Anal stimulation

I often wonder how many women are aware of the power that lies in a single finger. I know that most gay men do. All gay male sensual body workers should know.
One of the reasons that "straight" men will come to see a gay body worker is for a little attention to the areas that the Sun don't shine. Many have gone to female body workers and have gotten off one way or another, everything from hand jobs to blow jobs to a few who apparently will hop up on the table and use their vagina, it's true, I have had several clients tell me so.
They come to us for something a little more, which in the grand scheme of things is so much less. They want anal stimulation. No big deal for most of us, hell, a lot of us are happy to oblige.
The amount and the depth that they want varies and can be an interesting guessing game. Pretty much all men like external massage of the sphincter area, those who do not are just really tense and afraid of what might come next. If you can assure them that is all you are going to do and they relax a bit, they will love it as well. There are a lot of nerve endings in the area of the sphincter that get ignored for most of a life time. The only attention they get is a wipe of toilet paper and a little soapy water when showering. Most "straight" men do not think of the sphincter as a place for arousal when they are home masturbating (give it up, we all know you masturbate). The thought of lightly stroking down there is for some repulsive, for others "too gay," and simply does not occur for a good majority of the population.
So how is it that they come looking for me and my kind? Perhaps they read about it in a porn story, or heard a dirty joke, or saw it in a movie or heard about on a tv show (usually as a joke) or perhaps when they were showering one day, they noticed that soapy finger felt kind of good down there. The issue for most though is that they are fixated on penetration, that if something is rubbing around down there, the goal must be to stick it in. This is where it can go very wrong for the inexperienced.
There are a lot of jokes about prostate exams and how "uncomfortable" they are. Well, I had my first medical prostate exam last year and even as a gay man who has a lot of experience with my anal region, it was indeed uncomfortable. Icy cold lube smeared unceremoniously followed immediately with a rubber coated finger poking all the way in and yanked back out after a quick feel. It was as if every possible care was taken to make this procedure as nasty as it could be. The only thing that would have been worse is if they had not used any lube. It is because of experiences like this that many men fear penetration. Not that penetration is the end all and be all of anything. There are "tops" and "bottoms" in the world for a reason, being penetrated is not for everyone, but until it is approached in a calm and sympathetic manner, most men just know fear.
So, when approaching this in a massage, I start with a little tease. While the client is lying on his stomach and his entire back side has been massaged, I work on his glutes. Starting on the side that is opposite from the side of the table on which I am standing (So if I am on the right side of the table, I work the client's left glute) I knead the muscle tissue with both hands working in a circular motion around the glute. This will expose the sphincter to daylight and air for brief moments over and over again. When the glute is well worked, I work the crevice of the buttocks from top to bottom using my thumbs to lightly push the flesh out away from the sphincter area. I do this three times from top to bottom, lightly grazing the sphincter occasionally on the second and third passes. I then move to the other side of the table and repeat the process.
Once the second cheek is finished and the passes down the crevice are complete, I treat the entire buttocks as a whole with some sweeping circular strokes. Then the body is treated as a whole with long connecting strokes from the shoulders to the feet. I will then do a a very light stroke from between shoulder blades to the sphincter and lightly stroke the external sphincter alternating between up and down strokes and circular strokes. I will graze the balls and rub the perineum. After a few moments, I will follow the balls down and stroke the penis, if it is exposed, then move up between the shoulder blades and repeat, adding a bit more lube warmed in my hands each time. On the third time stroking the sphincter, I may let my thumb test the resistance of penetration (make sure your nails are well trimmed). It is generally pretty easy to tell at this point what the client is used to, many will lift their hips to try to impale themselves on my thumb, others simply open up and the thumb falls into the hole. With others, there may be a great deal of resistance and I simply continue to rub lightly, taking penetration off the table. Still others open after a moments hesitation then grasp my thumb tightly after penetration to the point where any movement on my part is nearly impossible. With these men, I simply let my thumb stay still while my other hand continues long strokes along their back and legs. When the sphincter relaxes, I may try a little back and forth or I may slowly pull out and repeat the process.
Many men feel confused or ashamed if they ejaculate at this moment, usually with out touching themselves or with minimal movement against the sheet. It's no big deal. Happens a lot. Really.
For many men, just the external massage is all they want, something that they don't get at home or those "other" massage parlors.
I will include some light external rubbing during the "release" portion of the massage on every man, regardless of their reactions earlier. Even the most uptight of men will enjoy their anus being rubbed while their penis being stimulated, and by this time, I usually have their trust that I will not try to rape them in any way.
So the moral of this lesson is "rub you anus every day, it feels good, and if their are any doctors reading this, seriously, slow down and let a guy relax a little for those prostate exams!"

Thoughts

I deal mostly with men who are in relationships. I am not sure why that is, but it's true. Oh, don't get me wrong, I have a number of single clients who see me on a semi regular basis, but the bulk of my clientle are in relationships, gay or straight.
I think what amazes me even more is that they tell me. I don't mind hearing it, but I am not sure why they feel the need. I understand someone who has seen me on several occassions, but even a lot of first timers will tell me about their wife and children or what their partner does just before or after a sensual session. Does it make them feel better to be honest with me? Is it cathartic? Do they just need someone to talk to? Please understand that only a few tell me about problems in their relationships, most tell me the mundane things about vacations, jobs, in-laws and the such.
I guess that it wouldn't be so odd if there wasn't also the opposite group of guys. Those who will say fewer than 10 words, use a fake name and only call me from pay phones and park their cars on another street. These extreme opposites amuse me, though I actually understand the paronia more than the free font of information. If someone sees their time with me as something that they shouldn't be doing or as cheating on their spouse, then they are bound to take a few extra precautions, or if they are very deep in the closet and a member of some conservative political or religeous party (I do have clients like that, and I know because they told me, so maybe that shoots a hole in that theory).
Now it is true that there are those clients who think of our time together and a normal paid transaction, an exchange of services and monies. These people usually feel no guilt and would never consider what we are doing as a form of cheating since their is no emotional attachment. I am simply a very expensive sex toy that makes them fell good all over.
What brought this all to mind is that a recent client contacted me using his professional email address that had his name as the address. He is a semi-famous professor and author with a lovely wife and a couple of children and he contacted me asking specifically for a sensual massage. Now, a lesser type of person may have used this information for a possible extra gain. Thank god I am not that type of person.
Now, that being said, obviously such things enter my mind. To me, it is a funny passing thought. To others, it may not be. I hate to say that there are dishonest people in my business, but there are. In these tough economic times, I would be a little extra careful about how much and what kind of personal information you share with your bodyworker. A lack of money can make the kindest, sweetest, most honest person go a little crazy and do things that they would normally never do. Just be careful out there.

Unpleasant times

Sorry for the delay. I have a lot on my mind again and bit of an issue trying to put it all in to words.
I want to write a much longer post soon, but I think it will help if I get this off my chest first.
For anyone considering a profession similar to mine, I must remind you that it has it's pitfalls. A couple of weeks ago, I had a very unpleasant encounter. I have been very fortunate since these are very few and far between, but I do believe that it should still be discussed.
The encounter was with a client who had seen me once before, almost a full year before, I keep good enough records that I can usually look something like that up. It was a sensual massage, not much different than a lot that I do. The client was a big guy in his late 30's early 40's. When it was over, he compliments my work, gets dressed and says "I'll pay you next time." Money being as tight as it is, and the fact that the last time I saw this guy was a year ago, I protest.
I explain that I don't do business that way and if he needs to get some cash, I will happily walk across the street with him while he gets some out of the ATM. He starts on about how I can trust him, and I push on with I just don't do business like that. He then takes out a wad of money, peels off a $20 bill, tossing it on the table and says "here, how's that?"
I remind him of what the cost is and he claims he has never paid that much. I explain that I have not increased my rates since the last time he saw me and with tip, he paid me more than that last time.
He then gets angry. He starts to leave and I stand before the door blocking his path, I want my money. He threatens me with violence. Now, I have to decide if he is serious and what is worth it. I inform him he still owes me money and if ever wants to see me again, he needs to pay. Now he starts in on how that's not fair, I argue what he is doing to me is not fair, he still refuses to pay and is getting more and more angry. I now say fine, go, but don't bother calling again, I will not take you as a client. He throws down another 20 and asks how about now? You are almost halfway there I reply. He curses and storms out. I block his number on my phone.
All in all I was lucky. He did not hit me, or worse. I got about half the money. I know the economy is bad and that can really drive people crazy. I don't think he was on drugs (though I may be wrong) and he wasn't drunk.
This can happen to any massage therapist, sensual work or not, who works on their own. I have been short changed before, but never threatened with violence, again, I have been lucky. It has made me long for the day when I went to a mindless job and collected a big fat check for little work. I never thought I would say that.
Most of my clients are wonderful people and most of the time I really enjoy my work, but with the economy being so bad..... this is not really worth it.
Here is hoping that December and the new year will bring me some better work and money. - Jack

Alone and thinking

Alas, the economy did not instantly resolve itself with the election results. I was kind of hoping it would. I was ill most of last week, just a cold, but the kind of blowing my nose every 90 seconds type cold, so I was unable to take any clients. You simply cannot be dripping snot while leaning over a client.
Business has been slow this week as well. A lot of calls asking for particulars but not a lot of bites and even a couple of cancellations from regular clients. This has left me with time on my hands. Yesterday I did the laundry including curtains, rugs and blankets and made a big batch of chicken soup from scratch (including making home broth first). Today I was catching up on papers I have been meaning to read, some taped shows I hadn’t watched and some general cleaning.
I noticed that the yard crew for my apartment building were blowing the fallen leaves around and since my apartment is on the end I get a 180 degree view of the outside world. Now I hate to talk ill of someone in a forum where they cannot defend themselves, but the yard crew is pretty awful. In the summer as they mow the lawn, they will mow around fallen branches instead of picking them up, any steep incline in the lawn they will only cut once a month and they blow the clippings off the sidewalks visible from the rental office and leave the rest. Today they are blowing the fallen leaves visible from the rental office and what is worse, they are blowing them across the parking lot to the neighboring property where someone else will have to deal with them. Since they are not actually picking up and disposing of any of the leaves, the next good storm we have will blow them all around again. This is why when I shovel the snow in the winter, I end up shoveling leaves as well. Yes, that is right, I shovel the snow here at my apartment. I don’t get paid but when I wait for the "crew" it takes days for them to get to it and then they only do a path on shovel wide, looks like a five year old did it. I just go out when it is still fresh and clear the sidewalks that I and my neighbors use in an hour. Many of my neighbors are elderly and will not leave until the sidewalks are cleared.
Well anyway, this has little to do with Bodywork except that it made me think of the guys who tell me that they see me for the "Extras" because they have problems at home. Some have not had sex with their significant other in years or only have really dull sex once a month or so. They blame this on their partners (male or female) lack of desire or inadequacy at sex. OK, so there may be an issue, but have you tried to deal with it? Tried to talk about it rationally? Have you sought counseling? Worked on it together? Or was it just pushed aside and ignored so that you can go looking like you have a good life but sneaking off to get your jollies elsewhere? It sounds like I am judging and perhaps I am to a certain extent, but I would really like to see people happy in their primary relationships. I am not saying that your relationship has to fit the "Christian American" model, but a relationship based on trust and openness is very important. A good relationship with a good sex life takes a certain amount of work. You shouldn’t be lazy or take your relationships for granted.
There are times when everyone goes through a rough patch or a dry spell in any relationship. My partner and I have had to deal with it and sometimes it was difficult. We sought counseling once that did help. Most importantly, we have each looked at our sex lives with a new perspective. We do not panic if a week or even two goes by with no sex, but then a concerted effort must be made so that we don’t loose that connection. Sometimes that means just talking about it, other times that may mean setting up a date night, or a kinky surprise or even a romantic get away, but the important thing is we make an effort.
I believe the service I offer are therapeutic in nature and can help a lot of guys with a lot of things. Hopefully, some will read this and I can help them re-capture what they may have lost in at home. - Jack

Scent of a man

First off, let me say that a while back I ranted about doing favors for friends who only seem to ask about me when they need a favor and now I need to eat those words at least a little. I was asked recently to give a ride to someone that I wouldn’t consider a close friend but rather an acquaintance. This favor did mean that I had to change some plans and go a bit out of my way but I did it anyway. Much to my surprise this acquaintance gave me a wonderful gift that was worth far more than my inconvenience. So, thank you to the wonderful kind people in the world. I don’t do favors for gifts but they are nice.
OK, on to something a little steamier. I am big supporter of showering before you head over to your massage therapist, if you can’t then ask them if you can use their shower before you get your massage and realize that the time should count as part of your table time. At the very least give yourself a quick wipe down in the bathroom before the massage, however, there is for every rule, an exception. A young man visited me last week, it was his first visit, and he did not use the bathroom to freshen up before we started, even though I offered it as I always do. At this point, I assume he probably just showered so I excuse myself to allow him to undress and get on the table while I wash my hands.
I come back in and get to work. It is not long before I realize that he is not exactly fresh, however, his scent is very intoxicating. He has that one in a million body odor that smells amazing, and when I say one in a million, I mean it. I am not the kind of guy who is into the whole "Scent of a man" thing, who gets off on smelly pits, nor can I stand the scent of most colognes or deodorants, I just like a nice clean smell. But this guy’s scent is musky, sweet, salty and not overwhelming at all and gives me an instant boner. I am dressed since we had not discussed sensual massage, but the clothes that I am wearing, in this case a lightweight pair of pajama style pants and tank shirt, are providing little help in hiding my excitement. The man is lying face down and unable to see the state of my penis so now I must be careful not to bump him with it. I focus all my thoughts on the job at hand of giving this man the best possible massage, finding knots and working them out, treating each muscle group with care and compassion, but that scent is now filling the room.
There is a belief among bodyworkers that sexual energy is fed from one person to another during a session so if one person becomes aroused the other person will also become aroused, even without any intentional arousal techniques being used. I know that I often will get aroused with a client who is aroused from the get go and that our erections will often come and go at the same times. I am just very used to the client being the first one to be aroused. I am working the young man’s shoulders quite hard when I notice his hips shifting occasionally. Either I am working him to the point of severe pain or he is becoming aroused. A couple of connecting strokes put me into a position where I can now see an erect penis protruding between his legs, leaking pre-cum. This is adding to his man scent and the smell of sex is radiating through the room. Ever notice that some men have very strong smelling cum and others have almost no scent at all?
By the time I have worked the back of his body and am finishing with his butt, he is covered in a light sheen of sweat. My hands are sliding and at time just plain slipping since the sweat combining with the massage cream has made his body far more slick than what I am used to. I have ignored his erection and the scent in the air, my erection has never subsided but I have successfully kept it from hitting his body. This was set up as a legit massage session and other than his leaking erection he has made no moves to alter that arrangement and as a professional, neither will I. I have no idea what to do with my erection when he turns over, it will simply be there for him to see, of course, so will his. I am working his slippery glutes when my hand slips into the crack and makes contact with his puckered sphincter. He gasps. I apologize for the slip. He says nothing. I finish the glutes with great care and finish with long flowing connecting moves and total wipe down with a towel. It is time to turn over.
As he turns over, I can’t help but notice the size of the wet spot from his dripping penis. The movement of his body also stirs the air and renews the scent of sex in the room. I move about getting him water and rearranging towels and the headrest and he appears not to notice my erection, neither does he try to hide his own. He settles down and I work his chest. I graze his nipples occasionally to see if there is any reaction, there appears to be none. I move down to his abs, no six pack here but not too soft either. His penis is dripping into a literal pool just above his pubic hair line. It mixes with the massage cream as I work in circles over his abs. I work from one side of his body and then switch to the other. Finally I go for broke and slide my hand deliberately up and over his penis. He gasps and thrusts his hips in the air. I stroke slowly and firmly. For the first time he reaches for my crotch and finds the outline of my erection, he grabs hold firmly and shoots his load quite suddenly. He is not a distance shooter but there is a large volume that his penis seems to continually belch up. It is over so soon. There is the large pool of cum to wipe up and I give him another towel down over his body before continuing with the session. The smell of sex still hangs in the air and my erection hangs on as well. It is not I am giving the blessing while connecting his chakras at the end of the massage that I am aware that my penis has finally given up.
Again, I am not advocating not showering before a massage, quite the opposite; but every once in a million, I am glad that someone did not.

Sorry for the delay

Sorry that I have not written in the last couple of weeks. I will try to be better.
Update, had my wisdom teethe pulled and no major problems. Don’t ever want to go through it again, but all in all not too bad. One of the empty sockets is closing a bit slower than it should and I still have some dull pain, but the surgeon assured me that it is normal.
Well, what to talk about today. People seem to like the steamier stuff so I will see what I can do. The gentleman who tipped me $60 for his first prostate massage came back.
It is good to see him again. Still pretty certain that he has had next to no man on man action before. He is very careful to make sure that his hands come nowhere near my pelvic regions. He asks to skip the Prostate massage but really wants a full massage with release. He again has no issue with personal nudity as he starts stripping the moment he walks in the door, but never makes a request for me to disrobe, so I did not. He is not too talkative but does let out the occasional moan and groan. His hips do a bit of grinding as I work the inside of his thighs and also when I work his glutes.
He turns over, there is a damp spot on the table from his pre-cum and sticky line of juice coming from the tip of his rock hard penis. I work his chest and tease his nipples lightly, I work my way down his abs grazing the pubic hair line with every circular motion. I slide my hands up his penis and down over his balls to lightly brush his anus and work my way back again. I use one hand to slowly stroke him while the other wanders up to his chest to tweak his nipples and then down his abs again to the base of his penis to apply pressure to his pubic bone. The hand that has been stroking him works it’s way over his balls and then on to graze over his right inner thigh and then across the balls to the left inner thigh, down to lightly graze the anus and up again to the penis.
Then he starts to talk. "Oh my god that feels so good! Where did you learn to do that?"
"Practice" I reply.
"How does my penis compare to others?" He is looking me directly in the eyes. I am not sure if he is looking for praise or reassurance.
"It’s a nice sized penis." It is. It is slightly above average, not much. He is very thin man so it looks good on him. I know that he must have looked at other men’s penises before but probably not too many erect ones. My mind is now thinking about how many I have seen, a number far too great to even consider.
"Oh god, take it easy, I don’t want to cum yet!"
I hear this phrase a lot, especially with newbies. They want to ride the wave that will ultimately end in orgasm as long as possible. Something that they only do here, on my table. When with their regular partners, their goal is to achieve orgasm, not to put it off. I oblige for a few more moments. I have an agenda as well. I have a massage to give, this intermission of sexual bliss is to be only a small part of an overall experience. This is not a sexual encounter, but a full bodywork session. My hands continue to explore a terrain that they are very familiar with but is never quite the same twice. As the client continues his journey of sexual awakening, the response to each touch and stroke changes.
"Oh god, this is so good"
I never would have thought he was so religious, but god has entered into almost every sentence he has uttered. I am to the teasing point now, his balls have drawn up inside his body completely. He could have come some time ago now and it is just my whim that will say yes or no to each moment. I glance at the clock and do a bit of quick math to determine the amount of time left in the session and the amount of work I have to do after he cums. It is time. Instead of speeding up my strokes I slow way down and tighten my grip slightly. My left hand is pressing on his pubic bone and the fingers wrapped around the base of the cock, the tips stroking his scrotum. Slowly my right hand slides up, almost all the way off the penis, and then just as slowly all the way down, again and again. His hips are thrusting into the air, his back is arching, the muscles in his legs are taught, his mouth is agape, his face twisted, he is gasping for breath. Then the yell.
"Aaarrgh, oh god, oh god, oh god" he repeats as volleys of cum fly through the air. He is quite the shooter with the first volley flying over his head, the second hitting him across the left side of his face, the third and fourth land on his chest and the last few spit up on abs. His body convulses even after the wad has been thoroughly shot. I squeeze and milk the penis to make sure it is empty as much as to tease him. He falls silent. I grab a hand towel and start to clean the mess, it is everywhere but the gob on his face must be removed first before he is fully aware that it is there. As I clean, I straighten out his limbs again from the twisted positions where they had landed before he went limp.
"Very impressive" I say. He grins sheepishly.
This is always an interesting moment for me cleaning the client who is lying there in a nearly helpless state. No one is ever self conscience in this moment. It is what it is, a spent man having his fluids wiped off him by his nurturing bodyworker. Having finished wiping him down, I continue the session with leg stretches, a potentially awkward situation for a naked client but he is too satisfied to care.
His eyes have closed and he is drifting away. I have often wanted to photograph client’s faces at this moment. There is a serenity in their look mixed with just a touch of happiness. This is how one would like to believe they look when asleep. This is the look that one should have when they die. It is a look that appears differently on each countenance but is always the same.
We finish and I give him his water and let him know what I found while working his body, the stiffness in the right side of his back and in his right hip; from his years breaking horses he tells me. I tell him I hope that he got what he was looking for out of today's session.
"Better than any blow job." I thank him for what I assume is a compliment. He hops up, again not shy at all, though most men are not at this point; after all I have seen and touched everything by this point. He dresses quickly and rifles through his wallet and places the cash on the table.
"Do you need any change?"
"Naw, I’m good. Thanks again " and he heads out the door with his bottle of water. I start cleaning up and count out the cash he left behind. Another $60 tip, I am surprised, but pleased. I guess he was happy. - Jack

OK, I am back, I think and whether or not the wife knows.

Had the teeth pulled, it hurt, not as bad as I expected, but it hurt. It is over a week later and I still have some pain. Of course I had 4 teeth ripped out of my head, there will be some pain, it will pass soon. I am out of vicadin but the ibuprofen is working ok.
There is still a lot going through my head but I think I will be able to focus a little better.
What is most on my mind is a conversation I had with a client about whether or not his wife suspected that he was seeking sexual gratification elsewhere and whether she suspected it was with a man. They have been married for many years and have a few grown children.
My answer was she knows something is up. I have never met a woman or any spouse for that matter who did not suspect something when their spouse was stepping out. Whether the spouse was just getting sex else where, or a full fledged relationship or even an online affair with someone they have never met in person; the spouse knows. The longer the couple has been together, the greater the chance that the spouse knows. They will pick up on changes in behavior from daily habits to emotional subtleties. They know. Now whether they know it is with a person of the same sex or not can vary.
Most women will know, but not all. Most women are blessed with gaydar almost as good as any gay man’s. Even if they don’t have it, they usually have a friend (female or gay male) who will help them out. I have often been asked my opinion of whether someone’s spouse may have same sex leanings or not. I have always given my honest opinion with the disclaimer that I do not know for certain unless they have sucked my dick. I then ask the follow up question, does it matter? Seriously, does it matter? If he is a good husband, father, treats you well and is discreet, does it matter?
For generations it has not. In American society it has been common that gay men would marry women and have families with them and fool around with their "buds" on the sly. In modern African-American society it is referred to as being on the "down-low." As long as it was discreet, most women didn’t care or chose to ignore it, perhaps feeling shame or that society dictated that they needed a husband, whatever. Today we would like to think that we are above that, that gay men don’t feel the need to marry women to prove themselves to society and their families. That may be true for young men in major metropolitan areas, there are still many men who are older or living in more "traditional" societies that being openly gay is just not an option.
So what about today’s women? Do they care? The answer depends on where they are in their lives and what their personal society is like. If they think that they being married to a gay man is better than not being married, they may not care, or at least accept it on some level. However many women will feel hurt, angry, betrayed and will want out. That is their right and privilege. There is also the issue of sexually transmitted diseases that can be brought home. The "down-low" practice is at least partially responsible for the growing Aids rate in the African-American society. It is often these married closeted men that are looking for sex in bathrooms, parks and sex clubs (not all of them are married, but a lot of them are). There are still other women who are most accepting and want to get in on the action. Don’t believe me? Check out ww.craigslist.com and do a search for MW4M under casual encounters. Some women will say "thank-god because I really want to do my best friend Heather!"
I believe that every married man that is having sex with men should buck it up and be honest with their wives. Let the women have a choice. This is an unpopular opinion among married men and I usually keep my mouth shut unless the conversation steers itself in that direction. I know many men who came out to their wives and things worked out fine. Some stayed together, some did not, but all felt much better having released this secret that was keeping them apart from their partners.

Forgive me if I go astray

My mind is all over the place today, maybe I had Attention Deficit Disorder, so forgive me if this post goes all over the place.
You see the economy is going further south and my phone has pretty much stopped ringing. Fortunately I had a couple of good weeks in Sept and tried like hell not to spend any unnecessary money. Even though both my parents and my partner’s parents needed some extra help this month.
Now that may sound like a negative comment and may appear to some people that I have an unhappy life and am always bitching. Not really true but I do understand that thought process. If you look at the world of blogs you find many that sound very depressing and just a few overly positive ones. The reason is that many people use their blogs to vent so that they are not venting on their friends all the time. Everyone needs to vent once in a while and bitch about their jobs or the economy or politics, it is a natural thing to do. Let me assure you that though I use my blog for venting once in a while, I generally have a very happy life and most days really like doing bodywork, and I love my partner and our parents (OK, I have never met his asshole father, but that’s another story).
You see, when I started this blog, it was confessions of a bodyworker, what he thinks and feels, what he can’t say to his partner, friends, and clients. Anonymity is key to this kind of writing, unfortunately my ego got the better of me and wanted feedback so I let a couple of friends in on the blog and a couple of my clients figured it out as well. This has lead to limited censorship on my part, I try my best to not let it influence my writing, but in truth it has to a small degree. Not anything significant so far, but some stories that would have been a treat to tell, I have left out of the on-line stuff, maybe I will put it in the book.
Anyway, with the economy going south and me finding myself with free time on my hand but afraid to leave the apartment in case someone calls and wants a last minute appointment, I have way too much time to think.
For example, I realize that I fewer friends in my life these days. Why? Well some have moved on or some have faded away but mainly because I don’t meet a lot of new people these days. Clients are clients and not really appropriate for friend type gatherings, so I am not meeting people at "work" as I often have with other jobs. I haven’t been doing many extra curricular activities such as theater or classes since money has been tight and I haven’t felt right about it. Now I still have a very tight inner circle of friends but that really needs to be expanded as it grows a little smaller each year.
Now I just want to state the nothing said in this post applies to anyone I know who might be reading this. I am not writing about the people who know that I keep this blog. That said, I do have a fair number of needy friends. That is, I tend to mainly hear from them when they need help with something, either to talk about a problem they are having, or a ride somewhere, or help moving. I am a nice guy and pretty much always help out in these situations. I care that someone maybe having a mental breakdown, especially someone I know and of course I will listen to them and try to help anyway I can. Yes, it is incredibly inconvenient for me to drive several miles out of my way late at night to give you a ride, but I am technically available so I will help you, even though you do not even offer me gas money. No, I have never asked your help when I have moved, but I will help you out even though I don’t really want to eat that take-out cheese pizza and warm beer. Obviously I am not a saint since a saint would never bitch about these things. I do assume that each and every person I have ever helped would do the same for me if I asked them and if they were available. Many came through for me when my friend died last year or when my partner and I were having difficulties a few years ago. If only one of them had way for me to get rich quick!
Speaking of which, that is another thought that is desperately racing through my head, with the economy in cellar, what am I going to do for money? My partner is working (2 jobs in fact, which is actually make me feel really guilty), but we are still having a bit of a rough time. The parental issues don’t help, but what are you going to do? Tell your parents "Sorry, but you will just have to go without heat for at least the first part of the winter, maybe we can help you after that." Of course not, and I happy to help our parents. So it means a few less meals out and no cable, big deal, it is the right thing to do.
So, I need more money. I have registered with the Temp agencies again, trying not to feel like the biggest failure in the world. I am not. I know that I am not, it is just that no seems interested in someone who once worked as an EEO Counselor for a govt agency with a theater degree who has been working as bodyworker for last several years. I am also considering going back to school for my masters. I have a BFA which is only good for saying that "yes, I graduated from college." If I take a couple of extra courses, I could go for the MBA which would help if I go back to Corporate, an idea I dread on the one hand, but on the other hand the money was good. I would be happiest running my own business, but I would really need some classes before I would feel comfortable dealing with anything beyond the simple stuff I do for my bodywork business. Then there is the question of what kind of business would be best for me? One would assume something in customer service industry. I could go to school for a degree in sexual therapy. I have thought seriously about this. I am just worried that I may end up in the same boat I am in now. Most sexual therapists work for themselves and charge only slightly higher rates than I do now, so it would then depend on supply and demand. I know a couple of counselors who list sex therapy under their specialities and do make more money than I overall, but still are hurting when the economy tanks.
My partner is feeling particularly stressed these days with my income decreasing and his working two jobs and more people wanting money from us. We should be investing in our futures at this time in our lives and we are struggling to make ends meet instead. Though overall, I still am enjoying my life.
The Dentist wants me to get my wisdom teeth pulled. Fortunately I have insurance through my partner and most of the expenses are covered, the bad news is I will be unavailable for bodywork for a few days at least. A few days of nothing but soup and soft foods may be very good for me.
Had an interesting client the other day, a Pakistani, I don’t get many of them. He’s been living in the states a number of years though he still has a thick accent. He is married but definitely likes to play with men. He is cool with that idea, but if his Pakistani relatives or friends ever found out, it would be the end of his world. Even in America it is the culture of the people who surround you that matters most, not the general culture of the country. He has a great business career and is afraid it would collapse if word ever got out. Of course the white CEO of a Fortune 500 company told me the same thing just before asking me to stick my entire hand up his butt (I didn’t do it).
I have been trying to practice the power of positive thinking and "the secret" (a very dull read by the way). I think my biggest issue is that I don’t really know what I want. I can name things and a few random ideas: money, a house, love, peace, happiness (not necessarily in that order) but as far as a career, no clue anymore. Of course the way the politics in this country are going, it may all be a mute point.
Overall I am very grateful for my loving partner, a roof over my head (rental that it may be), food on the table and a handful of really good friends. Somehow I always thought that should be enough. It is only as I get older that I worry about getting older. I am not afraid of physically growing old, but of being old and broke. That is why I must focus my energy on positive things like "money comes freely and easily."
I will end this here, my head is calming down and I think I need a nap. - Jack

Look Ma, just my hands!

My job is all about touch, be it a therapeutic massage to relieve sore muscles or a relaxing Swedish massage to calm a person’s nerves or an erotic massage to bring them to the heights of ecstacy, it is all about my touch.
While I do have a fair amount of training on different techniques, most people in this field will admit that there is a gift of touch that you either have or you don’t. Many of the graduates of the best massage schools can pass their exams with flying colors and get certified anywhere in the country, but that does not mean that they have the gift. Likewise, many people can instinctively start massaging another person with amazing results, having never taken a class in their life.
When I am giving a massage, I spend a lot of my energy focusing on what I see, hear and feel as I work. My hands are feeling for knots and tight muscles while my eyes are watching for non-verbal responses from the body and my ears are listening for slightest moan or gasp as I try to figure what the body on the table needs most from me. That is why I sometimes really like to remain clothed for at least part of the massage so I can fucus on the therapeutic aspects of a massage. Even in the most erotic massages, I still focus on relieving stress and sore muscles, with my focus there, odds are I will not have an erection if the client starts feeling around for one. My fear of course is that they will think that they are not attractive enough to arouse me, when in truth, my mind is just too far from my body and too focused on theirs.
With my several years of experience, I have often been told that I have given many men the best orgasms of their lives. All of this is just with the use of my hands. Oh sure several men will only cum when they have a hand on my dick, but it is still my hands that are doing all the work.
I start every massage from a very "legit" point of view. I want to soothe and relax the body. Once the sore muscles have been soothed and the stress knots released and a general feeling of relaxation has been established, then the erotic part of the massage is much more effective. One of the keys to a good massage is to take your time, another reason for me stay clothed. You see, if I get aroused early in the massage I can get swept up in the erotic energy and start rushing to get to the orgasm. This short changes the client from getting the most out of the massage and leaves me trying to "fill" time at the end (this rarely happens). In a 90 minute massage, the client will often spend the first 30 minutes receiving just a back massage. The next 25 minutes or so are spent on spent on the feet, legs and buttocks. The next 5 minutes or so are spent on the erogenous zones around anal area, scrotum and penis if it is sticking out between their legs, then I ask them to turn over, so they have spent the first hour lying on their stomach with very little "erotic" touch.
Once they have turned over I spend 5 on the chest, 5 on the abs, then I usually focus on the cock, balls, anus and nips until they orgasm. The rest of the time is divided up on stretches, massaging legs, arms, face and the back of the neck. A full body massage from head to toe is the object. Given my preference, I would not undress until I was ready to start the erotic work while they are still on their stomach. The rest of the time my focus should be on the client’s muscles and stress relief and not worrying about whether I have a hard on or not. Not that I complaining about doing all nude massage as long as the client is cool with my erection coming and going.
Anyway, back to touch. Most clients are amazed that I can make them feel so good using only my hands, whether it is relieving their stress or rubbing their dick or massaging their prostate. Natural gifts have a lot to do with it, but so does taking my time. I know that a lot of my readers have partners or either or both sexes, I wonder how many have tried to make love to another with just their hands. I am not talking about a 90 second hand job, but exploring every inch of your partner with just your hands. Finding out how they are put together and what makes them feel good. Really taking the time to rub and caress every inch of your partner with nothing but your hands can be an awesome experience. You may find that this is easiest if you remain clothed, don’t let yourself get too caught up in the erotic energy that it causes you to rush. Set a timer somewhere in the room and start with just exploring your partner’s backside for at least 30 minutes, and I am talking every inch. I am not talking about trying to give a therapeutic massage, but just lovingly caressing every inch of your partner. You will probably want to use a moisturizing cream or maybe an oil (though I am not a fan of oils). After the timer goes off, have them turnover and reset the time for 30 minutes and again explore every inch. I would recommend that you avoid the genitals until after the timer goes off the second time so that you have spent and entire hour exploring your partner. Once the timer has gone off the second time, you can then approach the genitals again, just using your hands and take your time, use a normal lubricant for sex on them if needed. If you see them getting close to orgasm, back off a couple of times, let the erotic energy really build. Once they are super charged and beyond ready, bring them to orgasm, again, only using your hands. Try not to think about your own aching sex organs, this time is about your partner. When they have finished, then you can whip it out and take care of yourself all over them (don’t let them help you in anyway besides watching, don’t disturb the peace you have brought to them by making them work). Towel everybody off and just lay together under a blanket for 30 minutes, enjoying the moment.
If they want to reciprocate, schedule that for another night, and let them read this first so they understand the goals. I think that you will find that your hands can be the best sex organs you have and will be able to bring you both to amazing orgasms.

First times

Do you remember each time that you lost your virginity?
I am not sure that I do. I remember the first time I had sex with a woman, her name was Sally. It was in college and I just really wanted to loose it. She was somebody I barely knew, a couple of years older than I, a bit larger and we had both been drinking. I took her to the house that I shared with several other people and took her to my single bed where we did the deed, it lasted about 3 minutes. I then left her in the bed and went to sleep on the couch. I later learned that another one of my roommates had taken the virginity of another casual acquaintance that same night and yet another roommate came staggering in the next morning having also had a one night stand to get over her ex who had decided that he was gay. I also got crabs from that first experience.
A couple of weeks later, I was hit on by a male bartender at one of my favorite bars. I excused myself and left quickly thinking that would be the end of it and that I had handled myself very well. Instead I was plagued with thoughts of what I had not done and decided that if the situation came up again, I would act on it. After all, I was in college and that was where you were supposed to learn about all that life had to offer. So I went back to the bar a couple of days later and hung out till it was closing time and we went to the office in the basement and had very awkward sex, basically just mutual masturbation. Again I thought that would be that, but being young and horny I went back and we tried several other things. I was also hanging with a very nice girl at the time but we never had sex, not that she didn’t want to, but I figured I should try to make up my mind about what I wanted before I do anything with her as I didn’t want to hurt her. When I decided I was gay, she was the first person I told. It still hurt her.
I remember the first time that the bartender and I tried anal sex. I was on the receiving end and just could not relax enough, I was very scared. I thought that the bartender and I were dating and exclusive but alas one day he announces his engagement to a girl from the college. She and I ended up getting into a bitch fight when she discovered that he also played with boys. Whatever. I left town. He later got married to another girl from college and about 5 years later got ill and died of Aids.
What I don’t remember is the first time that I successfully had anal sex. I know that it was after college. Aids was in the news every day and I was terrified of anal sex, even if condom was involved, so you would think that I would well remember who, when and where I lost that cherry either as a top or as a bottom. For whatever reason, it is gone from my mind, I don’t know if it was good or not. I know that when I had my first long term relationship it was not that big of a deal anymore, I still played safe but I was in love. We were both very proud to be "versatile" but in reality we were both wanting to be tops.
So why is this on my mind? Well, I know that on several occasions in my business, I have been somebody’s first time with another man. I am not their first anal experience, unless you count first prostate massage, but still, in a world of so many firsts, where do I fall and will I be part of that list that they remember for ages to come?
I have seen how my time with a man can change them forever. After several sessions with me, many men gain the confidence to look for male to male sexual experiences on a non professional basis. They will often tell me of their other experiences, good and bad. I have heard from men how they never knew that sex could be that good until they started experiencing male to male sex. I have no idea if any of them have ever found love with another man, at least none have told me about that. I would hate to think that our experiences together lead them to believe that sex with men is to be void of emotions, especially when those that fall for me I often have to end up pushing away.
I have often also been the first extramarital experience for several men, straight or gay. It is a safe place to have an outlet when things are dull at home. Here is where the exchange of money and lack of emotional demands is usually appreciated. Though there have been a couple of these situations where feelings developed over time which made things incredibly awkward. I was suddenly in the roll of a possible home wrecker, not exactly what I had signed up for, and they often feel very hurt.
On the other hand maybe I will be forgotten as well, like I cannot for the life of me remember actually losing my anal virginity. I guess it doesn’t matter, but I do think about it at times.
Though I would never break my self made vow of discretion, I do worry about the wives of the "straight" men who come to me. Knowing that eventually they will look elsewhere for more than I am willing to offer, I hope that they will play safe and not take anything home to their wives. I often feel, and have told a number of them that like to chat, that the wife should be told if man to man sex is something that the husband has decided that he needs in his life. Most will never say anything. I think that most spouses are aware when their significant other is getting something on the side, especially if it goes into the emotional realm. Generally speaking, if you suspect something, there is something to worry about. I believe in open communication so that the spouse can make up their mind what it is that they want. Who knows, maybe they will be fine with it. Maybe they have their own thing on the side. Maybe they are looking for permission to explore their own sexuality, or maybe they want a "don’t ask, don’t tell" policy. You just don’t know until it is brought out in the open. There are number of reasons I hear for not telling the spouse like "I don’t want to hurt them" or "I don’t want them to leave, I still love them" or my personal favorite "the bitch would take all my money."
To bring this around to the beginning, if I am their first, then let me be the first to give you my advice as well. Always play safe and be as honest with yourself and your other as you possible can be.

What makes a good sexual experience?

I like sex, I don’t think that is a big secret, most people do. As a wise women (Mae West) once said “When sex is good, it’s great, but even when sex is bad, it’s still good.” But what makes sex great?

There can be a lot of answers to this depending on who you ask. Some say that it takes love to make sex great. Some say you have to really know your partner while others think that sex with a stranger is best. Some say it is best when it means something while others say that the more animalistic the sex the better. Some think it takes a taboo or a kink to make great sex and some say an element of danger. Some say physical attraction and others say emotional attraction and still others say mental attraction and some say attraction doesn’t matter at all.

For me it has little to do with how well I know the person, I have had great sex with strangers and lovers. It has little to do with looks, while the “right” look may get me in the mood faster, I have had sex with all shapes and sizes and ages and a lot of was really good. I have also had really lousy sex with all of the above. Kink, taboos and danger can be exciting but rarely create a great scene for me by themselves.

Personally, I believe it is the right combination of intentions. The best sex I have ever had in my life is when the intention on each party’s part was to please the other physically in a way that each partner also found pleasing. Case in point, I am a top and when I find a bottom that loves to bottom and will really get off on pleasing me I will most happily pound the hell out of them anyway that they like because I want to please them as well. You might find a guy who loves to suck and cums all over your feet while taking your dick down his throat (that’s hot). On the other hand, if I find myself with someone who just wants to please me and is not interested in my pleasing them, we have a problem. I can and will step up to the plate and play the role of the demanding very verbal top who doesn’t care about who or what is on the other end of my prick so long as I shoot my load, but it really isn’t as much fun for me. It might be good sex, but it isn’t great sex. Conversely if I run into someone who is just interested in getting themselves off and not in my satisfaction, I will be greatly disappointed.

It’s not that I don’t understand these ideas. With my partner there are times that I may not be that interested in getting off but if he is horny, I will gladly help him out and be there for his pleasure and not for mine. It is one of the reasons that many men like my massage. It is not about me but all about them. They can just lie there and receive pleasure and not worry about getting me off.

There are many men who have a great difficulty with this concept and really want to get me off during our time together, while I will allow them to play with my dick to help get them off, I do not get off for my clients as it leads to unreasonable expectations for the future. I can not get off with every client since I often have multiple clients in a day and I would have nothing left for my partner. There are also days that after a couple of clients I just want to get off, if my partner isn’t interested in having sex himself he may be willing to just service me and I am fine, other times I just take matters into my own hands.

Duration can have a lot to do with it for me as well. While a quickie can be nice for relieving some tension, I have rarely found that to be great sex. I know that not everyone is up for a marathon of sex, but it doesn’t have to end when somebody gets off either. Unless I am dog tired, I will keep going if I get off first, with all the vim and vigor I can muster. I respect others that will do the same, hell, this often leads to a round two for one or both of us. I like a lot of foreplay. I like being erect and excited and playful for a good long time. OK, so those who know me well know that I have what many have called “amazing dick control.” It comes with the territory. If you make a living giving naked massages and don’t want to cum with each client, you learn to control your orgasm. I was playing with a few guys a while back and one of them commented “you have three guys trying to get you off for 20 minutes and you still haven’t cum, what the hell?” My response was “I wasn’t aware that was the goal.” Seriously, I thought we were just playing with each other. No one else had cum yet, I thought this was supposed to be a marathon situation. I can cum quickly when I want to. For me it is all a matter of mental state. I will or will not give myself permission to ejaculate, I will tune in and out of the situation of what is happening to my dick. If my focus is on someone else instead of myself, the situation can last a long time. I do have my physical triggers as many men do, for me it is usually having my balls played with or being rimmed (rimming because I don’t get to experience that nearly often enough) but unless I am just out of my mind horny, I can control my orgasm for very long periods of time.

Expectations can also have an effect on good or great sex. Great sex for me is often a surprise encounter; where as if I have been fantasying of an experience with someone and I finally get my chance, it can be a let down. There was this guy in college who was a friend of mine and had become a bit of a sexual legend in his own time. Well, I got my chance to bed him and was so disappointed; it was a down right awkward experience. I am sure if we had tried it again it would have been better, but who knows.

Some would call it chemistry; I say it is matter of guessing the correct buttons to push. Every time I get a new client on the table for a sensual massage I have a lot of choices to make as to what I think will really turn them on. Fortunately I have an hour or more of touching their body to help me figure it out. Who takes that amount of time in a first sexual experience? Maybe we all should. When two people have sex for the first time their can be a lot of trial and error. Sometimes you guess right, sometimes you guess wrong. When both are guessing right it can be great, if both guess wrong, well then it is only good. Actually this can happen with a partner you have been with for years as well, hopefully after a number of years they will be open and honest enough to verbally tell you when you are off the mark (and yes, the buttons can change on daily basis).

So what is the point of this post? None really. People can learn to be better at sex if there is a patient teacher but even pros can have an off day and the best sex is when both people are really into doing what pleases the other and happen to get off on those activities as well. Here’s hoping that you will find some great sex soon.

Choices

Ok, so the other day I had two of my favorite clients on the same day. This is truly an unusual occurrence. What makes a favorite client? Well, usually I would say their attitude and energy. However, while I am an equal opportunity bodyworker who will share a lot of myself with a lot of different types, I can still have a “type” that tickles my fancy more than any other. For example, someone within a few years of my age, tall, well proportioned, with an amazing ass that just happens to be a bottom will really make my job enjoyable.

So anyway, the first that came my way is a very sensual young man who likes a combination Deep Tissue and Sensual massage session. He usually likes a lot of anal work as well. Today however, he was not in the mood for anal, he still wanted a good sensual massage and he likes to see me naked so it was still fun.

So later in the day when James walked in, I was very happy. He is another who fits my perfect type. The kind of guy who makes me forget that I am doing this for money. Again, I like almost all of my clients, but I am not immune to something truly special. James comes to me looking for a massage and looking for some release. He has a great body, pretty face and is all bottom. Any time I get even close to his bubble butt he starts moaning and wriggling. When I start with prostate massage, he is nearly out of control, grabbing on to the table for dear life. He also has this lovely habit of lifting his torso every so often which only accentuates his butt.

It is extremely rare that I loose my self control with a client. There is the definite line that I draw, I can have fun as long as the client has a lot more fun, keep the focus on the client. I suddenly found myself walking all over that line with James. I wanted nothing more than to climb on the table and ravish his ass. This is a huge deal since I don’t go there with clients and as all bodyworkers know, the quickest way to loose a client is to have sex with him. This was not about love, it was all about lust, in fact I barely know James. He wanted a cock up his ass I wanted to give it to him. Two choices needed to be made right then, even though I was only thinking of one. I had to choose whether I was willing to cross that line and would it be worth it? In the heat of the moment, I was. With two fingers already up his ass and James moaning and thrashing on the table I lean down and ask “Do you want the real thing?”

Here is where the second choice came up… he replied “Oh god I want it, but, (long pause) I made a promise to my partner that I wouldn’t do that with anyone else.” Wow, I forgot that he had a choice, I mean I asked him but I thought at that time it was just a courtesy. I could deal with my commitments to my partner, I could deal with taking James, but there was nothing I could about his partner, whom I was not even aware of. So I came back to reality and said “of course, we will continue as normal.” I gave him a good prostate massage and then had him turn over and worked my way back down to his beautiful member and finished him off with three fingers in his ass and one hand on his dick.

Frustrating? Sure, a little, but only because I went someplace mentally that I should not have gone in the first place. I lost perspective of the distance that I need to keep as a professional.

We all have choices to make. Will we honor our vows? Will we honor our personal convictions? Will we throw ourselves into the passion of the moment? Most importantly, will we honor the choices of those around us at any given moment? As it turns out, I am very happy that we made the decisions we did. I found out later that I actually sort of know his partner. He is one of my favorite waiters, always friendly, remembers my drink orders, very attentive without ever interrupting, and always just a tad flirtatious. That reminds me, I need to go out to eat very soon…

It’s Happening All Over

I deal with married men who like to have sex with other man on a daily basis. It is just a part of my life these days.

I just got a call from a female friend of mine. Actually she is a friend of a friend, someone that I probably do not have a lot in common with. She is however fascinated by my willingness to discuss anything sexual and with my extensive knowledge of all sorts sexual things from BDSM to Swinging to WS to Bisexuality to what have you. What can I tell you, sex fascinates me.

Anyway, once we caught up on pleasantries and the little gossip that we have in common, she starts telling me why she is really calling. She has had her second lesbian experience. Not exactly what you expect to hear from a very pretty married mother of two. I have only met her husband once and then extremely briefly since he is incredibly homo-phobic, not my word, but her’s. She believes it is because he can’t accept his own latent homosexuality, apparently he had a weird experience in High School with one of his teachers who sucked his dick once (while this never happened to me, apparently it did happen repeated at my high school while I was there and for years afterward). Anyway, they have a rather unique relationship, at least I thought they did, but perhaps this really is the norm.

A few years ago, the husband whom we will start calling Mike for purposes of this tale, had a randy experience at his high school reunion, a blow job in the parking lot from the girl that got away. He felt terribly guilty and told his wife whom we will start calling Patty. She was angry, not because of what he’d done, after all blow jobs are some people’s way of saying hello, no Patty was angry because he told her. You see, this made it something that she had to deal with. If he had kept his big mouth shut and since this was a one time thing, life would have gone on “normally,” but with knowledge comes consequences. Her solution was to inform him that she would have an affair and they would be even, he would not get to know who or when, only that someday she would tell him that she had gotten even.

I would have assumed that Patty was the kind of girl who would have been satisfied with driving her husband crazy and never actually act on the threat. She is smart, pretty, successful and in the prime of her life with nothing to prove. She did however have an affair with a long lost flame, for quite a while. It was hot, sexy and fun. They were both married with no desire to end their relationships so it was safe. She only called it off when the long lost flame starting getting “attached” and wanting more. Patty was furious that he had to ruin a good thing.

So anyway, Patty and Mike are better and decide to have a couple of kids. Patty tells Mike that she has always been a little curious about a “same sex” thing. Being a red blooded “straight” American male, he thinks this sounds hot.

They decide to go to a club together and Patty sees a girl that trips her trigger and they start making out on the dance floor. Mike gets a bit uncomfortable watching so Patty takes the girl to the bathroom and “does the deed.” All of this happens before I have even met Patty, or at least gotten to know her in any personal way.

A couple of more years pass and Patty and I are talking and she is asking about homosexuality, her husband, etc. and I explain about the sliding scale where some people are only interested in same sex to the other end where a person is only interested in opposite sex relationships and that most people are somewhere in the middle and where they are can even change on a day to day basis. Well, this got her quite excited. We talk about a lot of the choices that the local area has as far as clubs and venues for meeting like minded people for everything from swinging, bisexuality, to some good old fashion S and M.

A few months pass and I meet up for drinks with Patty again. This is when she tells me about Mike and Patty’s best friends, a couple around their same age that they hang with. While their relationship has been pretty normal, Patty says that she and Rose will occasionally play little silly games in front of their respective hubbies, like lifting their shirts and rubbing their boobs together. I laugh imagining two straight men pulling their shorts down and rubbing their penis together, I mean it would just never happen, right? Of course they do like to pat each other asses, and bump chests and wrestle, hmmm. Anyway, Rose and her husband invite Patty and Mike over, Mike isn’t feeling well so Patty goes alone. There is a lot of drinking and a couple of their neighbors drop in and join in the drinking. So Patty and Rose are drinking and go out to the garage with one of the male neighbors and start playing around and one thing leads to another and the girls go all the way in front of the neighbor. Now, before you say, this sort of thing never happens I will argue that the first time I saw other people having sex in front of me was in college, saw it twice, both times were straight couples. I have seen people have sex several times since, but usually it was just a few gay men saying “Hello.” So at this time I thinking “Oh you silly straight people.”

Then I hear the rest of the story that blows me away. They tell their spouses. Rose runs off and tells her hubby who is apparently very cool with it and was extremely upset that he did not get to watch. Patty goes and tells Mike the whole thing including the neighbor watching and Rose’s husband reaction. Mike is not quite as optimistic as Rose’s husband, but there was little for him to say or do. She was honest. He had let her do it once before, so a precedent had been set. There were witnesses. It was with someone he knew and had seen her be “playful” with before. Everyone else had been cool with it, so if he wasn’t it would make him seem un-cool. He apparently is not the kind of guy who would put his foot down and say this is unacceptable. So there you have it, Patty has set up a situation where she is apparently free to no strings attached lesbian sex. Who knows, maybe this will get Mike over his fears and try some man on man sex again.

Another Good Week

Another good week (thank god). I was busy but not to the point of exhaustion. I had some really good clients and only one or two slightly annoying ones. I had a few new clients that seemed very happy.

One of the high-lights was the $60 tip that I got for giving a newbie his first prostate massage. He was in his mid-forties and was trying out the whole man to man thing. To be honest, I hear this a lot, so much so that I often don’t believe it. It is a fantasy that a lot of gay men play, to pretend to be straight and just experimenting. Just like it is the fantasy of a lot of gay men to convert a straight guy.

This one I believed. He did not tell me until the massage was over, but there were several little things that gave him away. First off there was the mullet hair cut combined with the half inch of carefully trimmed beard. He was tall, thin but definitely toned but not a gym body but the body of someone who has worked hard and not always eaten enough. The body of a man who has smoked, drank and partied hard more than once but not revived with daily moisturizers.

When he came in, I started with the usual questions about any aches or pains etc and he strips naked while chatting. This is also a bit unusual. Not that all gay men wait until I leave the room to strip, but the vast majority do, especially the underwear. He was also sporting a semi woody. Not that this has never happened, but it is again pretty rare, especially among those that strip naked in front of me. Besides the beard neatly trimmed to that odd ½ inch length, there was no other body grooming, again quite rare among gay men. I notice all this and the fact that his body is slightly crooked. He is giving me the details of the injuries that he has had in his life breaking horses and working rodeos. He does have the injuries and his legs are bowed. He reminds me a great deal of one of my other very straight clients, the hair cut, the beard, lack of manscaping, and general lack of modesty.

He gets on the table and I go to work on his shoulders and back, I remain clothed as I do with all new clients. I notice that one side literally has a hump and one shoulder is a good 3 inches higher than the other. I ask him if he has had this looked at and he replies that is the shoulder he usually lands on when thrown from a horse and where he has broken the most bones. As I work into some deep tissue he tells me that this is already the best massage he has ever gotten. He is a good client in that he is not fighting me or trying to help but rather just relaxing and letting me do the work. He does not pull away when my leg meets with his hand, neither does he try to reach for more. He is verbal when he likes what I am doing and occasionally moaning appreciatively. He remains relaxed when I work the lower-back/upper-glute area, no tensing up or table grinding.

I finish with light strokes on the back and then head to the feet to work my way back up. He allows me to manipulate his legs as I see fit, including leaving them spread rather wide. I hear more compliments on my techniques as I work the back of his legs. There is no reaction at all when my fingers graze first his scrotum and later his anus, he does not tense up, moan, or grind the table. I am assuming at this time that he came for a sensual massage, but this has not been discussed. He is not resisting nor is not asking for more verbally or through body language. I go for broke and do the under the leg move. This move involves one hand sliding under a hip from the outside to between the man’s legs where it meets the other hand that slides back with it effectively rubbing the inside of the crotch narrowly missing the penis but may or may not graze the scrotum usually causing a pretty intense erotic sensation. He is appreciative spreading his legs slightly farther apart. I work my way up the other leg and repeat all the moves.

I now work his glutes very hard, legitimately they are very tight. Just before I switch from one glute to the other, I work the fleshiness of his butt crack only lightly touching the anus. The legs are spread a little further apart. This is the time that almost all clients will try to rub my crotch since it is right at table height next to their hand. Normally their hand will first twitch, then the fingers reach out and slowly the hand will inch to the very edge of the table trying to make contact. This gentleman’s hand and fingers do not move at all, not even a twitch.

I do the end connecting full body strokes and again lightly tease his twitching anus. His penis is not showing so he is lying on it sandwiched under his belly but he is not grinding it into the table.

Time to roll over, I offer him water. He definitely has a full erection. He drinks the water greedily and lies down on his back. I start working on his chest with some deep strokes then switching to lighter as I work across his nips, they do not appear to be all that sensitive. I move to work on his abs, working in circles, his penis is still very hard and of course my hands are constantly bumping it as it lying on his stomach. His hands and fingers are still at his sides and show no intention of moving. I start stoking the penis and his balls and hips move instinctively up and down.

At this point I would like to remind everyone of the truth that once was spoken to my by a master of massage, “most men like some anal play, married men love it!” Though there is no ring on his finger, I have assumed he is indeed a straight man who is experimenting so I let a lubed finger slip down and rub gently on the exterior of his anus. Slowly the finger works a little harder until it starts to slowly slide in. I back off immediately and apply more lube and go back to work, this time the finger slides in quite quickly and starts exploring. Finding the prostate it starts a gentle, rhythmic stroke. He let’s out a moan.

“Oh man, is that like a prostate massage? Oh god that is great!” I assure him that it is indeed a prostate massage. I place my other hand on his penis again and he is gone in seconds. It’s over. I withdraw my finger slowly and release his penis. He is sensitive so I am very careful as I clean up the mess he made on his stomach, chest and neck. He is spent.

I finish the massage stretching his legs and rubbing down his arms. I spend some time on his neck and face and finish with the full body light strokes and the chakra blessing. He lies naked and unashamed. I cover him with a towel as I go to wash my hands. I return and ask if there was anything he needed or if I missed any spots. He is fine and tells me that he is very inexperienced with this sort of thing but he will definitely be back. The best massage he ever got. He dresses and leaves his money on the table and shakes my hand.

Once he is gone, I start cleaning up the linens and pick up the cash. $60 tip, how very sweet, he liked his first prostate massage. I hope he will be back. I hope he continues to look for what makes him happy. That is what the Dalai Lama says in the purpose of life, just to be happy.

Found this on the web

On a massage site for finding gay masseurs I found the following. Some of it was useful, some of it is humorous to me but overall, I approve. Do not expect every masseur to have read this, keep communication open, it is the key to a great experience.

Gay Male Massage Introduction

This section teaches about male on male massage and how to give and receive massages for men. It discusses how gay massage therapists can help clients relax, and discusses how to help your client experience extended or multiple relaxation as part of the gay male massage, with massages being with clothed or non-clothed male massage.

Gay massage therapists should perform a gay male massage while client is lying on a massage table. After preparing an enticing space, gay massage therapists can start with a sensual general massage before shifting the focus to your partner’s popular centers. For male on male massage, this is best done through verbal or non-verbal communication which allows the highest amount of stress relief and relaxation to be changed before the inevitable.

Set and Setting

Gay massage therapists should take the time to create a sensual and appealing environment for the gay male massage showing that you care about your client and value pleasure. You may wish to put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door, illuminate the room with either candles or soft indirect lamps, burn incense, and turn up the heat to where one would be comfortable, especially for a nude male massage. Keep your oils and other supplies within easy reach, and cover the massage table with a clean sheet and blanket.

Put on your favorite music. Some male on male massage clients are more comfortable with a pillow underneath their knees, head, or ankles. If it is a first gay male massage you should ask client’s preference especially for nude male massage.

When doing a massage for men, take a look at your fingernails and clip them if necessary.

Massage Oils & Supplies

When conducting nude male massage, the right kind of oil and supplies need to be used when massaging the entire body, especially certain areas. For massage for men, use oil-based, water-based, or silicone-based lubricants. Gay massage therapists can purchase special massage oils at massage for men supply shops.

When doing massage for men, it’s convenient to have flip-top squeeze bottles for oils, and a massage oil “belt.” For male on male massage, it’s a good idea to put lubricants in your hand before applying them so you have a chance to rub your hands together to warm them. Note to gay massage therapists: be sure any water-based supplies DOESN’T contain Nonoxynol-9, which is an irritant.

Good Communication

When doing massage for men, it is critical that you discuss and if the gay male massage includes the possibility of the entire full body experience before going ahead with a nude male massage. Situations when a gay massage therapist tries to shift a relaxation massage into an erotic realm for the first time could be uncomfortable and embarrassing if the gay massage therapist and the client have not discussed expectations for the male on male massage.

If it is a nude male massage it’s important for the person on the table to always feel comfortable making requests. When doing massage for men, the client should feel free to mention anything that is getting in the way of his comfort and pleasure. Some male on male massages can bring up difficult emotional issues. When someone is crying, or in a similarly distressed emotional state, it’s usually best to just be there for that person. It’s a good idea for the gay massage therapist to reassure them that it’s OK to cry rather than engage in problem-solving.

Types of Man to Man Massages

1. Deep Tissue

2. Erotic Gay Massage

3. Hot Stone Therapy

4. Swedish Massage

5. Shiatsu

6. Sports Massage

7. Sensual Male Massage

Deep Tissue – Deep Tissue Massage is a man to man massage designed to reach the deep portions of thick muscles, specifically the individual muscle fibers. Using deep muscle compression and friction along the grain of the muscle, its purpose is to unstick the fibers of the muscles and release both toxins and deeply held patterns of tension.

Erotic Gay Massage – Erotic Gay Massage is a combination of a sensual male massage and relaxing bodywork. Not to be mistaken for Sex, Male Erotic Massage can be integrated with any number of legitimate massage techniques or a light body-rub that includes a sexual release by hand. Generally both the Gay Massage Therapist and Client are nude during this experience. Each Gay Massage Therapist has different ‘rules’ on Male Erotic Massage guidelines so it is important to talk to the therapist about the experience before coming to any conclusions.

Hot Stone Therapy – Developed in the Midwest for use in health spas, this technique uses stones that have been heated. These stones are positioned on the body and some are gently moved about with light pressure being exerted on the warm stones. ...

Swedish Massage – Swedish massage is now known as “traditional” massage. In the 1820s a Swedish doctor, Dr. Per Henrik Ling, developed the first modern method of massage through his study of physiology, gymnastics, and the massage techniques borrowed from China, Egypt, Greece, and Rome. Swedish massage includes long gliding strokes, kneading, friction, tapping, and shaking motions. It is effective for most ailments, because massaging the skin, the body’s largest organ, sets up a chain reaction that produces a positive effect on all layers and systems of the body. This man to man massage technique affects the nerves, muscles, glands, and circulation, and promotes health and wellbeing.

Shiatsu – Shiatsu, the most widely known form of acupressure, literally meaning “finger pressure” in Japanese, and has been practiced for more than a thousand years in Japan. Shiatsu uses rhythmic pressure from 3 to 10 seconds on specific points along the body’s meridians by using the fingers, hands, elbows, knees, and sometimes feet to unblock and stimulate the flow of energy. A man to man massage may also include gentle stretching and range-of-motions manipulations. Shiatsu is used to treat pain and illness, to relax the body, and to maintain general health.

Sports Massage – This special form of man to man massage is typically used before, during, and after athletic events to prepare the athlete for peak performance, to drain away fatigue, to relieve swelling, to reduce muscle tension, to promote flexibility and to prevent injuries. Depending on the needs of the athlete, a variety of techniques are used including classic Swedish strokes, Male Erotic Massage, Sensual Male Massage, cross-fiber friction, pressure-point work, and joint mobilization.

Sensual – This man to man massage is designed to use touch for an emotionally pleasing response. Strokes are typically light or moderate, and are not intended to be physically therapeutic. Typically, an atmosphere of relaxation is set through the use of candles and music. The gay massage therapist is often unclothed as well as the client. Unlike Erotic Gay Massage, Sensual Male Massage may not specify climax as a goal. Instead, it is intended to indulge the client and make him feel special. Sensual massage for man is widely offered by untrained practitioners where full-body contact is utilized. The only structured, trademarked variety of Sensual Male Massage is Body Electric. This variety of sensual massage for man is intended to promote positive self-image, and help to reattach a wholesome view of sexual energy within the body. Sensual massage for man should be discussed prior to the Sensual Male Massage.

While I was surfing, I found the following on a masseur’s web site. My rules are completely different and I don’t use a sliding scale for different services. I do what I want to do when I want to do it and the pay is always the same (though tips are always appreciated ;-)) I do understand his rules and admire him for being so straight forward.

Rules: ( I Dont Kiss, Role Play, W/S, ) Everything I do is listed below. If its NOT listed below that means I DONT DO IT!
Packages:
1. Deep Tissue Massage With Me Nude: $75.00 For One Hr
2. Deep Tissue Massage With Me Nude And I Release You By Oral: $100.00 For One Hr
3. Deep Tissue Massage With Me Nude And I Release You By Oral ,Mutual Touching: $130 For One Hr
4. Deep Tissue Massage With me Nude And I Release You By Oral , Mutual Touching, Mutual Oral: $150.00 For One Hr
5. Deep Tissue Massage With Me Nude, Mutual Touching , Mutual Oral, I Top You Safe: $200.00 For One Hr

Over Nite Packages:
12 Hour Over Nite $600.00
24 Hour Over Nite $1,000.00

Last week was a good week.

It’ was a good and busy week. I actually made more money last week than I had in the previous three. I saw some of my favorite clients. I know that most of this can be attributed to the full moon, but I still enjoyed it.

I managed to also see a few movies, spend some time with my partner, and get all my chores done.

Now we are dealing with a heat wave which means a real slow down again. I am one of those people who really gets more done when I have more to do. If I have very little to do, even less will get done. Silly, isn’t it?

I mention that I got to see some of my favorite clients, what makes a favorite client? Well, first off, someone who treats me with respect, every time. Most of the time I am treated with a great deal of respect, but I always remember when I am not. Regular clients always get a little better treatment and probably a little better massage. I know there bodies better and we know each other better. Not saying that a first timer won’t get a good massage, but those I have gotten to know will probably get a better one. Good looking can help, but not all that necessary, although I do appreciate a nice ass. Tipping can help, I definitely always remember who does and who does not. A client that shares a little of themselves is nice, with in reason of course, I like to hear chit chat and even a joy or a sorrow, as long as it limited to 10 minutes or less ;-). Showing up on time, clean, and ready to go all help to make for a pleasant massage for the client and me, my time is valuable to me. A client who can laugh is nice. One that finds me in some way attractive is nice. One who is open and honest with me is helpful, so I know what they want or need and how we can best deal with that. A client who came for a massage with maybe some extras but that they mainly came for a massage is important; it really sets the tone for an enjoyable session.

So this past week I had polite, well kept, friendly, and sometimes even very attractive repeat clients. Thank you.

I am a Stress Eater.

That is the latest confession of this Bodyworker. I am Stress Eater. I have the “Fat” gene also. My body does not carry extra weight well, it all sits in spare tire right around the middle. I would much rather take my pants and underwear off than take my shirt off. I think I look my worst just shirtless. My pants create a line just below the spare tire, nicely emphasizing it. This is my major body issue.

I am also now “over 40.” Which means a lot of things: my metabolism is slowing down so fat accumulates faster, my skin is far more willing to sag, I am getting gray hairs everywhere, crows feet are a given, and by popular single gay standards – I am basically deceased. Fortunately I have a loving partner.

The economy is still in the dumps and getting older is adding stress to my life and inches to my waist. Now a couple of inches is no reason to panic, but I grew up fat. I know what it is like and I do not want to go back there. Most of my single life I didn’t keep any food at home, since if it was there, I would eat it. Now days I do the cooking for me and my partner and I have found that I like cooking. I even don’t mind cooking healthy foods. It is just that eating 2 extra helping of healthy food is not really healthy.

Today was a classic example of stress eating, I started the day with a small bowl of cereal. I was going over finances and got a little freaked out and rationalized that I should eat my lunch (left over pizza) before I go to the Laundromat so about 11. I get the laundry going and the place is packed and there are tons of screaming children so I duck over to the 7/11 to get a coffee and without even thinking I bought an apple fritter. Of course I immediately had remorse about that purchase and wasn’t going to eat it but that would be wasteful so I ate it instead of taking it home so no one has to know that I bought the apple fritter in the first place. After laundry, I had a few errands to run which ended up taking much more time than I anticipated plus there were more screaming children everywhere I went. I got back and there was a message from my partner to meet him in town so we could go see an old Bette Davis movie and I was to eat before hand. So I ate a good size bowl of soup and left over Chinese. After the movie, my partner was desperate for a burger and fries and with out thinking I ordered one as well to eat with him.

So here I am at 41 with my waist being 36” for the first time in my life since I was junior in high school. My waist was actually larger than that for most of high school but I started loosing the weight around my junior year. I also weigh more than I ever have since I graduated. I am about 6’ tall and weight 190. By the American Population as a whole, this is not that bad, but it is 20 pounds over the top recommended weight for my height. The worst part is that for the last year or so, I have tried to lose some weight, but have been unable to keep it off for a sustained period. I do get some exercise, definitely more than I did a couple years ago, but alas, I am only holding steady.

Where am I going with all this? Excellent question!

First off let me say that I work with a variety of men of all shapes and sizes. The young and lean may be the minority, but they are there and they do often come back. In short, being my age and my size and doing my job only seems to be an issue for a minority of people seeking these types of services.

Business sucks for everyone right now. This past week I did an exchange with a very handsome (if a couple of years my senior), well built masseur who was also tired of having too much free time. We had a very nice time, if you were wondering, the man has beautiful butt with just the right amount of hair. I wanted to ravish it for…. I digress.

I recently went to a clothing optional gay bed and breakfast with my partner for a few days. I love these places. You are there to relax and you can take your clothes off and just be you. In an hour you forget you are naked. In a few hours you even forget your imperfections. Everyone is just letting it all hang out, flaws and all. Usually the only truly shy ones are in their early 20’s and a couple of gym bunnies. It always amazes me that they have the worst self body image. My few extra pounds didn’t seem to bother anyone there either as I has several men (including the hot muscle guy everyone was lusting after) offer to suck my dick Just as a reminder, I am of average length and am a grower, not a shower. Now it might just have been that there was over abundance of submissive bottom type guys that were looking for any take charge top minded men, but I think it had more to do with a confidence that comes from forgetting your flaws and just being you.

Would I still like to drop 20 pounds? Sure. Would I like to be 10 years younger? Maybe, but not really. Would I like to be all muscular and lean? Apparently not enough.

Tomorrow, I will forgive myself for today’s transgressions and focus again on eating the correct amount of food. I will make sure that I fit in my hour of exercise. In the mean time, I will throw off my clothes and walk around my apartment naked.