What do I mean by 6" and 90 seconds?

I said in my earlier post that the difference between a massage and bodywork is about 6” and 90 seconds. The 6” is about the distance between the pubic bone and anus on most men. It is the “no touch zone” in “legit” massage. Pretty silly isn’t it? The entire body is filled with nerve endings and any of them can lead to arousal in different people, but that little area is off limits. I hate the fact that it is considered dirty or shameful to have that area touched by anyone but your spouse.

The 90 seconds is the amount of time that the “no touch zone” area is touched before the average man will orgasm. Sometimes much less, occasionally it takes a bit more, but 90 seconds is about the average. Again, silly, isn’t it? The difference in the amount of time to give someone a “happy ending” is so insignificant. Please understand that most men already have an erection by the time I touch the “no touch zone” so it really is just a matter of finishing off the job. The erection comes from a combination of relaxing, being touched everywhere else, and anticipation. Since anticipation is a large part of this equation, I really don’t see how a “legit” massage can really totally relax a man. I have gotten many “legit” massages in my life and even knowing full well that it is not going to be erotic, I still get that erection and more than a little anxiety over what will happen or not happen.

In my version of bodywork, the “happy ending” is not at the end of the session, but rather about ¾ of the way through. I work the entire back of the body first then the chest and stomach after they turn over. I invade the “no touch zone” for about 90 seconds for the big release, then continue on to stretching and massaging the legs and arms before moving back up to do the face and neck and finish with an all over light touch. This gives the client anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes to forget about the erotic element and just totally relax. The results are usually well worth it.

While I did not intend to start my bodywork business as such, I very quickly realized that 99.9% of my cliental were looking for 90 seconds in the “no touch zone.” The first time someone actually asked, they offered more money. How much more for release? I was taken aback, but decided on the spot that I had no problems with it and said “There is no charge.” Never crossed my mind that I might be labeled a prostitute and a whore, I was still fully dressed. I didn’t perform any oral acts, just rubbed a little in the “no touch zone” and with so little effort; I had a much happier client. Since then, I have always played it by ear so to speak as to what the client wants. Over half of my clients are men in very happy marriages. I also have a number of single straight men who come to me as well as a few gay men. The gay men tend to be on the older side, but not all by any means. There is a big difference in having sex and receiving a full body massage, and all of the anonymous sex in the world does not compare to having one person pay all of their attention to you and touch in caring way every inch of your body. It doesn’t make the straight men gay, or the husbands bi (though I am sure that a number of them may be), but the touch of another man is just needed sometimes. Is that so wrong? - Jack

What are confessions of a Bodyworker?

Someone has suggested that I start a Blog talking a bit about my experiences as a Bodyworker. So, to start, let me tell you what I do. I do Bodywork for Men out of my apartment, not massage but bodywork. The difference? About 6" and 90 seconds.

In other words, I am not afraid of adding a bit of sensuality to a massage. Because of this I don't call it massage. Massage is now a word associated with a regulated profession where the touching of genitals is strictly prohibited. The regulation of massage is a relatively new thing, started bu a variety of massage schools around the country.

I have nothing against massage schools and I have nothing against what they teach, I do have an issue with them pushing for legislation that requires people to go there for 500 to 600 hours for a profession where the average income is around $30,000 a year.

In the past, massage was taught in an apprentice type setting, passed from worker to another. A good masseur was always able to find work, other would not. There was no regulation of sensual aspects and in many cultures, an erotic massage was expected and considered very therapeutic. This is not true in this country, for the most part. Massage is not regulated in every state and there is at least one state that acknowledges genital massage as a real therapeutic style.

All that being said, I have checked out some of the local massage schools and decided not to go that route. Instead I worked one on one with several professional masseurs to learn the trade. I also have decided not to become licensed. Since I have decided to include erotic work, I would rather not have to deal with being afraid of a licensing board taking away my work of levying fines against me. This is a personal choice.

I still need to worry about the law, but in the part of the country where I live, there are a number of us who work in this field and the police are not particularly worried about us. As long as no one complains, we are left pretty much alone. They do worry a bit about larger "massage establishments" where they feel that it could be part of organized crime. While it is still considered prostitution to give an erotic massage, which is just ridiculous, the police don't see individuals as threat to the community.

So, a bit more about me.

I am a college educated 40 yo gay white male in a 13 year long relationship with a great guy. I used to work in the world of theatre which means that I have also had a hundred other jobs to help pay the rent over the years, though I did work exclusively in theatre for about 6 years. Eventually I started temping and eventually ended up working for the headquarters of a major government agency. I worked there for almost 10 years making good money and was well respected and thought of as great up and coming corporate type. Then I quit. I hated just about everything about the corporate world, especially how they treated each other and what kind of behavior was rewarded. Doing your job well got you noticed. It made your coworkers jealous and your bosses realize that they could not promote you since then there would be no one to do the work, so the worthless and the trouble makers often got the better jobs and pay. The only way to move forward was to threaten to quit or to simply apply for another job, usually with a different department or government agency. The most successful did this constantly. I was told by a mentor to never spend more than two years in the same position, and always demand more money. This just does not fit my personality.

I first started working with massage therapists because I loved getting massages and couldn't afford to get as many as I would like. So, I learned to give so I could do exchanges. A group was formed near me of like minded men to meet and exchange massages. Unfortunately, most of these men did not know how to give a massage and really didn't want to learn. I became known as someone who gave great massages and the list of men wanting massage from me became very long. While they would try to reciprocate, most would give up after 10 or 15 minutes. When I started telling guys that I was not doing exchanges with untrained men any longer, several offered to pay me. So I checked into the going rate and told them that is what I wanted. To my surprise they accepted and I started doing professional bodywork. I did this for a number of years while still working at the corporate job.

When I quit my job, I had no intention of doing body work full time. I intended to take a couple of months break then find something else to do. Problem was, I couldn't figure out what I wanted to do. I didn't want to go back to corporate, theatre doesn't pay well enough, and I was not interested in going back to school and starting from scratch. I was still doing bodywork part time, and decided to start doing some advertising to pick up some more money to make ends meet. My partner was still working at his job so money was not terribly tight. Next thing I knew, two years had passed, I was still doing bodywork. I guess this means that it is my current career. The most often question I get asked is whether I pay taxes, and the answer is yes. Will this be my career for life? No idea.

I have learned a lot about men in the last couple of years and I intend to share some of this on this site. I look forward to hearing from people out there and I will try to answer any questions you might have. - Jack