This past week, I had a regular client see me. He is in his mid 40's, tall, well built, dark hair, beard and married to a woman. We have experimented with prostate massage before, at first it was just one finger and he was really nervous. Another visit we tried again and he took 2 fingers. This week he was able to take three fingers and he had two in his ass when he came.
Now to clarify, this man identifies as straight. However, he started playing with my cock during his second visit and was sucking it by his fourth visit. That in my book is all fine, if you want to identify as straight while playing with and sucking cock, who am I to judge? At one time or another, I have had sex with just about every gender variation out there, but I still consider myself gay.
So the moment where I was taken aback was when the massage was over I told my client (we will call him Don) that he took three fingers up his ass. His response was "Man, don't tell me that!"
I was speechless for a moment, then I asked him why. "Just don't say that, I'm not ready to hear that." OK. I tell him that it's no big deal, just means that he is relaxed. Then I asked him if he likes prostate massage and fingers in his ass. "Not sure yet." OK. I inform him as I always do, that we never have to do it again and if I am ever doing something he doesn't like, he must tell me to stop. Don replied that yes he knows and it was fine.
Now I have seen his reaction when he is getting a prostate massage and when he had three fingers going in and out of his ass... he enjoyed it. The issue I believe is one that I have heard from other straight clients is that anal sex is crossing a line from straight to gay. It is the taboo moment that changes who they are.
On the flip side, it is also one of the most common requests that I get, "can you teach me how to bottom?" Usually from long time clients but also from brand new clients both gay and straight. It is something that they have been interested in but don't want to admit to a sexual partner that they have never done it before. A smart choice as far as I am concerned, we need more education in sex. We also need tops to are willing to learn to be a good top. Communicate what you like and don't like, even in the moment.
But back to the beginning... I get that there can a psychological hang up over receiving anal sex. It just surprises me is all. If you are willing to have a cock thrusting in and out of your mouth, having three fingers shoved up your ass, why is it such a big leap mentally to actually have a cock ass up your ass? Or is it the IDEA of WANTING a cock up your ass the hang up? Is that what would actually make them have to redefine their personal label of who and what they are?
In my personal world, blow jobs and hand jobs and even Princeton rubs are far more the norm of gay sex than anal sex. It is not at all the first thing that comes to mind when talking about gay sex. To me, being gay is about who you want to spend your life with, not what orifice you have sex with. Feedback?
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