Trapped and needing alone time...

 Business is still about 50% of what it should be. I am afraid it will get worse again before it gets better. 

However, I am grateful that I still have money coming in. Not everyone does right now. I am also an actor, of course that money has completely dried up. Still, not doing too bad. 

One of the more interesting aspects of this fall has been both my hubby and I are working from home. Usually not an issue, he can work on the patio while I do massage. If the weather isn't ideal he can work in his office as long as he remains quiet. But then there are Zoom meetings... Suddenly each day is "I have a client at X time" "Well, I have a Zoom at Y time but should be done by then." Add in last minute schedules of clients and emergency zooms and it can get complicated. This is not how we expected it to be. We thought by the time I could do massage again, he would be at work full time in his office... oh well. On the plus side, I have been getting new clients who are becoming regulars.

I am not sure how other office people are behaving now that they are working from home, but for my husband, he has made the entire house his office. Not that he making a mess everywhere, quite the contrary, he is often just randomly cleaning or tidying. But he does pace through the house when on the phone or when trying to work out an idea. It can be quite disconcerting. On one occasion while he was in his room because I had a client he burst opened the door and started walking into the room, realized his mistake and spun around and got out. He was very apologetic afterwards. Fortunately the client was face down and while he knew what had happened his only response was "your hubby can watch, I don't care. Might be fun!"

It's some of the other private moments that I miss as well. I orgasm everyday, with or without my husband. I love watching or reading (still my favorite) porn for hours while playing with myself until I shoot everywhere. Even though I an absolute top, I like sitting with the Hitachi wand pressing against ass until I start slipping out of reality. While I will occasionally do some of these things with my hubby, I really prefer to do these things alone. However, he is just always here now. And even though he spends most of his time in his office, I never know when he will pop out to either pace around the house or come tell me something he just discovered. Hell, I even jacked off in the shed in the back yard last week, which had it's own slight eroticism to it, but not something I want to make a regular thing. 

Again, in the grand scheme of things, it's not terrible. Sometimes I will just stay up for an extra hour or so after he goes to bed to take care of my personal needs. Not my favorite time of day to do it, but we adjust. I know he is in the same boat, however, he does have his office and he knows I will not disturb him if the door is closed. I have no such space, except supposedly when I give a massage. 

His life has been difficult since the pandemic. He works in education and trying to manage all the teachers, children, parents, advocates, social workers, state and country representatives involved in the day to day education system of our youth in the best of times is near impossible. Trying to manage them through Zoom meetings, on-line class rooms, group texts and conference calls is so much worse. He will quit by the end of the school year. He says this situation has verified that those above him do not have his back. When he leaves, we will take a trip if we are allowed and I will be the bread winner until he lines up something new. Not a big deal, tighten our belts and move on. 

If things get worse with the pandemic (as I expect they will) and we are forced into a complete lockdown again, I have warned him that I will be ripping up the carpets in the house. We bought our house 4 years ago and it has wall to wall beige carpet in all the rooms. There are supposed to be dark stained hardwood floors underneath, though god only knows what shape they are in. The only way to find out is to rip it all up. Something I have been putting off since it would be a major disruption to my business. However, if I am forced to suspend work, up they will come. He is dead set against the idea because he hates having the house in complete disarray. Even the idea of hiring a company come in to replace the current carpet seems to be too much for him to handle. I get it, he wants some control of something in his life. I will do it anyway because if I have nothing to do, I will go mad. If the floors are in decent shape, great! I will buy some area rugs and be done. If they need to be refinished, hopefully I will be able to get that done. If they are completely beyond saving, then new carpet it is! But definitely not beige.