We are the sum of our experiences.
While I was brought up in a rural neighborhood by very Christian parents, I was also fortunate enough to experience a lot of little life lessons about how no one is perfect and perhaps we all need stop judging and stop trying to pretend that we are any better than we are. For example, while my parents were bringing me up in a very religious life, I also knew that my mother was married twice and I had 4 half brothers, no big deal right? In a very rural and religious part of the country divorce was still looked down upon and it wracked my mother with guilt. Little did I know how the story continues. When I was 16, the only one of the 5 boys still at home, my parents put some photos of when they were younger on display. Well, imagine my surprise when I saw the photo of my father as a young boy looks exactly like a photo of my closest half-brother. When I confronted my mother, she says “Well, I guess there is something we should tell you. He is your full brother, your father and I were having an affair when I was still married to my first husband.” See, even my saintly parents were not perfect and had sex, a lot. While this traumatized me shortly, I soon had my own problems with realizing I was gay, which, when I told my parents they had all the usual responses: It’s a phase, you will go to hell, we will put you through therapy, it’s our fault for not raising you right, it’s god’s punishment for our sins (which is when I learned that mother had to get married the first time because she was pregnant). They did not kick me out of the house; I was in college and didn’t live there any more anyway. My father did say that he loved me but we would never speak of it again. My mother would ask me questions whenever my father was not around. Eventually, as the years passed, my father came around and even they even changed churches to a more liberal one accepting of gay people. If I had been born a decade earlier, I may have gotten married and had children and not come out till later in life and been looking for an understanding gay massage therapist.
Likewise each of my clients are coming to my table with their own unique background. Recently a black man in his early thirties came to me for an erotic massage. He also was raised a Christian and was taught that homosexuality is wrong. He has never told anyone about his feelings for men. He has managed not to get married by telling everyone that he is “playing the field.” He dates women, but never for very long. Many in his life most likely suspect, but have not yet pressured him to “repent” and marry. His experience with men is extremely limited, since he worries that someone will see him with a known gay man. He won’t answer a personal ad, he won’t go to a sex club, he won’t go to an adult bookstore, he won’t go to a gay bar so the few experiences he has had have been mainly when he travels out of town on vacation by himself or for business. His knowledge about safe sex I find was sadly lacking. So he was thrilled to find me, though he drove a good distance to get to me and even then parked around the corner, just in case someone he knows might know what work I do and see his car out front. He was able to let me know that he wanted a sensual massage and wanted to see me naked. I took pity on him and stripped. ;-)
Likewise I recently had an Israeli client who doesn’t want anyone to know that he is gay, for many of the same reasons (slightly different religion). He is an extremely attractive man who trims his body hair all over. He is extremely fit and trim with well defined abs. Normally a man like this should be doing porn, not paying me to give him an erotic massage (although I have massage porn stars before, everyone needs some relaxation). Anyway, because he does not get many chances to be with men, he prefers to pay for his experiences. He avoids bath houses and gay bars since he is worried someone he knows may see him entering or leaving such places. He worries about what might happen if he met a stranger on line, it may be a trap or he may get robbed or worse. So he keeps an eye out for ads for massage by men that have been up for a long time and have good reviews. That is how he found me.
Our session begins as normal with him stripping down and lying naked face down on the table. He asks me if I will strip down as well. I do. I massage his back and legs, he is tense but is relaxing and sinking into the table. He occasionally strokes my cock if it near his hand but is not frantic about it. As I stroke his inner thighs, he sighs contently. I reach through his crotch, under his leg and feel his hard penis. He moans lightly. I massage his buttocks and he grinds slightly into the table. I stroke lightly outside his anus and his perineum, he raises his hip slightly inviting me further. I slowly slide a lubed finger into his ass and massage his prostate. He undulates, trying to get me further into his ass. I slip in a second finger and stroke in and out slowly. He moans lightly. I clean my hands and climb upon the table. I stroke his body from feet to shoulders paying particular attention to his glutes. I lay upon his back with my hard cock nestled between his firm butt cheeks, I grab his hands in mine and squeeze while I stiffen my body giving him my full weight. I climb off and do a light finger stroke over his entire back side and wipe him down with a towel.
I tell him it is time to turn over, I offer him a drink which he takes eagerly while I re-arrange the towels and bolsters. I tell him to lie down on his back and I go to work on his well defined chest cover with shortly trimmed dark hair. I tease his nipple and watch his uncut hard penis twitch. He is hung average, not too large or small and of decent width. I move down to rub his hard abs, his cock doing a frantic dance, begging for attention. I stroke it occasionally to let it know that it has not been forgotten. I switch sides and repeat the ab work. Just as I start stroking his cock with gusto, he asks if we can change positions so he can massage me. I have done this with clients in the past, usually only after they have been regulars for some time, but he has really good energy and I am genuinely aroused. I say sure and switch places with him, lying on my back, showing him where the creams and towels are if he needs anything. He very lovingly strokes my entire body from head to toe. He has a gentle and curious touch, almost as if a blind man is exploring my body for the first time. When he starts to focus on my genitals, he experiments with different strokes on my cock and balls. He then moves down to give me an external anal massage. Through it all he asks for feed back and I give him as much as I can, telling him to experiment and letting him know what feels good. I allow him to play for maybe 15 minutes total before I tell him it is time to switch back. His cock is still very hard and dripping cum.
I massage his legs a bit then go to town on his cock, balls and ass. His hand has a firm grip on my cock stroking it quickly. I know he is close but I tease him, letting him rest between strokes and teasing his nipples. When I feel he has had enough, I focus on his cock while looking into his eyes and encourage him to cum, “yeah man, that’s it, oh fuck yeah, do it now!” He cums, shooting all over his chest, yelling and grunting as he does. I clean him up and continue the massage with the stretches for his legs and arms. I finish with the blessing and ask him how he is doing. He is nothing but smiles and says he loved the massage. He asks me if he could make me cum, I reply that I prefer to share that with my partner (though honestly I was thinking about how much I wanted to fuck that tight hairy ass of his). He understands and we share a naked hug. I hope I get to see him again.
Anyway, the list will go on. I have clients who are Indians, American Indians, Hispanics etc, each with it’s own set of hang ups on sex, particularly gay sex. Many get married like they are expected to, the younger ones put it off if they can. Many have moved far from their families but even then feel that there are others in their current society who will be more judgmental than they can handle. Many clients have their own personal baggage from personal experience that were either pleasant or not. Some open up and tell me as much as they can while others will tell me nothing at all, in which case, I just have to listen to their bodies and my intuition and hope for the best.
Again as I have said before, to think that there is no place in our society for workers like me is only because you do not know what is out there.
