It is Sunday as I am typing this, a rather quiet day. It is a slow period of the month and the weather is slightly better than it’s been in weeks so everyone is out enjoying it and not getting massage.
Of course I often don’t work on Sundays for other reasons. It is a day I often spend with my partner. So I shouldn’t be surprised when I have a free Sunday to work, that I end up with no clients. Business has been slow lately and I am again looking for extra income. I know that I should really pursue a new career and do massage part time (if at all), but who would want to give up my life? ;-)
As I said, it is Sunday, my partner is away today attending a conference and will be back by this evening. So I am sitting here typing in the nude (why dress and make more laundry for myself?). I have a new porno playing on the DVD player to keep in the mood. It is Rocks and Hard Places, a Kristen Bjorn video, I love his stuff. Yes they are a bit all the same but they are really well done. He uses nice relaxing background music instead of the cheesy 70’s porn soundtrack that you still hear on a lot of videos. He uses models from all over the world, though he seems to have a fondness for Italians, Spaniards, and other Mediterranean types. His early work was very plot heavy and often whimsical; lately he has been more into just getting as many attractive men together as possible. He loves outdoor scenes. He also averages a cum shot every 7.5 minutes (and more cum shots per movie than any other director I’ve seen). Bottoms always shoot with a hard dick up their ass. Someone who is sucking cock will cum with out missing a stroke. Generally, everyone in the scene will cum at least three times. If I have any issues with his work is that generally he does follow a bit of a formula, sucking till they cum, fucking till they cum, rimming till they cum and then start over with the next group. He does usually work in at least one very unusual position or true double penetration and he is big on the daisy chain sucking in group scenes.
Well, I got a bit off the subject there, what I wanted to talk about was a bit about my lifestyle. Yesterday I went to a nudist happy hour, since my partner was at a conference. I feel weird about going without him and he only likes to go once in a very great while (like once a year or so). I am sure that if he were single he would go more often, but there is always a bit of weirdness when we go to events like that together. Worrying about if the other is having a good time and then wondering if they are having too good of a time. Some couples have that down to a science, we do not. We both learned long ago that these types of situations are just not easy when we are there as a couple (though it is easier if we are out of town).
Now I had not been to the naked happy hour in probably a year. I saw a few friends there, but generally it was a lot of strangers. I was not as nearly social as I could have been or should have been. I even left very early as I was just not in the mood to be outgoing. It happens. I was also not in the mood to drink which may have been an issue. I also was feeling bloated. Now I do carry at least 10 extra pounds (some would argue more) but I know deep down that I am not obese. In the straight world I am considered skinny. Now the naked happy hour is not filled with gods and Adonises, though there are few there, and it is not about hook ups or sex (there are strict rules about behavior at most of these events), but you still don’t want to be seen as the fat one. There were several men who were much larger than I and much older than I who were having a great time and being very social. I just couldn’t get there. I have in the past with no problems. I was just not in the right mood and realized I only went because my partner was at a conference and I would not be missed for a few hours.
I sometimes wonder if my daily life of not having to be dressed often, seeing other naked men, engaging in some sexual activity on a regular basis is making me a bit jaded about these other events. It is true that I almost never see any other bodyworkers at these events. I almost never get aroused at these events (most of the other men do, it is not big deal). Oh well, be thankful of the fun that I have that they don’t.
Which brings me to one of the favorite parts of my life; I get to hear the confessions of all kinds of people. Take for example a fairly new friend of mine I met in the theater world. I will call him Kevin. We were working on a show together and figured out that we were somewhat kindred spirits, both a little left of center. I am very out about being gay and doing massage work (not so much about the other stuff that can go on). Well after the run was over we were exchanging some emails and he shares with me a bit about his sex life including a secret blog he writes about his sexual adventures. Apparently my friend Kevin is a bit of a swinger with his wife and back in the day was into a bit of the ol’ S and M world. Go Kevin! Love Kinky straight people. Then he also shares that he is a bit of a bisexual as well! Alright, you go boy! Even though I feel that labels are really not necessary, if it helps to put a label on yourself, go ahead. Of course since he was sharing all of that, I shared with him this blog so he could get caught up on where I was coming from, more or less. He may or may not make an appointment some day. We’ll see. I have no illusions that anything would happen, I am totally not his type, he likes “skater” boys.;-)
But what made me think of him was that most (not all) but most all of his adventures were the past, like over ten years in the past. As we were emailing, I shared with him that I was naked at the time, something that I know he enjoys. He told me that unfortunately with a 10 year old boy, he does not feel that he can enjoy that around home so much. Now I know that he loves his family more than anything in the world, as do most of my married clients, and wouldn’t trade them for anything, but many of them envy me for the freedoms that I have. To sit naked and type in my journal, go to a naked happy hour when I please, have sexual adventures at the drop of a hat.
Now Kevin has shared with his readers and with me some of his previous experiences and I must say that I was impressed. Very few people can learn at an early enough age that there is a lot more to sex than what we are taught by our parents. His first experience with a man was sweet and touching and hot! He discovered that he loves to suck cock! He was a major player in one of the local straight BDSM groups. He knows the joys of setting yourself free from inhibitions and the pitfalls that can happen (like how difficult it is to have a successful three-way and what jealousy can do to otherwise sane people).
Kevin has a very cool wife and they have played together on a number of occasions with both men and women, and as far as I know continue to do so when there is a chance. Chances are just fewer and farther between these days. While it would be easier for him to play with out her, he doesn’t think she would like that, so he doesn’t (as far as I know). So he writes about his days gone by and occasionally plans for a time when he and his wife can find that certain set of right circumstances when the stars align and they can play together with a man or woman (or both) of their choice.
So, is life like a porno? Not really, they are fiction, and Kristin Bjorn will take days to shoot a truly successful 20 minute scene. Not everyone in the world looks like a porn star. Not every opportunity for sex is taken. Not all scenes end with everyone cumming. Every one does not have a good time, every time. There is no instant soundtrack. However, there is a lot of fun to be had. Whatever choices that you make, just be happy. Don’t look at someone else and wish that you had their life. Just enjoy the life you’ve chosen. Who knows, someone maybe looking at you with envy. ;-)
