his things to lay out after his massage. I ask the guys what they have been doing and apparently they spent most of the time just sitting in the hot tub (not doing anything but talking).
Jason comments to me that he would love a massage but can't afford it. A lot goes through my mind in this moment:
First, I find the boy attractive (if a bit young and thin for me) but he has a nice butt and penis and he is hairy so I could give him a freebie, however I never do that, also, that would be a bit of a slap in the face to Mark who paid full price.
Second, I could tell him to go ask his friend Mark for the money but that seems to me to be in really bad taste all the way around.
Third, I could offer the use of my table and supplies to my friends to use to give Jason a free massage. That would be a very nice thing to do. Would not compromise my principals of never giving free massages. I would not be offending Mark. However, if someone is going to be having a sexually good time on my table, I should be involved.
Fourth, that last thought was really selfish; I am not changing my mind, but it was selfish. I need to work on that, later.
Fifth, why the hell didn't my friends take advantage of this obviously horny boy while I was giving his friend a massage?
So the conversations continue and nothing happens and Mark and Jason have to leave to work another gig that night. We again are invited, however we have no intention of going.
After they left, I ask my partner what the deal was in the hot tub. Apparently in the tub, while the conversation was going full force, Jason started playing with him under the water. This went on for some time before my partner excused himself. He felt a little uncomfortable playing in front of our friends because they were are friends and they wanted Jason themselves. So in his mind, his departure was his way of saying, why don't you all enjoy yourselves. For whatever reason, they didn't "go for it".
Now it is true that outside there were a number of people and our friends had already been branded the first day for playing with the first guy that came along. Perhaps it was that they don't "play" with others very often (at least not to the best of my knowledge) and they had already done it once that weekend. Perhaps they just never found the moment. Whatever the reason, this fell into the column of missed opportunities. We all have a lot in that column. Heck, I could have taken Jason out from under them with the offer of a free massage and invited my partner to help out and we could had a good time but that really would have been unfair to our friends. Maybe they thought the same about us. Who knows? We discussed it briefly, I think our friends thought he was out of their league (though he really wasn't). Both Jason and Mark also mentioned that they had boyfriends that were not with them, perhaps my friends were trying to respect the man who wasn't there...
I guess the lesson here, if there is one, sometimes, it is OK to be a bit aggressive, if it is done in a polite way. For example, I have a friend from a long time ago who believed in asking everyone he was attracted to if they would like to have sex. He had more sex than anyone I know. ;-)
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