Fall out

OK, so I post a piece written by a fellow bodyworker at his request and we both get the fall out.

The post is entitled Responsibility. Basically it says that each person is responsible for their own health and safety when having sexual relations of any kind at any time, including if your massage get sensual. Going to a professional bodyworker or masseur is no guarantee of safe sexual relation. Remember, that what ever you do with your bodyworker or masseur, he is probably doing with others.

I was deluged with emails from strangers and clients a like. There were a great many that thanked me for the posting. Then there were the rest… I was accused of having AIDS, Purposefully putting men at risk, murder and at least three regular clients have cancelled appointments and refuse to see me again in the future.

I asked the original author if he was having the same difficulties and he also has had a couple of clients cancel, but no name calling or the like.

I guess we can forget sometimes the attachment that our clients can form with us. We treat them with courtesy and respect; we pay attention to their wants and their needs for an hour or 90 mins. This is often far more than they get in their daily lives with their spouses or significant others. We treat them special and then we are surprised when they feel that they are special. We are often unaware how great the attachment is until something happens to the bond, like finding out we treat most of our clients the same way, and they feel hurt.

One client thought long and hard about the post and realized that everything also applied to him and his wife. She supposes that she is the only one that he is intimate with and has no idea (at least he believes she doesn’t) that he also has intimate relations with men. It made him feel a bit guilty, but he still came back for the sensual massage. Another client sited this same reason for not coming back, realizing that he was not being fare to his significant other.

What about me? How do I feel? Where is my mind at?

I love my partner. Since we have met, I have not loved another. I can get turned on in the moment by a sexy ass or a couple of words of flattery, but no attachments. There are a few clients that I am friendly with, I know about their family lives, their jobs and their vacations. A few that have opened up to me about emotional problems and I have listened patiently (off the clock) and offered what comfort and advice that I could. But stronger feelings? No. If I did not have a partner that I loved, maybe things would be different, but I doubt it. It is one of the reasons I do this for money. If I were giving away massages I might want something else in return. I have chosen what I want in return. The balance in my universe is OK. I can give my all in a massage for what I have asked, and expect nothing else in return. In return they can receive pleasure, peace, respect, and if they choose to believe, love and pay only the asking price, nothing more is expected of them.