There have been a number of celebrities who have been caught by the press cheating on their spouses and then enter rehab for sex addiction, is it real?
I am supposed to be looking for steadier work right now. I am having a bit of a focus problem. You see, I just can’t seem to focus on finding a job until after I masturbate. It’s silly but true. Once I orgasm then I’m fine and I can buckle down and do what needs to be done. The issue? I don’t want to do that first thing in the morning in case I get a last minute client, I need to be “up” for my work. I could take my chances and figure that when the time comes, my erection won’t fail me, but speaking from experience, it is much more difficult to keep an erection up if I already had a morning orgasm. I can get one, just can’t keep it up for the whole session.
The reason I am sharing this is I was recently asked by a client about sex addiction and whether I know anyone who suffers from it. I guess that depends on your definition of sex addiction. I have had clients who have discussed with me some of their issues and identified themselves as sex addicts. I am not a huge fan of labels, but if it helps you define who you are then more power to you. Basically a sexual addiction is when sex interferes with your ability to live your everyday life. It has really nothing to do with number of partners or the kind of sex you have. There are those who would like to believe that a person with a sexual addiction will have sex whenever they can with whomever the can, and while a person who exhibits such behavior would most likely have a sexual addiction all sex addicts are different and have very different practices.
I have an orgasm every day, sometimes more than one. Does that make me an addict? No. Can’t find a job because I can’t stop thinking about sex? Maybe, but not if I just go ahead and masturbate and find a job, then it is not a problem.
So, it stands to reason that a person who likes to have sex with every day but can still hold down a relationship and a job and follow his other dreams does not have a sexual addiction problem, even if he is having a different partner every day. It also stands to reason if a person who likes sex a lot and decides to be a prostitute does not have a sexual addiction since he has changed his lifestyle to fit his sexual needs.
Gay men have a reputation of having very high sex drives. I think that most men, straight or gay have high sex drives. It is just a matter of opportunity. If straight men thought that they could have sex at any given moment, and nobody would care, I am sure they would.
So, back to me, before I started working as a bodyworker, did I have issues with Sexual Addiction? I don’t think so. I held down a government job for a number of years and before that I ran a live theater, before that, I taught at a University. Through all of these jobs (and a few others thrown in here and there) I still masturbated every day, sometimes more than once, and it never interfered with my work. Yes, occasionally I would throw one off in the privacy of a men’s room at work, but only on my break and usually alone, and then I would go back to work.
I would probably be more likely to worry about this if I had not spoken to literally hundreds of men, straight and gay, who have discussed the same issues. I don’t want you to fret if this does not describe you, like all things in the world, the level of sex drive in individuals varies a great deal. However, there are more than a few of us who find an orgasm a day to be the ideal. Almost every man whom I have discussed such things with admits that he still masturbates, even if he does have multiple partners with whom to have sex, again this includes straight and gay men. It unusual for most men if they have not had an orgasm in a few days, unless they are “Saving up” for some special event (I have more than one client who like to do this before a visit with me). Most men have confessed to “rubbing one out” in the men’s room at work occasionally. Some men like to start the day with an orgasm, others like to do it before they go to sleep.
There can be other issues related to sexual addiction such as the need for more extreme thrills, the need for multiple partners, the need for BDSM activities, in short if you need an extra element for you to orgasm and this "need" continues to grow. In the short term, this may not seem like an issue, but as time goes on, it becomes harder and harder to fulfill these extra needs. Issues like this may definitely require some therapy. Of course if you want to talk to a therapist about anything in your sex life, you should not hesitate to do so. It can make you feel better and help identify if there is a problem or not.
So the answer to my daytime issues with job hunting and getting a "grip" on my want or need to orgasm and my worry about last minute clients is this: if I do not have a client scheduled after 1:30 PM by 1:30 PM, I will go ahead and masturbate so I can focus on the rest of what I need to get done. So if you call me after 1:30 for a same day appointment, you are taking your chances if you want an erection from me. ;-)
Now, if I could only get to work without my three cups of coffee in the morning, my hour or so of facebook and let's face it, my day always seems better when I start it with a fresh apple fritter. These are all far worse addictions in my book.
- Jack
