A large percentage of my work is on repeat customers, many who have been coming to see me for several years now. Some who choose to spend their birthdays with me and occasionally I will go an extra mile for these customers, especially if they have been good tippers as well.
I will go out of my way to fit them into my schedule, I will try to arrange music they have said they liked, make sure the room temp is to their liking, wear the underwear they like, have extra candles burning and the like.
These clients will also most likely get some of their other requests at least considered and often granted. For example, one of my married clients who finally told me his real first name after three years, has asked to start the session with him undressing me. Fine. He takes his time and kisses and licks as he goes, I will also undress him. He always books a 90 minute session and will often spend the first 30 minutes undressing each other and exploring my body. He has discovered that I like having my balls licked. I have taught him that crevasse of the leg and pubic area is one of the most sensitive of the body. I have also taught him that his ears are erogenous zone, and though he tries to return the favor, he still is learning the art subtlety.
Another client who enjoys this type of beginning to the session wants to “make out” for an extended period of time. I will confess, I have more issues with this than any thing else. First off, it’s very rare that their breath is as fresh as it should be. Second, a lot of men kiss really badly… a bit like a giant blind slug of a tongue is trying to burrow it’s way down your gullet. Third, kissing is a very intimate act, much more than hugging, jacking, or even fucking. Saliva is exchanged, breath is shared, tasting of each others mouths, the feeling of another’s tongue and teeth, the pressing of lips against lips, the burn of the facial hair. It is all very intimate and sometimes difficult to do if the guy looks like your grandfather. It is very rare that anyone except a long term client will even attempt to kiss and then I will only allow if they have been a very good long term client that makes regular appointments, keeps them and tips well. Honestly, it does nothing for me in that I do not find it to be a turn on to be kissed by anyone but my partner. I have never been a random kisser. Even in my dating days, I very rarely kissed someone until I was sure I liked them and was willing to explore a relationship. I have never liked the guys who will come up and try to tongue you 10 minutes after meeting. You can suck my dick if you want something to do with your tongue, or rim me even, I like that. Note that I do refer to the tongue in all this. A peck on the cheek is fine of course, even a peck on the lips is fine, providing we have been intimate. I am always taken aback when a casual friend will kiss me on the lips – just something I never expect.
Occasionally a long term client will ask if he can give me a massage as part of his time. Again, if he has been a good client, I will go for this. Many just want to give me some of the same pleasure that I give them. Most however just want the opportunity to touch another man all over, something that they don’t get to do in their regular lives. Remember that a lot of my clients are men married to women and have been for years. So yes, in these cases I will let them massage me. I will lie on the table and relax, offer advice occasionally, or if they just want to focus on my cock and balls for a while, I may let them. I have incredible dick control after all these years, so I will only cum if I truly want to and since I don’t cum with clients, I usually don’t. I say usually because I am only human and occasionally my concentration slips. Why if I do all of this would I still be a stickler about not cumming for my clients? The answers are still the same: it is not practical to try to cum multiple times every day, there are clients who repulse me, I save something for my partner, and it can also send a wrong message to the client and breaks down the client/masseur relationship. There needs to be a professional distance for everyone’s sake. I do this for money, not because I want to have sex with every guy I meet.
Not that I don’t get to know some of my regulars quite well. I usually end up knowing what line of work they are in and whether they like it, their spouses names, how many kids (and their names), where they take vacations, if their parents are alive or not, what their sexual experiences have been, what kind of money they have, what their fears are, what their hopes are, what they wish thy had done differently in their lives, their health histories, and obviously I get to know them physically. What each ones erogenous zones are, what they don’t like, where they have had injuries, ailments. I know their smells, the texture of their skin (this varies more than you could possibly imagine), whether they die their hair, what shape their feet are in, whether they are gaining or loosing weight and what exercise the do.
Back to my regulars. Some of the requests I have heard and to some degree have helped my regulars with: premature ejaculation, prolonged prostate massage, mild fisting, ball torture, tickle torture, and occasionally I have let them suck my dick. I know that I am sounding more and more as a whore instead of a massage therapist. Let me clarify again, that only half or so of my clients receive any erotic elements, only long term clients who tip well receive consideration of their special requests so perhaps I do these sort of things a couple of times a month (and no I don’t charge extra for these services, though I do expect them to tip well). Do I always want to do these things? No, not really. Oh, there are times that I do because the client is cute and has a great personality. But more often than not, I do them as a bonus to reward a good client and it is all just part of the job.
Another thing I appreciate is the occasional gift for an occasion like birthday or Christmas. One of my clients gives me a bottle of Bourbon each Christmas, several throw in an extra large tip (always appreciated), I get Christmas cards, house plants, condoms (seriously), and of course Christmas ornaments and the like. These all mean something to me and I do remember when it comes to special requests. I just want to state that any of my clients reading this already treat me wonderfully. Hope everyone has a good experience with massage soon! - Jack
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Letter from a reader....
Love the blog. I'm straight married guy who loves to receive massage. I have had several massage therapists who let me go nude, but I had to quit seeing 2 of them because I wanted to ask for more and knew they wouldn't.
How can I tell whether to ask for that special 90 seconds? I'm kind of a shy-nice guy type who is usually pretty good at signals but I don't want to get thrown out either. I know there probably isn't any answer to my question. I really want to find a therapist who is legit (like you), but has clients who they can trust (me).
I'm kinda wishing you were in my state--even though I'm straight.
- Steven
Thanks Steven for reading and for the question.
A therapist's biggest fear is that you are cop, trying to trap them. You have to let them know that this is not the case. There are several signs that I look for. You have already answered one, if an option, no draping. This is a sign they may want more. Verbalize your appreciation, light oohs and ahs and low moans are good signs. Erections are helpful to let me know. Keeping your legs spread as much as possible. Physical contact is the other. If they are close to the table, let your hand touch their leg and leave it there (don't
grab, that's rude). Some guys will say to me "if you want to get more comfortable, feel free" as a way of asking if I will work nude. Lightly humping the table while laying on your front is a big hint, try to do this as subtly as possible.
Most therapists I know who do both, very rarely do erotic work on a first appointment, cops don't bother coming back if there was no hanky panky the first time.
Tip well, from the first visit, therapists are much more likely to bend the rules for clients they like and who treat them well.
Start a conversation about erotic massage... "I suppose you get a lot of guys asking for a happy ending? Does that bother you?" Don't say this on your first appointment, sounds like a set up. Have a conversation after the first appointment. Perhaps by email, or phone. Thank the masseur for your first massage, how much you enjoyed it, how much you look forward to returning. Compliment him on his touch, how it made you feel. How you wish you had skills like his so you could make him feel as good he made you feel. Compliment the surroundings, the music, the scents (a good therapist puts a lot of thought and time into all of these and loves it when it gets noticed). Compliment his strength and physique. These are all ways to get on his good side, and lets him know you may be interested in more.
Let me know if this helps - Jack
PS: I wrote the following in one of my posts:
So how do you find out if your therapist does a little extra? First off, realize that unless they advertise in an erotic section of advertising, they probably won’t say much over the phone or on email, remember, doing erotic or even sensual massage is illegal almost everywhere. Not only is there the police to worry about, but the local massage licensing board can revoke one’s license and levy some very heavy fines. So, starting with ad, there are some key words used in the trade, such as draping optional (where allowed by law), anytime a therapist only works on one gender, the word “release”, in some places in the country “full body”, in others it may be “completely satisfied”, if the ad gives the stats of the provider or uses terms to define their looks such as handsome, sexy, or fit. You get the idea. These are terms used to excite the customer into believing that this massage provides a little extra. They do not guarantee something extra. I know many workers who will only do sensual or erotic work on clients they find attractive but still use these terms to boost their client list, however, they are still a good indication that an erotic or sensual massage is at least a possibility. An ad that show a half naked photo of the therapist is also a good indication, but again, not fool proof.
The price is also an indication, though not always. Typically, if a therapist is charging 20% above the average going rate, they probably offer something extra, especially if they work out of their home. Spas are usually above average market price but almost never offer any extras. The most expensive are the rub and tug people who do not really massage but just use it as a front for prostitution clients.
Recommendations are always good way to go. Ask around anonymously on the web; be specific about what you want. Get more than one response. The problem with the web is that it is a great place for petty people to take out their aggressions. Say for example they wanted an erotic massage from someone and did not get it, when they see someone asking for an erotic massage, they may use it as an opportunity to send a pervert to them, sad but true.
When you talk to them on the phone, do they emphasize non-sexual? Do they talk on about medical terms and fancy techniques? These are probably truly non sexual.
Some styles that would indicate something more would be Tantric or Body Electric or in some cases Esalon. If prostate massage is offered or full body scrubs, these could also be signs that extra are being done.
Ask if draping is optional, if it is, the odds that it is a sensual or erotic massage go up.
If you are on the table, be somewhat vocal when touched in a way that you like and when you are touched where you like. If the masseur is close enough to the table that your hand is touching their leg, don't
grab of poke or dig but ever so gently stroke lightly with a finger. Spreading your legs as far apart as possible is a good sign as well as arching the back slightly. Keep it all coming from a place of
relaxation and enjoyment.
Personally, I believe the best approach is not to worry about it. Assume that the massage is not going to be sensual or erotic and just be pleasantly surprised if it is.
How can I tell whether to ask for that special 90 seconds? I'm kind of a shy-nice guy type who is usually pretty good at signals but I don't want to get thrown out either. I know there probably isn't any answer to my question. I really want to find a therapist who is legit (like you), but has clients who they can trust (me).
I'm kinda wishing you were in my state--even though I'm straight.
- Steven
Thanks Steven for reading and for the question.
A therapist's biggest fear is that you are cop, trying to trap them. You have to let them know that this is not the case. There are several signs that I look for. You have already answered one, if an option, no draping. This is a sign they may want more. Verbalize your appreciation, light oohs and ahs and low moans are good signs. Erections are helpful to let me know. Keeping your legs spread as much as possible. Physical contact is the other. If they are close to the table, let your hand touch their leg and leave it there (don't
grab, that's rude). Some guys will say to me "if you want to get more comfortable, feel free" as a way of asking if I will work nude. Lightly humping the table while laying on your front is a big hint, try to do this as subtly as possible.
Most therapists I know who do both, very rarely do erotic work on a first appointment, cops don't bother coming back if there was no hanky panky the first time.
Tip well, from the first visit, therapists are much more likely to bend the rules for clients they like and who treat them well.
Start a conversation about erotic massage... "I suppose you get a lot of guys asking for a happy ending? Does that bother you?" Don't say this on your first appointment, sounds like a set up. Have a conversation after the first appointment. Perhaps by email, or phone. Thank the masseur for your first massage, how much you enjoyed it, how much you look forward to returning. Compliment him on his touch, how it made you feel. How you wish you had skills like his so you could make him feel as good he made you feel. Compliment the surroundings, the music, the scents (a good therapist puts a lot of thought and time into all of these and loves it when it gets noticed). Compliment his strength and physique. These are all ways to get on his good side, and lets him know you may be interested in more.
Let me know if this helps - Jack
PS: I wrote the following in one of my posts:
So how do you find out if your therapist does a little extra? First off, realize that unless they advertise in an erotic section of advertising, they probably won’t say much over the phone or on email, remember, doing erotic or even sensual massage is illegal almost everywhere. Not only is there the police to worry about, but the local massage licensing board can revoke one’s license and levy some very heavy fines. So, starting with ad, there are some key words used in the trade, such as draping optional (where allowed by law), anytime a therapist only works on one gender, the word “release”, in some places in the country “full body”, in others it may be “completely satisfied”, if the ad gives the stats of the provider or uses terms to define their looks such as handsome, sexy, or fit. You get the idea. These are terms used to excite the customer into believing that this massage provides a little extra. They do not guarantee something extra. I know many workers who will only do sensual or erotic work on clients they find attractive but still use these terms to boost their client list, however, they are still a good indication that an erotic or sensual massage is at least a possibility. An ad that show a half naked photo of the therapist is also a good indication, but again, not fool proof.
The price is also an indication, though not always. Typically, if a therapist is charging 20% above the average going rate, they probably offer something extra, especially if they work out of their home. Spas are usually above average market price but almost never offer any extras. The most expensive are the rub and tug people who do not really massage but just use it as a front for prostitution clients.
Recommendations are always good way to go. Ask around anonymously on the web; be specific about what you want. Get more than one response. The problem with the web is that it is a great place for petty people to take out their aggressions. Say for example they wanted an erotic massage from someone and did not get it, when they see someone asking for an erotic massage, they may use it as an opportunity to send a pervert to them, sad but true.
When you talk to them on the phone, do they emphasize non-sexual? Do they talk on about medical terms and fancy techniques? These are probably truly non sexual.
Some styles that would indicate something more would be Tantric or Body Electric or in some cases Esalon. If prostate massage is offered or full body scrubs, these could also be signs that extra are being done.
Ask if draping is optional, if it is, the odds that it is a sensual or erotic massage go up.
If you are on the table, be somewhat vocal when touched in a way that you like and when you are touched where you like. If the masseur is close enough to the table that your hand is touching their leg, don't
grab of poke or dig but ever so gently stroke lightly with a finger. Spreading your legs as far apart as possible is a good sign as well as arching the back slightly. Keep it all coming from a place of
relaxation and enjoyment.
Personally, I believe the best approach is not to worry about it. Assume that the massage is not going to be sensual or erotic and just be pleasantly surprised if it is.
OK, a momentary reality check
Yes, I make my living doing massage with men and about 50% of the time I include sensual work. Sometimes, I let them play with me as well. Most people in my profession do. So here is a little reality check for clients.
If you are going to a masseur who plays with you during the massage, he probably does it with at least 50% of his clients, probably does it at least once a day or more. You are not the special one. No matter how special he makes you feel (that is part of his job). You need to be OK with that. Each will have their own limits, some hate kissing, some will not cum with their clients, some will always remain clothed, some do not like mutual touch. He may have different limits with different clients, most are human and have likes and dislikes and you may not be his type at all, most will do as much as they can but everyone has there limits.
Here is one thing that is true for almost all of them. We do what we do for money. We may like our jobs, some more than others, but it is a job. Most will never date a client, this will cost us said client. Most will not have outside hook-ups for sex with their clients, this is another way to loose a paying client. If you think that you are different than the others we deal with, you may well be, but we can’t take that chance. It amazes me how often I get asked to go on a date, even after I have mentioned my partner. I am also constantly asked to have random hook-ups with my clients. I explain my rules, the why’s and the wherefore’s and still, they say it will be different with them.
Clients have done computer checks to find out if I have any sex ads out there. I have clients who have compared notes with other clients of mine to find out what I have done with them during our sessions. When I discover that a client is that obsessed, I will drop them as a client, usually with an explanation.
Just because a bodyworker gets an erection while working, does not mean that he is really turned by you. Again, this is a part of the job. They may have taken a little blue pill, watched a lot of porn before you arrived and may be thinking about doing it with Wolverine. Here is a good rule of thumb, if the bodyworker is far more attractive than you, he is probably thinking about someone else. Do not assume he wants to have sex with you. Sorry to ruin the fantasy.
Here is another little reality check; I don’t mind chatting with you during our session as long as the focus stays on you. I will answer the occasional questions about my private life, but it is my private life and what I share is up to me. Also, when we talk, it should be on the clock, if you come in and talk to me for 15 minutes before the session starts, it should come off your time… if it doesn’t you should tip well. The same goes for after your session is over, don’t expect to hang out for a half an hour or more after your session is over, my time is worth something, I don’t wish to be rude but you got to go. To take this one step further, I really don’t need to receive numerous emails, phone messages, texts, etc. telling me about how your life is going. I understand that you view me as your friend, and it’s not that you are not a nice person, but you are my client. Even though we may have discussed your sexual life and your various relationships in the course of a session, it was within the context of the session, I am not a 24 hour emotional therapist. I am happy that you feel so comfortable with me, but again, remember that we have a client / bodywork therapist relationship where I get paid for my time. I may be able to help you and listen to your issues, but save them for when we are together.
Oh, kissing on the cheek is usually fine, full open mouth kissing may not be so. To many men, this is way more intimate than touching each other's dicks or a prostate massage.
Thank you for listening and treat your therapist well.
If you are going to a masseur who plays with you during the massage, he probably does it with at least 50% of his clients, probably does it at least once a day or more. You are not the special one. No matter how special he makes you feel (that is part of his job). You need to be OK with that. Each will have their own limits, some hate kissing, some will not cum with their clients, some will always remain clothed, some do not like mutual touch. He may have different limits with different clients, most are human and have likes and dislikes and you may not be his type at all, most will do as much as they can but everyone has there limits.
Here is one thing that is true for almost all of them. We do what we do for money. We may like our jobs, some more than others, but it is a job. Most will never date a client, this will cost us said client. Most will not have outside hook-ups for sex with their clients, this is another way to loose a paying client. If you think that you are different than the others we deal with, you may well be, but we can’t take that chance. It amazes me how often I get asked to go on a date, even after I have mentioned my partner. I am also constantly asked to have random hook-ups with my clients. I explain my rules, the why’s and the wherefore’s and still, they say it will be different with them.
Clients have done computer checks to find out if I have any sex ads out there. I have clients who have compared notes with other clients of mine to find out what I have done with them during our sessions. When I discover that a client is that obsessed, I will drop them as a client, usually with an explanation.
Just because a bodyworker gets an erection while working, does not mean that he is really turned by you. Again, this is a part of the job. They may have taken a little blue pill, watched a lot of porn before you arrived and may be thinking about doing it with Wolverine. Here is a good rule of thumb, if the bodyworker is far more attractive than you, he is probably thinking about someone else. Do not assume he wants to have sex with you. Sorry to ruin the fantasy.
Here is another little reality check; I don’t mind chatting with you during our session as long as the focus stays on you. I will answer the occasional questions about my private life, but it is my private life and what I share is up to me. Also, when we talk, it should be on the clock, if you come in and talk to me for 15 minutes before the session starts, it should come off your time… if it doesn’t you should tip well. The same goes for after your session is over, don’t expect to hang out for a half an hour or more after your session is over, my time is worth something, I don’t wish to be rude but you got to go. To take this one step further, I really don’t need to receive numerous emails, phone messages, texts, etc. telling me about how your life is going. I understand that you view me as your friend, and it’s not that you are not a nice person, but you are my client. Even though we may have discussed your sexual life and your various relationships in the course of a session, it was within the context of the session, I am not a 24 hour emotional therapist. I am happy that you feel so comfortable with me, but again, remember that we have a client / bodywork therapist relationship where I get paid for my time. I may be able to help you and listen to your issues, but save them for when we are together.
Oh, kissing on the cheek is usually fine, full open mouth kissing may not be so. To many men, this is way more intimate than touching each other's dicks or a prostate massage.
Thank you for listening and treat your therapist well.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
The fine Italian Man
One of my newest clients is a fine looking Italian man, really from Italy. English is his second language, but he speaks it fairly well. The first thing that makes him stand out is his clothing. He wears only Italian clothes and the cut is remarkable, very fitted and making him look quite slim. I was actually surprised when he undressed and he was not stick thin but rather well built and with a bit of meat on his bones.
He found me on line and had asked a lot of questions about what kind of massage I do and letting me know that he was not American and was very open minded. Well of course we all know what that means. He did not wait to get undressed but started disrobing immediately. I explained the how I wanted him on the table and that there was draping available if he wanted it and excused my self to wash my hands while he finished stripping. When I returned the towel I had left for him to cover himself was tossed aside and he was lying face down on the table. His legs have a soft covering of dark hair over his slightly olive colored skin running up to cover his beautiful bubble butt. His back has very little hair but the hair is thick again on his arms. He had a head of thick dark hair, ever so slightly sprinkled with gray at the temples.
He talked a lot. Again about how he was from Italy and very open minded. Told me he had a wife that he worked here on behalf of his government in Italy (I was then realizing why prostitutes make good spies). He had not given me his real name having already referred to himself by two different names. He was being very respectful, not grabby at all, I appreciate that. As I near his bubble butt he begins to grind the table lightly and wave his ass in the air. I “accidently” let a finger “slip” between those plump cheeks and he shivers slightly. It is time for him to turn over and he is half hard. His hand immediately goes to his dick and plays with it, not aggressively, but rather a constant fondling. He asks me if it bothers me. I reply no and continue with my work. He talks a lot about nudity and how prudish American society is and what would it matter with two consenting adults. I have had a raging boner for this guy for most of the massage, a fact that he of course noticed. I disrobe and he starts complimenting me on my physique and my dick.
If you have ever read my blog before you know that I have about 6 inches of cock, kind of on the narrow side. Great for fucking since most everyone can take it and it does not intimidate too many guys. Still, not what is considered “stunning” in the gay world since it is not huge and on my 6’ frame it can look even a bit smaller, so I take the compliments on my dick with a grain of salt. A client looking for sex will say almost anything.
His dick is quite nice, probably about 6.5 to 7 and thick, though he seems to have some difficulty in keeping it fully erect, the reason I assume he is constantly playing with it. I compliment him on his equipment and he answers with a very sincere sounding “You don’t think it’s ugly?” I tell him of course not, it’s a good sized piece of meat. “Yes” he says “but I’m not cut. Most guys think it’s hideous!” I tell him he obviously has not been playing with the right guys. While it is true most men in the States are circumcised, that just means a lot of them have a healthy fascination with those that are not.
I continue with the massage, working his chest and abs, he still playing with his dick, occasionally reaching over to stroke mine. I replace his hand with mine and start my magic, but after just a few moments I hear the familiar “I don’t want to cum, I want to wait.” He is new so I won’t bother with trying to explain how this is the best time in the massage to cum but rather I nod and release his penis and continue with the massage. Through the rest of my work on his legs and arms and stretching and scalp, neck and face work he is still playing with his dick and occasionally reaching for mine. As I finish my work I once more replace his hand with mine and after a couple of strokes he again tells me “No, I want to wait, it is the anticipation that is the best part.” I explain that the time is up and it’s now or never and he states “I am good, next time.” OK, what ever. We get dressed and he pays (no tip… Europeans) and goes on his way.
His next visit is about 3 weeks later. It all follows about the same routine. At the normal ¾ mark I offer my hand to replace his and again after a few strokes he says “that he wants to wait.” This time I do explain that if he wants an orgasm during his massage, this is really the best time for all over body health, and he still wants to wait. So the massage ends, we are both naked and he asks if I have time to play. I explain that is something that doesn’t really happen. Not that I don’t find him attractive, I do, but I am working. I do offer to give him a hand, he refuses. He asks to taste my dick. OK, fine, but understand that I won’t cum. I’m thinking that he is going to jack off with my dick in his mouth (this is what a lot of guys really seem to like). However, he literally just tastes my dick and asks again “are you sure you can’t play?” Yes, I am sure. He gets dressed and leaves, seemingly disappointed. I also believe this will be the last time I see him.
Wrong. About 5 weeks later he has made another appointment. He seems just a nervous as his first. I don’t try to do more than take the occasional fondle of his cock. I have never and still don’t try a prostate massage, really nothing more than an external rosebud massage on his anus. I don’t try to relieve at the ¾ mark. He still fondles his cock non stop and still fondles mine occasionally. At the end of the massage, I ask if he would like to cum. “Only if you do.” I reply that I would like to see him cum. He says “No, only if you cum as well.” OK, I still find this guy sexy as hell and I have had a hard on for the last 90 minutes so I say what the hell! He sits up and plays with my cock intently, I stroke his lightly, he pauses, “Maybe I shouldn’t I may have to perform tonight.” You can’t do it twice in one day? It’s early yet. “I can cum twice! Of course I can!” He starts to stroke me again and I with him. Within 30 seconds he exclaims “No! Stop! Oh shit, I’m cumming!” He was barely hard! No wonder he didn’t want me to play with him much, he has a hair trigger. “I wanted to see you cum.” Just as well, I would have been breaking several of my own rules. I clean us off and we get dressed. He pays and leaves, this time leaving a $20 tip… about time.
He found me on line and had asked a lot of questions about what kind of massage I do and letting me know that he was not American and was very open minded. Well of course we all know what that means. He did not wait to get undressed but started disrobing immediately. I explained the how I wanted him on the table and that there was draping available if he wanted it and excused my self to wash my hands while he finished stripping. When I returned the towel I had left for him to cover himself was tossed aside and he was lying face down on the table. His legs have a soft covering of dark hair over his slightly olive colored skin running up to cover his beautiful bubble butt. His back has very little hair but the hair is thick again on his arms. He had a head of thick dark hair, ever so slightly sprinkled with gray at the temples.
He talked a lot. Again about how he was from Italy and very open minded. Told me he had a wife that he worked here on behalf of his government in Italy (I was then realizing why prostitutes make good spies). He had not given me his real name having already referred to himself by two different names. He was being very respectful, not grabby at all, I appreciate that. As I near his bubble butt he begins to grind the table lightly and wave his ass in the air. I “accidently” let a finger “slip” between those plump cheeks and he shivers slightly. It is time for him to turn over and he is half hard. His hand immediately goes to his dick and plays with it, not aggressively, but rather a constant fondling. He asks me if it bothers me. I reply no and continue with my work. He talks a lot about nudity and how prudish American society is and what would it matter with two consenting adults. I have had a raging boner for this guy for most of the massage, a fact that he of course noticed. I disrobe and he starts complimenting me on my physique and my dick.
If you have ever read my blog before you know that I have about 6 inches of cock, kind of on the narrow side. Great for fucking since most everyone can take it and it does not intimidate too many guys. Still, not what is considered “stunning” in the gay world since it is not huge and on my 6’ frame it can look even a bit smaller, so I take the compliments on my dick with a grain of salt. A client looking for sex will say almost anything.
His dick is quite nice, probably about 6.5 to 7 and thick, though he seems to have some difficulty in keeping it fully erect, the reason I assume he is constantly playing with it. I compliment him on his equipment and he answers with a very sincere sounding “You don’t think it’s ugly?” I tell him of course not, it’s a good sized piece of meat. “Yes” he says “but I’m not cut. Most guys think it’s hideous!” I tell him he obviously has not been playing with the right guys. While it is true most men in the States are circumcised, that just means a lot of them have a healthy fascination with those that are not.
I continue with the massage, working his chest and abs, he still playing with his dick, occasionally reaching over to stroke mine. I replace his hand with mine and start my magic, but after just a few moments I hear the familiar “I don’t want to cum, I want to wait.” He is new so I won’t bother with trying to explain how this is the best time in the massage to cum but rather I nod and release his penis and continue with the massage. Through the rest of my work on his legs and arms and stretching and scalp, neck and face work he is still playing with his dick and occasionally reaching for mine. As I finish my work I once more replace his hand with mine and after a couple of strokes he again tells me “No, I want to wait, it is the anticipation that is the best part.” I explain that the time is up and it’s now or never and he states “I am good, next time.” OK, what ever. We get dressed and he pays (no tip… Europeans) and goes on his way.
His next visit is about 3 weeks later. It all follows about the same routine. At the normal ¾ mark I offer my hand to replace his and again after a few strokes he says “that he wants to wait.” This time I do explain that if he wants an orgasm during his massage, this is really the best time for all over body health, and he still wants to wait. So the massage ends, we are both naked and he asks if I have time to play. I explain that is something that doesn’t really happen. Not that I don’t find him attractive, I do, but I am working. I do offer to give him a hand, he refuses. He asks to taste my dick. OK, fine, but understand that I won’t cum. I’m thinking that he is going to jack off with my dick in his mouth (this is what a lot of guys really seem to like). However, he literally just tastes my dick and asks again “are you sure you can’t play?” Yes, I am sure. He gets dressed and leaves, seemingly disappointed. I also believe this will be the last time I see him.
Wrong. About 5 weeks later he has made another appointment. He seems just a nervous as his first. I don’t try to do more than take the occasional fondle of his cock. I have never and still don’t try a prostate massage, really nothing more than an external rosebud massage on his anus. I don’t try to relieve at the ¾ mark. He still fondles his cock non stop and still fondles mine occasionally. At the end of the massage, I ask if he would like to cum. “Only if you do.” I reply that I would like to see him cum. He says “No, only if you cum as well.” OK, I still find this guy sexy as hell and I have had a hard on for the last 90 minutes so I say what the hell! He sits up and plays with my cock intently, I stroke his lightly, he pauses, “Maybe I shouldn’t I may have to perform tonight.” You can’t do it twice in one day? It’s early yet. “I can cum twice! Of course I can!” He starts to stroke me again and I with him. Within 30 seconds he exclaims “No! Stop! Oh shit, I’m cumming!” He was barely hard! No wonder he didn’t want me to play with him much, he has a hair trigger. “I wanted to see you cum.” Just as well, I would have been breaking several of my own rules. I clean us off and we get dressed. He pays and leaves, this time leaving a $20 tip… about time.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
A response from a reader....
Dear Readers,
I received the following via email and am now sharing with the world... with permission. I am looking for others feedback on what I said and what the reader says.....
Hi Jack:
I had been in touch with you previously, commenting on some of your previous musings. I feel I want to share my observations "from on the table" regarding your clients "dilemma" about you blowing your load with him...
I am a gay 40 year old guy who happens to have a mild-ish case of cerebral palsy. To get the "picture" just picture the way Charlie Chaplin used to walk - I do it in reverse I turn my toes in....
Now in my 40 years I have done it all...I lived in Germany, CA, NYC and now London. I have tried pretty much everything I can think of to meet guys (and eventually get laid in the process), bars, clubs, gay community centers, gay groups. I even attended a gay dating workshop in New York. I'm telling you all this not to have a whine but to "set the scene" as it were and to help you understand we are not talking "dry spell" here, more like Mojave Desert.
Now I do have a couple of gay friends, unfortunately none of them think of me as a "sex object" (Somebody please objectify me already! I want to unleash my inner sex kitten!) I never manage to get dinner and a movie followed by blow jobs, just dinner and a movie...and I like both...BUT...
I always have had friends who are bodyworkers or escorts. As one of them explained to me recently "Once you have 3 blokes piss on you for money, a little CP is not that big a deal."
My escort friends have actually dissuaded me from hiring an escort but suggested bodywork instead. In their estimation, and my limited escort experience, escorts and bodyworkers are almost diametrically opposed: escorts will try and get the client off as quickly and efficiently as possible, whereas a really good bodyworker will postpone the release to the almost last possible moment.
My advice to anyone looking for a nice way to get off is to find a really nice bodyworker and stick with them! The good ones are hard to find!
Since a good bodyworker knows the male body and understands the power of touch he is oftentimes far more creative sexually/erotically, since focusing strictly on fucking or getting fucked sort of messes up the foreplay a bit, whereas bodywork is all foreplay with just enough hardcore action to drain your balls. There is something filthy yet almost romantic about a skilled man milking and worshipping your cock and encouraging you to spunk.
HOWEVER...Since I have had limited opportunities for mutual pleasuring and mutual orgasms, a bodyworker such as yourself cumming all over my face or in my mouth is heavenly! For whatever reason I don't get much of that out there in the wild, and so to feel I am good enough/hot enough/whatever enough to warrant someone spunking with me is really hot! I don't think I have major self esteem issues. I think I'm (pretty) great, but to get someone else to agree with me to an extent that he'll let me taste his cum seems to be a bit of an issue...
I shared my thoughts with you in the hope that if you cum across - pardon the pun- a really nice, somehow deserving, guy who is gagging for a nice creamy load from you, just make his day and pump one out all over him....I understand how that can subtly change the balance of power, but if you got some nice bloke gagging for it, just think of me and blow your load for him....
I decided to email you rather than comment on your post, so that I could give you my contact details so you don't think I am some kind of cyber weirdo... I even included a pic.... you are welcome to repost some of this if you like...just no contact info please....
So avid readers.... any thoughts?
I received the following via email and am now sharing with the world... with permission. I am looking for others feedback on what I said and what the reader says.....
Hi Jack:
I had been in touch with you previously, commenting on some of your previous musings. I feel I want to share my observations "from on the table" regarding your clients "dilemma" about you blowing your load with him...
I am a gay 40 year old guy who happens to have a mild-ish case of cerebral palsy. To get the "picture" just picture the way Charlie Chaplin used to walk - I do it in reverse I turn my toes in....
Now in my 40 years I have done it all...I lived in Germany, CA, NYC and now London. I have tried pretty much everything I can think of to meet guys (and eventually get laid in the process), bars, clubs, gay community centers, gay groups. I even attended a gay dating workshop in New York. I'm telling you all this not to have a whine but to "set the scene" as it were and to help you understand we are not talking "dry spell" here, more like Mojave Desert.
Now I do have a couple of gay friends, unfortunately none of them think of me as a "sex object" (Somebody please objectify me already! I want to unleash my inner sex kitten!) I never manage to get dinner and a movie followed by blow jobs, just dinner and a movie...and I like both...BUT...
I always have had friends who are bodyworkers or escorts. As one of them explained to me recently "Once you have 3 blokes piss on you for money, a little CP is not that big a deal."
My escort friends have actually dissuaded me from hiring an escort but suggested bodywork instead. In their estimation, and my limited escort experience, escorts and bodyworkers are almost diametrically opposed: escorts will try and get the client off as quickly and efficiently as possible, whereas a really good bodyworker will postpone the release to the almost last possible moment.
My advice to anyone looking for a nice way to get off is to find a really nice bodyworker and stick with them! The good ones are hard to find!
Since a good bodyworker knows the male body and understands the power of touch he is oftentimes far more creative sexually/erotically, since focusing strictly on fucking or getting fucked sort of messes up the foreplay a bit, whereas bodywork is all foreplay with just enough hardcore action to drain your balls. There is something filthy yet almost romantic about a skilled man milking and worshipping your cock and encouraging you to spunk.
HOWEVER...Since I have had limited opportunities for mutual pleasuring and mutual orgasms, a bodyworker such as yourself cumming all over my face or in my mouth is heavenly! For whatever reason I don't get much of that out there in the wild, and so to feel I am good enough/hot enough/whatever enough to warrant someone spunking with me is really hot! I don't think I have major self esteem issues. I think I'm (pretty) great, but to get someone else to agree with me to an extent that he'll let me taste his cum seems to be a bit of an issue...
I shared my thoughts with you in the hope that if you cum across - pardon the pun- a really nice, somehow deserving, guy who is gagging for a nice creamy load from you, just make his day and pump one out all over him....I understand how that can subtly change the balance of power, but if you got some nice bloke gagging for it, just think of me and blow your load for him....
I decided to email you rather than comment on your post, so that I could give you my contact details so you don't think I am some kind of cyber weirdo... I even included a pic.... you are welcome to repost some of this if you like...just no contact info please....
So avid readers.... any thoughts?
Thursday, September 9, 2010
The Sound of Silence.
I work alone in my own apartment. My partner leaves by 8AM and doesn’t return home until 6:30PM. The only people I see at work are my clients, one person at a time in a very relaxed atmosphere with some soft mood music in the background.
If I have to run some errands it is during the day when business is slow, I experience the world slightly different than when I was working in Corporate. The stores are much emptier, few crowds, even the grocery store is peaceful. Yes there is the occasional screaming child but there is usually only one and not a whole slew of them. Even the Laundromat is pretty peaceful during the week day.
Then the weekend comes and I go out with my partner. OMG! The noise level is terrible out there folks! No wonder people need massages! The yelling, the screaming, and I swear whoever invented cell phones needs to be shot. Try talking in a normal voice people, I bet they can still here you. You would think that the texting craze would help, but now people just talk to whomever is with them about who they are texting with.
I am not saying that people should walk around in silence and not have a good time. I understand that volume of the human voice often goes up when a person is excited. It’s just that there are other people in the world who end up hearing everything you say whether they want to or not. We seem a lot less civilized than we used to be.
If I have to run some errands it is during the day when business is slow, I experience the world slightly different than when I was working in Corporate. The stores are much emptier, few crowds, even the grocery store is peaceful. Yes there is the occasional screaming child but there is usually only one and not a whole slew of them. Even the Laundromat is pretty peaceful during the week day.
Then the weekend comes and I go out with my partner. OMG! The noise level is terrible out there folks! No wonder people need massages! The yelling, the screaming, and I swear whoever invented cell phones needs to be shot. Try talking in a normal voice people, I bet they can still here you. You would think that the texting craze would help, but now people just talk to whomever is with them about who they are texting with.
I am not saying that people should walk around in silence and not have a good time. I understand that volume of the human voice often goes up when a person is excited. It’s just that there are other people in the world who end up hearing everything you say whether they want to or not. We seem a lot less civilized than we used to be.
Looks Can Be Deceiving
Last time I talked about my list of notes on clients, nothing that could identify them to a stranger, no addresses, no last names (occasionally a last initial to help identify the numerous Rons, Toms and Johns), no full phone numbers or email addresses; just enough that I can indentify them from a previous visit and what their wants or likes are.
So when Mike called and scheduled an appointment I checked my sheet. He had only been to see me once before and according to my sheet I remained clothed and it was totally legit. I described him as tall, thin, blonde, shy and late 20’s to early 30’s. He called and said he was having issues with his shoulder.
When he arrived he looked a little younger than I remembered. He told me about his shoulder pain in a bit more detail and I left him alone to get on the table and to cover himself. I returned and he was completely covered and I started my work. His shoulder was indeed in bad shape, it felt as if there was definitely some injury. He also had several stress knots through out his back so a lot of time was spent there. His lower back seemed fine so I saved some time there and move to the feet and work up. Now the interesting thing about covering with a towel is that it really doesn’t work to cover much if you shove your genital down between your legs, which is what Mike had done. As I worked his legs they spread further apart, the usual sign for someone wanting a sensual massage including butt work. I have a rule that unless a clear message has been sent, I will not deviate from a prearranged agreement.
When he turns over he is obviously very aroused with a dreamy look on his face. I offer him water and continue with the massage… he groans loudly as I work his chest and abdomen. He reaches for crotch and rubs my erection through my shorts. OK, this well now be a sensual massage. I allow my hands to wander down between his legs lightly stroke his anus before lightly stroking his balls and cock. His eyes are locked on my face as his hands try to find a way inside my shorts to my cock. I help him out by untying my shorts and letting them drop. He strokes my cock as tease his balls. His hand is working it’s way up under my shirt and I remove it. He plays with my nipples as I stroke his anus and tease the whole with the tip of my finger.
He decides now that he wants sex. Not part of my normal service. I try to get him to relax but he is hot and squirming all over the place. He wants to put his hands everywhere on me. I am now trying to get him off so that he will relax and we can finish the massage but he won’t cum. As I have said earlier, 90 seconds to 2 minutes is the norm for a guy to get off once I start actually touching his cock. We are now going 4 minutes and he doesn’t even seem close. He’s obviously enjoying my actions but is also way too focused on me. For some guys, they can only get off if they touch me or give me some pleasure. I fear now that I have a case of a guy who only gets off on getting other guys off. Now my regulars will tell you that this is just not something I do. Some think I just can’t get off, others believe that it must take me hours, most can not believe my staying power, but all know that I do not really want to get off during a session and accept it.
This kid however wants my dick everywhere, he tries to get me in his ass, he wants me in his mouth, and mostly he seems to want to get me off. I explain that isn’t going to happen and he starts begging for my cum on his face, he can’t cum unless I shoot on his face, he’ll do whatever but he needs my cum on his face.
OK. I tell him alright, but I will not to handle my own piece and he will need to handle his. He agrees and grabs his cock and starts jacking as I start jacking my piece right in front of his face. His eyes are glued to my cock as I jack it, his hand is flying on his own piece. I ask if he is getting close and says yes. “Alright” I say, “it’s time. Get ready for my cum. Close your eyes, I don’t want to get it into your face.” He does.
“Yeah dude.” I say “Jack that cock, show me how much you want my cum, yeah man! Jack it. Ready? Here it cums! Oh Fuck! I’m Cumming!” I start grunting up a storm, I let the tip of my cock slap his face repeatedly as I yell. He shouts out “Fuck!” and cums. I cheer him on.
When he is done he wipes his face. “Did you cum? I don’t feel any.”
“Nope” I say. “Told you that I wouldn’t and I didn’t. But you shot a great load, feel better?” He does. When the massage was over (not that there was a lot of time left), I asked him how old he was. He says “19.” You could have knocked me over with a feather. I normally don’t take clients that young. I was tempted to ask for his ID to make sure he was 19 and not any younger but decided that I probably didn’t want to know. He has had some experience with men but not much and just really wanted to see me cum. He asks if I will ever break my rule. I told him I doubt it, but I hope that he will still consider seeing me in the future. He promised to come back as often as he can afford it.
So when Mike called and scheduled an appointment I checked my sheet. He had only been to see me once before and according to my sheet I remained clothed and it was totally legit. I described him as tall, thin, blonde, shy and late 20’s to early 30’s. He called and said he was having issues with his shoulder.
When he arrived he looked a little younger than I remembered. He told me about his shoulder pain in a bit more detail and I left him alone to get on the table and to cover himself. I returned and he was completely covered and I started my work. His shoulder was indeed in bad shape, it felt as if there was definitely some injury. He also had several stress knots through out his back so a lot of time was spent there. His lower back seemed fine so I saved some time there and move to the feet and work up. Now the interesting thing about covering with a towel is that it really doesn’t work to cover much if you shove your genital down between your legs, which is what Mike had done. As I worked his legs they spread further apart, the usual sign for someone wanting a sensual massage including butt work. I have a rule that unless a clear message has been sent, I will not deviate from a prearranged agreement.
When he turns over he is obviously very aroused with a dreamy look on his face. I offer him water and continue with the massage… he groans loudly as I work his chest and abdomen. He reaches for crotch and rubs my erection through my shorts. OK, this well now be a sensual massage. I allow my hands to wander down between his legs lightly stroke his anus before lightly stroking his balls and cock. His eyes are locked on my face as his hands try to find a way inside my shorts to my cock. I help him out by untying my shorts and letting them drop. He strokes my cock as tease his balls. His hand is working it’s way up under my shirt and I remove it. He plays with my nipples as I stroke his anus and tease the whole with the tip of my finger.
He decides now that he wants sex. Not part of my normal service. I try to get him to relax but he is hot and squirming all over the place. He wants to put his hands everywhere on me. I am now trying to get him off so that he will relax and we can finish the massage but he won’t cum. As I have said earlier, 90 seconds to 2 minutes is the norm for a guy to get off once I start actually touching his cock. We are now going 4 minutes and he doesn’t even seem close. He’s obviously enjoying my actions but is also way too focused on me. For some guys, they can only get off if they touch me or give me some pleasure. I fear now that I have a case of a guy who only gets off on getting other guys off. Now my regulars will tell you that this is just not something I do. Some think I just can’t get off, others believe that it must take me hours, most can not believe my staying power, but all know that I do not really want to get off during a session and accept it.
This kid however wants my dick everywhere, he tries to get me in his ass, he wants me in his mouth, and mostly he seems to want to get me off. I explain that isn’t going to happen and he starts begging for my cum on his face, he can’t cum unless I shoot on his face, he’ll do whatever but he needs my cum on his face.
OK. I tell him alright, but I will not to handle my own piece and he will need to handle his. He agrees and grabs his cock and starts jacking as I start jacking my piece right in front of his face. His eyes are glued to my cock as I jack it, his hand is flying on his own piece. I ask if he is getting close and says yes. “Alright” I say, “it’s time. Get ready for my cum. Close your eyes, I don’t want to get it into your face.” He does.
“Yeah dude.” I say “Jack that cock, show me how much you want my cum, yeah man! Jack it. Ready? Here it cums! Oh Fuck! I’m Cumming!” I start grunting up a storm, I let the tip of my cock slap his face repeatedly as I yell. He shouts out “Fuck!” and cums. I cheer him on.
When he is done he wipes his face. “Did you cum? I don’t feel any.”
“Nope” I say. “Told you that I wouldn’t and I didn’t. But you shot a great load, feel better?” He does. When the massage was over (not that there was a lot of time left), I asked him how old he was. He says “19.” You could have knocked me over with a feather. I normally don’t take clients that young. I was tempted to ask for his ID to make sure he was 19 and not any younger but decided that I probably didn’t want to know. He has had some experience with men but not much and just really wanted to see me cum. He asks if I will ever break my rule. I told him I doubt it, but I hope that he will still consider seeing me in the future. He promised to come back as often as he can afford it.
No Orgasm, Thank You!
Not all of my clients want a “Happy Ending” or in my case, “Happy Middle.” I have a number of very legit clients who come to me for just a normal Swedish/Deep Tissue massage. I like to think that most of my clients would come see me even if I didn’t do sensual work, though I may be dreaming on that front.
There is also another group that see me occasionally, those who want sensual massage with no orgasm. Their reasons could be many and varied: they don’t feel they are cheating if they have no orgasm (really), they save their orgasms for their partner, they enjoy the building of sexual energy and want to keep it high, they view edging as a fetish, they are someone’s slave and it what their master wishes, they are exploring non orgasm sex, etc., I have actually heard all of these reasons, and others don’t share their reasons.
These clients make note taking on my part imperative. Case in point, last week I had a returning client and the note I had on my spread sheet simply said “Does not want Orgasm.” So I was giving a sensual massage with anal work, prostate work and other sensual touching while he was on his stomach. When he turned over I worked my way down to his crotch and very lightly and honorably stroked his cock once and moved on. The poor man freaked out on me and got very upset that I touched his penis. Apparently everything else was fine and he liked having the raging hard-on but did not want his penis touched, ever. This was the fault of both of us, he should have made his rules clear and I should have taken better notes. He didn’t want his penis touched on the previous visit either and I had not made that note.
The other day I had a new client the other day, a gorgeous Italian man, who had asked in advance for a very therapeutic massage. Once he arrived he said he did not need a towel for covering himself as he was very open minded. By this time, I know when I hear a phrase like “I am very open minded” that he wants a therapeutic and sensual massage. I decide that I will focus on the therapeutic aspect as much as possible. He is a beautiful man with a very nice ass with the perfect amount of body hair and a lovely color to his skin… so I really needed to focus on the therapeutic touch.
He was definitely a groaner and enjoyed my touch. He occasionally made contact with my leg when I was standing close to the table. I behaved and did not massage his prostate or even his ass lips. When he turned over he was obviously aroused and even asked for a Kleenex to wipe up some of the pre-cum. He asks me if I would be comfortable nude. I go ahead and undress and allow the massage to go into the sensual side. I lovingly stroke his body and start paying attention to his genitals and anal area. He asks me to take it easy with his penis as he is very close. “I don’t want to cum, it will ruin it” he says. “I love the anticipation.” He did enjoy touching me as much as I would allow him and asked for full body contact both on his front side and then again when our time was just about out on his back side. He thanks me repeatedly saying that I was the best massage experience he had found since coming to the States. He tells me about his wife and the troubles they have, how he has always enjoyed the touch of men and women, how repressed America is, how he misses the European values, and how he hopes to see me again is a couple of weeks. No tip. Just saying, nice guy, very attractive, but I remember the fact that there was not tip. I know, Europeans don’t tip. Anyway, all of this goes into short hand in my notes. The clothed to nude aspect that I did, the amount of ass play he seems to like, no ejaculation, the full body contact, his looks, age, no tip, the amount of time we went over, etc. Hopefully, if he does return in a couple of weeks, I will be able to give him better what he wants without going overboard, after all there was no tip ;-).
There is also another group that see me occasionally, those who want sensual massage with no orgasm. Their reasons could be many and varied: they don’t feel they are cheating if they have no orgasm (really), they save their orgasms for their partner, they enjoy the building of sexual energy and want to keep it high, they view edging as a fetish, they are someone’s slave and it what their master wishes, they are exploring non orgasm sex, etc., I have actually heard all of these reasons, and others don’t share their reasons.
These clients make note taking on my part imperative. Case in point, last week I had a returning client and the note I had on my spread sheet simply said “Does not want Orgasm.” So I was giving a sensual massage with anal work, prostate work and other sensual touching while he was on his stomach. When he turned over I worked my way down to his crotch and very lightly and honorably stroked his cock once and moved on. The poor man freaked out on me and got very upset that I touched his penis. Apparently everything else was fine and he liked having the raging hard-on but did not want his penis touched, ever. This was the fault of both of us, he should have made his rules clear and I should have taken better notes. He didn’t want his penis touched on the previous visit either and I had not made that note.
The other day I had a new client the other day, a gorgeous Italian man, who had asked in advance for a very therapeutic massage. Once he arrived he said he did not need a towel for covering himself as he was very open minded. By this time, I know when I hear a phrase like “I am very open minded” that he wants a therapeutic and sensual massage. I decide that I will focus on the therapeutic aspect as much as possible. He is a beautiful man with a very nice ass with the perfect amount of body hair and a lovely color to his skin… so I really needed to focus on the therapeutic touch.
He was definitely a groaner and enjoyed my touch. He occasionally made contact with my leg when I was standing close to the table. I behaved and did not massage his prostate or even his ass lips. When he turned over he was obviously aroused and even asked for a Kleenex to wipe up some of the pre-cum. He asks me if I would be comfortable nude. I go ahead and undress and allow the massage to go into the sensual side. I lovingly stroke his body and start paying attention to his genitals and anal area. He asks me to take it easy with his penis as he is very close. “I don’t want to cum, it will ruin it” he says. “I love the anticipation.” He did enjoy touching me as much as I would allow him and asked for full body contact both on his front side and then again when our time was just about out on his back side. He thanks me repeatedly saying that I was the best massage experience he had found since coming to the States. He tells me about his wife and the troubles they have, how he has always enjoyed the touch of men and women, how repressed America is, how he misses the European values, and how he hopes to see me again is a couple of weeks. No tip. Just saying, nice guy, very attractive, but I remember the fact that there was not tip. I know, Europeans don’t tip. Anyway, all of this goes into short hand in my notes. The clothed to nude aspect that I did, the amount of ass play he seems to like, no ejaculation, the full body contact, his looks, age, no tip, the amount of time we went over, etc. Hopefully, if he does return in a couple of weeks, I will be able to give him better what he wants without going overboard, after all there was no tip ;-).
Monday, July 26, 2010
Old Age...
Old age. It will hit all of us, if we are lucky.
A new client the other day reminded me how rough getting older can be.
The gentleman whom I will call Ira is somewhere between 70 and death. He is very winded from climbing the one flight of stairs to my humble abode and needs to sit and breathe for a few minutes. According to the pre-massage interview, he gets a massage about once every two months. He prefers male masseurs since he doesn’t want any funny business that happens with some of those female Asian places. He also likes to be uncovered during the massage. He mentions a few sore spots from where he had fallen the week before. I tell him to undress and lay on the table face down as I wash my hands.
I return and he is lying on the table, there is a definite order now in the room that was not there before. It is the old man smell. The smell of a body decaying before it is dead. His feet and ankles are swollen. The skin on his body is saggy and loose and smells of decay. There are scabs in patches on various areas which I assume are from the fall that he had mentioned – on his shoulder blade and hip and later I will find them on his legs, feet and hands including a swollen finger that appears broken but not bandaged or splinted.
I check to make sure that he is comfortable and go to work. I ask him who he normally sees and he mentions a man named David at an address I am familiar with. I go to work with my massage cream. He likes a fairly firm pressure and I oblige. The skin is soaking in the massage cream as fast as I can apply it. My hands are feeling sticky and I realize that there is so much dead skin coming off his body that it is turning the massage cream into a paste on my hands. I have to clean my hands every 5 minutes or so.
I go to a place in my mind that will help me through this. I go into full empathy mode. I relate to the age of the man and his needs. I feel the wear of the years, the loneliness that comes from living longer than your loved ones. I give support and care. I send love and compassion. I think about how I might someday be in his place and about the kind of care and attention I would want.
I give a very caring and thorough and completely legit massage. Not even the slightest hint of anything sexual, I really don’t think I could of if I tried. He did not make any advances either; he was looking for a regular massage. Not that I have not had men on my table who were his age or older who did want a sexual massage, one gentleman drove 20 miles from his assisted living retirement home to come to me for a massage with release.
When I am finished, I get a warm wash cloth and wipe away the remaining dead skin and massage cream. I gently towel him dry. He looks very peaceful and happy. I am incredibly drained.
He compliments my work and pays the exact amount for a 90 minute session (I knew there would be no tip). I ask him why he was changing masseurs, he replies that his old masseur David whom he liked very much, sent a message that he has moved away from the area.
Now, I happen to know the Masseur David about whom he was speaking from the address he had given me earlier. David has not moved. David was passing this client on to the universe. David is a nice guy, I have exchanged massages with him and had several nice chats. However, I do understand completely what he has done. A client like Ira requires a ton of energy, stamina, and an ability to keep your lunch down when smelling death. None of this is easy. He will never tip. He will always come to you smelling of death and covered with dead skin. Hell, I have passed a client or two onto the universe as well. You see, they will come to you as regular as clock work until they die. It is the knowledge that they will be back time and again that makes it so much more difficult. If Ira came to me just this once, I can work through it like I did and feel good that I did something nice for an old man. However, he will now come back in that same state every 8 weeks or so (he could never afford once a month) with 8 weeks of dead skin and stank on him and expect the same level of care and work that you gave him that first time. As a professional, you suck it up and do it as long as you can but there comes a day when you just can’t face that particular Ira again. You don’t have the energy or the stomach for it anymore. You have to cut him loose. So, you make up a story of going out of business, new job, different hours, moving away… anything so your Ira will move on. It sounds terrible, but it’s true.
I will keep Ira as long as I can handle him, and then send him out to the universe, with a recommendation to one of my competitors who I know is compassionate enough to put up with him for awhile as well.
A new client the other day reminded me how rough getting older can be.
The gentleman whom I will call Ira is somewhere between 70 and death. He is very winded from climbing the one flight of stairs to my humble abode and needs to sit and breathe for a few minutes. According to the pre-massage interview, he gets a massage about once every two months. He prefers male masseurs since he doesn’t want any funny business that happens with some of those female Asian places. He also likes to be uncovered during the massage. He mentions a few sore spots from where he had fallen the week before. I tell him to undress and lay on the table face down as I wash my hands.
I return and he is lying on the table, there is a definite order now in the room that was not there before. It is the old man smell. The smell of a body decaying before it is dead. His feet and ankles are swollen. The skin on his body is saggy and loose and smells of decay. There are scabs in patches on various areas which I assume are from the fall that he had mentioned – on his shoulder blade and hip and later I will find them on his legs, feet and hands including a swollen finger that appears broken but not bandaged or splinted.
I check to make sure that he is comfortable and go to work. I ask him who he normally sees and he mentions a man named David at an address I am familiar with. I go to work with my massage cream. He likes a fairly firm pressure and I oblige. The skin is soaking in the massage cream as fast as I can apply it. My hands are feeling sticky and I realize that there is so much dead skin coming off his body that it is turning the massage cream into a paste on my hands. I have to clean my hands every 5 minutes or so.
I go to a place in my mind that will help me through this. I go into full empathy mode. I relate to the age of the man and his needs. I feel the wear of the years, the loneliness that comes from living longer than your loved ones. I give support and care. I send love and compassion. I think about how I might someday be in his place and about the kind of care and attention I would want.
I give a very caring and thorough and completely legit massage. Not even the slightest hint of anything sexual, I really don’t think I could of if I tried. He did not make any advances either; he was looking for a regular massage. Not that I have not had men on my table who were his age or older who did want a sexual massage, one gentleman drove 20 miles from his assisted living retirement home to come to me for a massage with release.
When I am finished, I get a warm wash cloth and wipe away the remaining dead skin and massage cream. I gently towel him dry. He looks very peaceful and happy. I am incredibly drained.
He compliments my work and pays the exact amount for a 90 minute session (I knew there would be no tip). I ask him why he was changing masseurs, he replies that his old masseur David whom he liked very much, sent a message that he has moved away from the area.
Now, I happen to know the Masseur David about whom he was speaking from the address he had given me earlier. David has not moved. David was passing this client on to the universe. David is a nice guy, I have exchanged massages with him and had several nice chats. However, I do understand completely what he has done. A client like Ira requires a ton of energy, stamina, and an ability to keep your lunch down when smelling death. None of this is easy. He will never tip. He will always come to you smelling of death and covered with dead skin. Hell, I have passed a client or two onto the universe as well. You see, they will come to you as regular as clock work until they die. It is the knowledge that they will be back time and again that makes it so much more difficult. If Ira came to me just this once, I can work through it like I did and feel good that I did something nice for an old man. However, he will now come back in that same state every 8 weeks or so (he could never afford once a month) with 8 weeks of dead skin and stank on him and expect the same level of care and work that you gave him that first time. As a professional, you suck it up and do it as long as you can but there comes a day when you just can’t face that particular Ira again. You don’t have the energy or the stomach for it anymore. You have to cut him loose. So, you make up a story of going out of business, new job, different hours, moving away… anything so your Ira will move on. It sounds terrible, but it’s true.
I will keep Ira as long as I can handle him, and then send him out to the universe, with a recommendation to one of my competitors who I know is compassionate enough to put up with him for awhile as well.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
I am alive.
I know that it has been an eternity since I posted. I am alive and well and thinking. Probably over thinking. I do have things to write about, but I also want them to be good. Plus I am still trying to figure best where to go next in my life. More later, I promise.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Sexual addiction
There have been a number of celebrities who have been caught by the press cheating on their spouses and then enter rehab for sex addiction, is it real?
I am supposed to be looking for steadier work right now. I am having a bit of a focus problem. You see, I just can’t seem to focus on finding a job until after I masturbate. It’s silly but true. Once I orgasm then I’m fine and I can buckle down and do what needs to be done. The issue? I don’t want to do that first thing in the morning in case I get a last minute client, I need to be “up” for my work. I could take my chances and figure that when the time comes, my erection won’t fail me, but speaking from experience, it is much more difficult to keep an erection up if I already had a morning orgasm. I can get one, just can’t keep it up for the whole session.
The reason I am sharing this is I was recently asked by a client about sex addiction and whether I know anyone who suffers from it. I guess that depends on your definition of sex addiction. I have had clients who have discussed with me some of their issues and identified themselves as sex addicts. I am not a huge fan of labels, but if it helps you define who you are then more power to you. Basically a sexual addiction is when sex interferes with your ability to live your everyday life. It has really nothing to do with number of partners or the kind of sex you have. There are those who would like to believe that a person with a sexual addiction will have sex whenever they can with whomever the can, and while a person who exhibits such behavior would most likely have a sexual addiction all sex addicts are different and have very different practices.
I have an orgasm every day, sometimes more than one. Does that make me an addict? No. Can’t find a job because I can’t stop thinking about sex? Maybe, but not if I just go ahead and masturbate and find a job, then it is not a problem.
So, it stands to reason that a person who likes to have sex with every day but can still hold down a relationship and a job and follow his other dreams does not have a sexual addiction problem, even if he is having a different partner every day. It also stands to reason if a person who likes sex a lot and decides to be a prostitute does not have a sexual addiction since he has changed his lifestyle to fit his sexual needs.
Gay men have a reputation of having very high sex drives. I think that most men, straight or gay have high sex drives. It is just a matter of opportunity. If straight men thought that they could have sex at any given moment, and nobody would care, I am sure they would.
So, back to me, before I started working as a bodyworker, did I have issues with Sexual Addiction? I don’t think so. I held down a government job for a number of years and before that I ran a live theater, before that, I taught at a University. Through all of these jobs (and a few others thrown in here and there) I still masturbated every day, sometimes more than once, and it never interfered with my work. Yes, occasionally I would throw one off in the privacy of a men’s room at work, but only on my break and usually alone, and then I would go back to work.
I would probably be more likely to worry about this if I had not spoken to literally hundreds of men, straight and gay, who have discussed the same issues. I don’t want you to fret if this does not describe you, like all things in the world, the level of sex drive in individuals varies a great deal. However, there are more than a few of us who find an orgasm a day to be the ideal. Almost every man whom I have discussed such things with admits that he still masturbates, even if he does have multiple partners with whom to have sex, again this includes straight and gay men. It unusual for most men if they have not had an orgasm in a few days, unless they are “Saving up” for some special event (I have more than one client who like to do this before a visit with me). Most men have confessed to “rubbing one out” in the men’s room at work occasionally. Some men like to start the day with an orgasm, others like to do it before they go to sleep.
There can be other issues related to sexual addiction such as the need for more extreme thrills, the need for multiple partners, the need for BDSM activities, in short if you need an extra element for you to orgasm and this "need" continues to grow. In the short term, this may not seem like an issue, but as time goes on, it becomes harder and harder to fulfill these extra needs. Issues like this may definitely require some therapy. Of course if you want to talk to a therapist about anything in your sex life, you should not hesitate to do so. It can make you feel better and help identify if there is a problem or not.
So the answer to my daytime issues with job hunting and getting a "grip" on my want or need to orgasm and my worry about last minute clients is this: if I do not have a client scheduled after 1:30 PM by 1:30 PM, I will go ahead and masturbate so I can focus on the rest of what I need to get done. So if you call me after 1:30 for a same day appointment, you are taking your chances if you want an erection from me. ;-)
Now, if I could only get to work without my three cups of coffee in the morning, my hour or so of facebook and let's face it, my day always seems better when I start it with a fresh apple fritter. These are all far worse addictions in my book.
- Jack
I am supposed to be looking for steadier work right now. I am having a bit of a focus problem. You see, I just can’t seem to focus on finding a job until after I masturbate. It’s silly but true. Once I orgasm then I’m fine and I can buckle down and do what needs to be done. The issue? I don’t want to do that first thing in the morning in case I get a last minute client, I need to be “up” for my work. I could take my chances and figure that when the time comes, my erection won’t fail me, but speaking from experience, it is much more difficult to keep an erection up if I already had a morning orgasm. I can get one, just can’t keep it up for the whole session.
The reason I am sharing this is I was recently asked by a client about sex addiction and whether I know anyone who suffers from it. I guess that depends on your definition of sex addiction. I have had clients who have discussed with me some of their issues and identified themselves as sex addicts. I am not a huge fan of labels, but if it helps you define who you are then more power to you. Basically a sexual addiction is when sex interferes with your ability to live your everyday life. It has really nothing to do with number of partners or the kind of sex you have. There are those who would like to believe that a person with a sexual addiction will have sex whenever they can with whomever the can, and while a person who exhibits such behavior would most likely have a sexual addiction all sex addicts are different and have very different practices.
I have an orgasm every day, sometimes more than one. Does that make me an addict? No. Can’t find a job because I can’t stop thinking about sex? Maybe, but not if I just go ahead and masturbate and find a job, then it is not a problem.
So, it stands to reason that a person who likes to have sex with every day but can still hold down a relationship and a job and follow his other dreams does not have a sexual addiction problem, even if he is having a different partner every day. It also stands to reason if a person who likes sex a lot and decides to be a prostitute does not have a sexual addiction since he has changed his lifestyle to fit his sexual needs.
Gay men have a reputation of having very high sex drives. I think that most men, straight or gay have high sex drives. It is just a matter of opportunity. If straight men thought that they could have sex at any given moment, and nobody would care, I am sure they would.
So, back to me, before I started working as a bodyworker, did I have issues with Sexual Addiction? I don’t think so. I held down a government job for a number of years and before that I ran a live theater, before that, I taught at a University. Through all of these jobs (and a few others thrown in here and there) I still masturbated every day, sometimes more than once, and it never interfered with my work. Yes, occasionally I would throw one off in the privacy of a men’s room at work, but only on my break and usually alone, and then I would go back to work.
I would probably be more likely to worry about this if I had not spoken to literally hundreds of men, straight and gay, who have discussed the same issues. I don’t want you to fret if this does not describe you, like all things in the world, the level of sex drive in individuals varies a great deal. However, there are more than a few of us who find an orgasm a day to be the ideal. Almost every man whom I have discussed such things with admits that he still masturbates, even if he does have multiple partners with whom to have sex, again this includes straight and gay men. It unusual for most men if they have not had an orgasm in a few days, unless they are “Saving up” for some special event (I have more than one client who like to do this before a visit with me). Most men have confessed to “rubbing one out” in the men’s room at work occasionally. Some men like to start the day with an orgasm, others like to do it before they go to sleep.
There can be other issues related to sexual addiction such as the need for more extreme thrills, the need for multiple partners, the need for BDSM activities, in short if you need an extra element for you to orgasm and this "need" continues to grow. In the short term, this may not seem like an issue, but as time goes on, it becomes harder and harder to fulfill these extra needs. Issues like this may definitely require some therapy. Of course if you want to talk to a therapist about anything in your sex life, you should not hesitate to do so. It can make you feel better and help identify if there is a problem or not.
So the answer to my daytime issues with job hunting and getting a "grip" on my want or need to orgasm and my worry about last minute clients is this: if I do not have a client scheduled after 1:30 PM by 1:30 PM, I will go ahead and masturbate so I can focus on the rest of what I need to get done. So if you call me after 1:30 for a same day appointment, you are taking your chances if you want an erection from me. ;-)
Now, if I could only get to work without my three cups of coffee in the morning, my hour or so of facebook and let's face it, my day always seems better when I start it with a fresh apple fritter. These are all far worse addictions in my book.
- Jack
Sunday, February 21, 2010
The Life Chosen...
It is Sunday as I am typing this, a rather quiet day. It is a slow period of the month and the weather is slightly better than it’s been in weeks so everyone is out enjoying it and not getting massage.
Of course I often don’t work on Sundays for other reasons. It is a day I often spend with my partner. So I shouldn’t be surprised when I have a free Sunday to work, that I end up with no clients. Business has been slow lately and I am again looking for extra income. I know that I should really pursue a new career and do massage part time (if at all), but who would want to give up my life? ;-)
As I said, it is Sunday, my partner is away today attending a conference and will be back by this evening. So I am sitting here typing in the nude (why dress and make more laundry for myself?). I have a new porno playing on the DVD player to keep in the mood. It is Rocks and Hard Places, a Kristen Bjorn video, I love his stuff. Yes they are a bit all the same but they are really well done. He uses nice relaxing background music instead of the cheesy 70’s porn soundtrack that you still hear on a lot of videos. He uses models from all over the world, though he seems to have a fondness for Italians, Spaniards, and other Mediterranean types. His early work was very plot heavy and often whimsical; lately he has been more into just getting as many attractive men together as possible. He loves outdoor scenes. He also averages a cum shot every 7.5 minutes (and more cum shots per movie than any other director I’ve seen). Bottoms always shoot with a hard dick up their ass. Someone who is sucking cock will cum with out missing a stroke. Generally, everyone in the scene will cum at least three times. If I have any issues with his work is that generally he does follow a bit of a formula, sucking till they cum, fucking till they cum, rimming till they cum and then start over with the next group. He does usually work in at least one very unusual position or true double penetration and he is big on the daisy chain sucking in group scenes.
Well, I got a bit off the subject there, what I wanted to talk about was a bit about my lifestyle. Yesterday I went to a nudist happy hour, since my partner was at a conference. I feel weird about going without him and he only likes to go once in a very great while (like once a year or so). I am sure that if he were single he would go more often, but there is always a bit of weirdness when we go to events like that together. Worrying about if the other is having a good time and then wondering if they are having too good of a time. Some couples have that down to a science, we do not. We both learned long ago that these types of situations are just not easy when we are there as a couple (though it is easier if we are out of town).
Now I had not been to the naked happy hour in probably a year. I saw a few friends there, but generally it was a lot of strangers. I was not as nearly social as I could have been or should have been. I even left very early as I was just not in the mood to be outgoing. It happens. I was also not in the mood to drink which may have been an issue. I also was feeling bloated. Now I do carry at least 10 extra pounds (some would argue more) but I know deep down that I am not obese. In the straight world I am considered skinny. Now the naked happy hour is not filled with gods and Adonises, though there are few there, and it is not about hook ups or sex (there are strict rules about behavior at most of these events), but you still don’t want to be seen as the fat one. There were several men who were much larger than I and much older than I who were having a great time and being very social. I just couldn’t get there. I have in the past with no problems. I was just not in the right mood and realized I only went because my partner was at a conference and I would not be missed for a few hours.
I sometimes wonder if my daily life of not having to be dressed often, seeing other naked men, engaging in some sexual activity on a regular basis is making me a bit jaded about these other events. It is true that I almost never see any other bodyworkers at these events. I almost never get aroused at these events (most of the other men do, it is not big deal). Oh well, be thankful of the fun that I have that they don’t.
Which brings me to one of the favorite parts of my life; I get to hear the confessions of all kinds of people. Take for example a fairly new friend of mine I met in the theater world. I will call him Kevin. We were working on a show together and figured out that we were somewhat kindred spirits, both a little left of center. I am very out about being gay and doing massage work (not so much about the other stuff that can go on). Well after the run was over we were exchanging some emails and he shares with me a bit about his sex life including a secret blog he writes about his sexual adventures. Apparently my friend Kevin is a bit of a swinger with his wife and back in the day was into a bit of the ol’ S and M world. Go Kevin! Love Kinky straight people. Then he also shares that he is a bit of a bisexual as well! Alright, you go boy! Even though I feel that labels are really not necessary, if it helps to put a label on yourself, go ahead. Of course since he was sharing all of that, I shared with him this blog so he could get caught up on where I was coming from, more or less. He may or may not make an appointment some day. We’ll see. I have no illusions that anything would happen, I am totally not his type, he likes “skater” boys.;-)
But what made me think of him was that most (not all) but most all of his adventures were the past, like over ten years in the past. As we were emailing, I shared with him that I was naked at the time, something that I know he enjoys. He told me that unfortunately with a 10 year old boy, he does not feel that he can enjoy that around home so much. Now I know that he loves his family more than anything in the world, as do most of my married clients, and wouldn’t trade them for anything, but many of them envy me for the freedoms that I have. To sit naked and type in my journal, go to a naked happy hour when I please, have sexual adventures at the drop of a hat.
Now Kevin has shared with his readers and with me some of his previous experiences and I must say that I was impressed. Very few people can learn at an early enough age that there is a lot more to sex than what we are taught by our parents. His first experience with a man was sweet and touching and hot! He discovered that he loves to suck cock! He was a major player in one of the local straight BDSM groups. He knows the joys of setting yourself free from inhibitions and the pitfalls that can happen (like how difficult it is to have a successful three-way and what jealousy can do to otherwise sane people).
Kevin has a very cool wife and they have played together on a number of occasions with both men and women, and as far as I know continue to do so when there is a chance. Chances are just fewer and farther between these days. While it would be easier for him to play with out her, he doesn’t think she would like that, so he doesn’t (as far as I know). So he writes about his days gone by and occasionally plans for a time when he and his wife can find that certain set of right circumstances when the stars align and they can play together with a man or woman (or both) of their choice.
So, is life like a porno? Not really, they are fiction, and Kristin Bjorn will take days to shoot a truly successful 20 minute scene. Not everyone in the world looks like a porn star. Not every opportunity for sex is taken. Not all scenes end with everyone cumming. Every one does not have a good time, every time. There is no instant soundtrack. However, there is a lot of fun to be had. Whatever choices that you make, just be happy. Don’t look at someone else and wish that you had their life. Just enjoy the life you’ve chosen. Who knows, someone maybe looking at you with envy. ;-)
Of course I often don’t work on Sundays for other reasons. It is a day I often spend with my partner. So I shouldn’t be surprised when I have a free Sunday to work, that I end up with no clients. Business has been slow lately and I am again looking for extra income. I know that I should really pursue a new career and do massage part time (if at all), but who would want to give up my life? ;-)
As I said, it is Sunday, my partner is away today attending a conference and will be back by this evening. So I am sitting here typing in the nude (why dress and make more laundry for myself?). I have a new porno playing on the DVD player to keep in the mood. It is Rocks and Hard Places, a Kristen Bjorn video, I love his stuff. Yes they are a bit all the same but they are really well done. He uses nice relaxing background music instead of the cheesy 70’s porn soundtrack that you still hear on a lot of videos. He uses models from all over the world, though he seems to have a fondness for Italians, Spaniards, and other Mediterranean types. His early work was very plot heavy and often whimsical; lately he has been more into just getting as many attractive men together as possible. He loves outdoor scenes. He also averages a cum shot every 7.5 minutes (and more cum shots per movie than any other director I’ve seen). Bottoms always shoot with a hard dick up their ass. Someone who is sucking cock will cum with out missing a stroke. Generally, everyone in the scene will cum at least three times. If I have any issues with his work is that generally he does follow a bit of a formula, sucking till they cum, fucking till they cum, rimming till they cum and then start over with the next group. He does usually work in at least one very unusual position or true double penetration and he is big on the daisy chain sucking in group scenes.
Well, I got a bit off the subject there, what I wanted to talk about was a bit about my lifestyle. Yesterday I went to a nudist happy hour, since my partner was at a conference. I feel weird about going without him and he only likes to go once in a very great while (like once a year or so). I am sure that if he were single he would go more often, but there is always a bit of weirdness when we go to events like that together. Worrying about if the other is having a good time and then wondering if they are having too good of a time. Some couples have that down to a science, we do not. We both learned long ago that these types of situations are just not easy when we are there as a couple (though it is easier if we are out of town).
Now I had not been to the naked happy hour in probably a year. I saw a few friends there, but generally it was a lot of strangers. I was not as nearly social as I could have been or should have been. I even left very early as I was just not in the mood to be outgoing. It happens. I was also not in the mood to drink which may have been an issue. I also was feeling bloated. Now I do carry at least 10 extra pounds (some would argue more) but I know deep down that I am not obese. In the straight world I am considered skinny. Now the naked happy hour is not filled with gods and Adonises, though there are few there, and it is not about hook ups or sex (there are strict rules about behavior at most of these events), but you still don’t want to be seen as the fat one. There were several men who were much larger than I and much older than I who were having a great time and being very social. I just couldn’t get there. I have in the past with no problems. I was just not in the right mood and realized I only went because my partner was at a conference and I would not be missed for a few hours.
I sometimes wonder if my daily life of not having to be dressed often, seeing other naked men, engaging in some sexual activity on a regular basis is making me a bit jaded about these other events. It is true that I almost never see any other bodyworkers at these events. I almost never get aroused at these events (most of the other men do, it is not big deal). Oh well, be thankful of the fun that I have that they don’t.
Which brings me to one of the favorite parts of my life; I get to hear the confessions of all kinds of people. Take for example a fairly new friend of mine I met in the theater world. I will call him Kevin. We were working on a show together and figured out that we were somewhat kindred spirits, both a little left of center. I am very out about being gay and doing massage work (not so much about the other stuff that can go on). Well after the run was over we were exchanging some emails and he shares with me a bit about his sex life including a secret blog he writes about his sexual adventures. Apparently my friend Kevin is a bit of a swinger with his wife and back in the day was into a bit of the ol’ S and M world. Go Kevin! Love Kinky straight people. Then he also shares that he is a bit of a bisexual as well! Alright, you go boy! Even though I feel that labels are really not necessary, if it helps to put a label on yourself, go ahead. Of course since he was sharing all of that, I shared with him this blog so he could get caught up on where I was coming from, more or less. He may or may not make an appointment some day. We’ll see. I have no illusions that anything would happen, I am totally not his type, he likes “skater” boys.;-)
But what made me think of him was that most (not all) but most all of his adventures were the past, like over ten years in the past. As we were emailing, I shared with him that I was naked at the time, something that I know he enjoys. He told me that unfortunately with a 10 year old boy, he does not feel that he can enjoy that around home so much. Now I know that he loves his family more than anything in the world, as do most of my married clients, and wouldn’t trade them for anything, but many of them envy me for the freedoms that I have. To sit naked and type in my journal, go to a naked happy hour when I please, have sexual adventures at the drop of a hat.
Now Kevin has shared with his readers and with me some of his previous experiences and I must say that I was impressed. Very few people can learn at an early enough age that there is a lot more to sex than what we are taught by our parents. His first experience with a man was sweet and touching and hot! He discovered that he loves to suck cock! He was a major player in one of the local straight BDSM groups. He knows the joys of setting yourself free from inhibitions and the pitfalls that can happen (like how difficult it is to have a successful three-way and what jealousy can do to otherwise sane people).
Kevin has a very cool wife and they have played together on a number of occasions with both men and women, and as far as I know continue to do so when there is a chance. Chances are just fewer and farther between these days. While it would be easier for him to play with out her, he doesn’t think she would like that, so he doesn’t (as far as I know). So he writes about his days gone by and occasionally plans for a time when he and his wife can find that certain set of right circumstances when the stars align and they can play together with a man or woman (or both) of their choice.
So, is life like a porno? Not really, they are fiction, and Kristin Bjorn will take days to shoot a truly successful 20 minute scene. Not everyone in the world looks like a porn star. Not every opportunity for sex is taken. Not all scenes end with everyone cumming. Every one does not have a good time, every time. There is no instant soundtrack. However, there is a lot of fun to be had. Whatever choices that you make, just be happy. Don’t look at someone else and wish that you had their life. Just enjoy the life you’ve chosen. Who knows, someone maybe looking at you with envy. ;-)
Sunday, January 24, 2010
More about Clients
This week I was reminded again about what kind or hole we fill in this world.
One of my favorite clients, who has come to see me for several years, came to see me this week. I was happy to hear from him, it had been a few months since I had last seen him. I knew the economy had cost him his job over a year ago and he had not found anything permanent to replace it yet. I still stick by my policy of no discounts even in hard times (you don’t have to tip me) but once discounts start happening, there is no turning back.
Anyway, back to the client. “Don” is a very giving person, one of the nicest guys I have ever met. His former job was fundraising for a non-profit for people with AIDS. He would ride every year in a national AIDS bike ride fundraiser. In addition he volunteers as a director at local community theaters and had been taking artistic photographs for fun. He has a partner whom I have never met, but to whom he is devoted. I know what you are thinking, how devoted is he if he is seeing an erotic masseur, well, extremely. He and his partner have different sex drives and Don would rather pay a little cash to get what he is missing at home than to look for someone else, he loves his partner.
Don is a very sensual man, his nipples are very sensitive and he has a need to give pleasure as well as receive it. I was amazed that one of the first times he saw me that he came without either of us touching his cock simply by him sucking mine and my playing with his nips. Over the years, he would usually see me once a month and most of the time it was always both a delight and hot. He is not what you may consider the hottest looking man. He is mid 50’s, rather large belly, but still very toned legs and arms, rather hairless, average cock and a very round soft ass. He radiates good energy and happy sensuality.
Since he lost his job, I have only seen Don a handful of times, when he has sold some photos or other flexible spending money that month. So I was very happy to hear from him and glad I had free time in my schedule to fit him last minute. When I greeted him at the door he had the same big smile on his face that I have always loved seeing, I noticed that he had shaved his head, it becomes him.
In the comfort of my apartment, as he starts getting undressed, I ask him how he is and how he has been doing. He answers “Not so well.” He then proceeds to tell me that he was diagnosed some months ago with lung cancer and is currently in the recuperation phase of treatment, basically recovering from the last round of chemo before beginning another phase. The lung cancer was fairly progressed before it was caught. He went into some detail on how horrible the treatment is, the illness that accompanies it, the stress it puts on his relationship, the fears that can accompany all of this and of course the financial strain. I express my sympathy and asked if the doctors had an idea what caused this, he responded that even though he had quit smoking over 20 years ago that he was a heavy smoker for 20 years before that. I can’t help but say aloud how much that sucks. I give him a hug and tell him to climb up on the table and see if we can’t help him forget his problems.
He is as I said a long time client and I have always worked nude with him, so I disrobe and start to work. His shoulders and back have always been tense and seem doubly so today. I put my weight behind my kneading and work the knots. I drape his arm over my knee as I work his neck and shoulder, his caresses my calf gently. I work for about 30 minutes just on his back and then move down and work from his feet back up. He often sighs contently and moans when I get to his butt. His sexual appetite seems very good. I work his glutes and then massage the perineum and the external anus. Slowly I introduce my thumb into his ass. He responds most favorably. I do a feather light stroke on his back and legs while massaging his prostate, he massages my cock with his hand. I eventually climb onto the table and lay my naked body on his. My cock is hard. It slides between his bubble shaped cheeks and teases his hole. He arches his back and moans loudly. I slide my cock back and forth over the opening, his anus flexing and trying to grab my cock. My cock is bare since this is not about penetration, however, the tip does slip in for a brief moment when he suddenly bucks up onto my cock. I withdraw quickly and am more careful.
I hop off the table and towel him down followed by a light feathery touch of his entire body from the head down to the toes. I grab a bottle of water and ask him to turn over and give him the water to refresh himself before we continue.
I work on his chest, standing above his head, my bare cock rubbing on his shaved head. Each moment my hands touch his nipples he gasps and spasms. My cocks slides up along the side of his head and he nuzzles it.
I move to his left side and work his big round belly, my hands moving in circles, sliding down into the pubic region, his cock is hard and dripping. I give his cock and quick stoke and tease his balls briefly before moving to his right side and repeating the movements. He once again takes hold of my cock and strokes it lightly, using his finger tips. Having been a long time client, he knows that this is about him and not me, but his need to give pleasure will be recognized. I tease his ass and balls again, avoiding the shaft, he is very excited and I don’t want him to come to quickly. I play with his nipples and he again gasps and spasms. I tickle his balls, causing his cock to throb. I slip a finger into his ass and stroke his prostate, his hips undulating. His hand is working my cock harder, I am focusing my attention on him, if I don’t, I might cum. I lick one of his nipples, then the other, and then a brief little nibble on each one, something that I wouldn’t do with any of my other clients, but Don is an exception, a friend and client who is in need. He writhing and makes a request, one that I often hear and continually deny: he wants to see me cum.
In my mind, I know that I should not, it creates a change in the dynamic, a change in the relationship, a change in the expectations, on the other hand I want to make him feel better, I want to help him forget the past few months. I climb on table between his legs and stroke our cocks together briefly. I know that if I do it too long, he will cum way too soon. I then focus on my dick. With one hand I play with his nipples and the other is on my cock, stroking away. He plays with my balls and is focused on my dick, encouraging me. I erupt in volley of sprays all over his belly and chest. He grabs his own dick and joins me shooting before I have I finished. His belly and chest are covered in the mixture of our cum. I lean down and kiss his cheek and he hugs me, covering my body with our juices as well.
I climb off the table and grab a towel to clean us both off. I continue the massage with stretching, legs, arms and facial/scalp massage. I then used the usual feather touch to remove any remaining bad energy out through the finger tips and toes. I then re-connect the chakras and give the blessing. He tells me afterward that as I was removing the bad energy, he envisioned the cancer cells leaving his body. As he leaves, I wish him the best and hope that I will see him again soon.
These are the cases and the days when I know deep in my soul that what I do is valid and good. I know that most of today’s society would not understand or approve. I know that I will always be judged. I know that I will never become rich off of this work. I know that it can prevent me from certain job possibilities in the future. It is still a good and giving thing that I do and I hope someday, the world will understand.
One of my favorite clients, who has come to see me for several years, came to see me this week. I was happy to hear from him, it had been a few months since I had last seen him. I knew the economy had cost him his job over a year ago and he had not found anything permanent to replace it yet. I still stick by my policy of no discounts even in hard times (you don’t have to tip me) but once discounts start happening, there is no turning back.
Anyway, back to the client. “Don” is a very giving person, one of the nicest guys I have ever met. His former job was fundraising for a non-profit for people with AIDS. He would ride every year in a national AIDS bike ride fundraiser. In addition he volunteers as a director at local community theaters and had been taking artistic photographs for fun. He has a partner whom I have never met, but to whom he is devoted. I know what you are thinking, how devoted is he if he is seeing an erotic masseur, well, extremely. He and his partner have different sex drives and Don would rather pay a little cash to get what he is missing at home than to look for someone else, he loves his partner.
Don is a very sensual man, his nipples are very sensitive and he has a need to give pleasure as well as receive it. I was amazed that one of the first times he saw me that he came without either of us touching his cock simply by him sucking mine and my playing with his nips. Over the years, he would usually see me once a month and most of the time it was always both a delight and hot. He is not what you may consider the hottest looking man. He is mid 50’s, rather large belly, but still very toned legs and arms, rather hairless, average cock and a very round soft ass. He radiates good energy and happy sensuality.
Since he lost his job, I have only seen Don a handful of times, when he has sold some photos or other flexible spending money that month. So I was very happy to hear from him and glad I had free time in my schedule to fit him last minute. When I greeted him at the door he had the same big smile on his face that I have always loved seeing, I noticed that he had shaved his head, it becomes him.
In the comfort of my apartment, as he starts getting undressed, I ask him how he is and how he has been doing. He answers “Not so well.” He then proceeds to tell me that he was diagnosed some months ago with lung cancer and is currently in the recuperation phase of treatment, basically recovering from the last round of chemo before beginning another phase. The lung cancer was fairly progressed before it was caught. He went into some detail on how horrible the treatment is, the illness that accompanies it, the stress it puts on his relationship, the fears that can accompany all of this and of course the financial strain. I express my sympathy and asked if the doctors had an idea what caused this, he responded that even though he had quit smoking over 20 years ago that he was a heavy smoker for 20 years before that. I can’t help but say aloud how much that sucks. I give him a hug and tell him to climb up on the table and see if we can’t help him forget his problems.
He is as I said a long time client and I have always worked nude with him, so I disrobe and start to work. His shoulders and back have always been tense and seem doubly so today. I put my weight behind my kneading and work the knots. I drape his arm over my knee as I work his neck and shoulder, his caresses my calf gently. I work for about 30 minutes just on his back and then move down and work from his feet back up. He often sighs contently and moans when I get to his butt. His sexual appetite seems very good. I work his glutes and then massage the perineum and the external anus. Slowly I introduce my thumb into his ass. He responds most favorably. I do a feather light stroke on his back and legs while massaging his prostate, he massages my cock with his hand. I eventually climb onto the table and lay my naked body on his. My cock is hard. It slides between his bubble shaped cheeks and teases his hole. He arches his back and moans loudly. I slide my cock back and forth over the opening, his anus flexing and trying to grab my cock. My cock is bare since this is not about penetration, however, the tip does slip in for a brief moment when he suddenly bucks up onto my cock. I withdraw quickly and am more careful.
I hop off the table and towel him down followed by a light feathery touch of his entire body from the head down to the toes. I grab a bottle of water and ask him to turn over and give him the water to refresh himself before we continue.
I work on his chest, standing above his head, my bare cock rubbing on his shaved head. Each moment my hands touch his nipples he gasps and spasms. My cocks slides up along the side of his head and he nuzzles it.
I move to his left side and work his big round belly, my hands moving in circles, sliding down into the pubic region, his cock is hard and dripping. I give his cock and quick stoke and tease his balls briefly before moving to his right side and repeating the movements. He once again takes hold of my cock and strokes it lightly, using his finger tips. Having been a long time client, he knows that this is about him and not me, but his need to give pleasure will be recognized. I tease his ass and balls again, avoiding the shaft, he is very excited and I don’t want him to come to quickly. I play with his nipples and he again gasps and spasms. I tickle his balls, causing his cock to throb. I slip a finger into his ass and stroke his prostate, his hips undulating. His hand is working my cock harder, I am focusing my attention on him, if I don’t, I might cum. I lick one of his nipples, then the other, and then a brief little nibble on each one, something that I wouldn’t do with any of my other clients, but Don is an exception, a friend and client who is in need. He writhing and makes a request, one that I often hear and continually deny: he wants to see me cum.
In my mind, I know that I should not, it creates a change in the dynamic, a change in the relationship, a change in the expectations, on the other hand I want to make him feel better, I want to help him forget the past few months. I climb on table between his legs and stroke our cocks together briefly. I know that if I do it too long, he will cum way too soon. I then focus on my dick. With one hand I play with his nipples and the other is on my cock, stroking away. He plays with my balls and is focused on my dick, encouraging me. I erupt in volley of sprays all over his belly and chest. He grabs his own dick and joins me shooting before I have I finished. His belly and chest are covered in the mixture of our cum. I lean down and kiss his cheek and he hugs me, covering my body with our juices as well.
I climb off the table and grab a towel to clean us both off. I continue the massage with stretching, legs, arms and facial/scalp massage. I then used the usual feather touch to remove any remaining bad energy out through the finger tips and toes. I then re-connect the chakras and give the blessing. He tells me afterward that as I was removing the bad energy, he envisioned the cancer cells leaving his body. As he leaves, I wish him the best and hope that I will see him again soon.
These are the cases and the days when I know deep in my soul that what I do is valid and good. I know that most of today’s society would not understand or approve. I know that I will always be judged. I know that I will never become rich off of this work. I know that it can prevent me from certain job possibilities in the future. It is still a good and giving thing that I do and I hope someday, the world will understand.
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