Alone and thinking

Alas, the economy did not instantly resolve itself with the election results. I was kind of hoping it would. I was ill most of last week, just a cold, but the kind of blowing my nose every 90 seconds type cold, so I was unable to take any clients. You simply cannot be dripping snot while leaning over a client.
Business has been slow this week as well. A lot of calls asking for particulars but not a lot of bites and even a couple of cancellations from regular clients. This has left me with time on my hands. Yesterday I did the laundry including curtains, rugs and blankets and made a big batch of chicken soup from scratch (including making home broth first). Today I was catching up on papers I have been meaning to read, some taped shows I hadn’t watched and some general cleaning.
I noticed that the yard crew for my apartment building were blowing the fallen leaves around and since my apartment is on the end I get a 180 degree view of the outside world. Now I hate to talk ill of someone in a forum where they cannot defend themselves, but the yard crew is pretty awful. In the summer as they mow the lawn, they will mow around fallen branches instead of picking them up, any steep incline in the lawn they will only cut once a month and they blow the clippings off the sidewalks visible from the rental office and leave the rest. Today they are blowing the fallen leaves visible from the rental office and what is worse, they are blowing them across the parking lot to the neighboring property where someone else will have to deal with them. Since they are not actually picking up and disposing of any of the leaves, the next good storm we have will blow them all around again. This is why when I shovel the snow in the winter, I end up shoveling leaves as well. Yes, that is right, I shovel the snow here at my apartment. I don’t get paid but when I wait for the "crew" it takes days for them to get to it and then they only do a path on shovel wide, looks like a five year old did it. I just go out when it is still fresh and clear the sidewalks that I and my neighbors use in an hour. Many of my neighbors are elderly and will not leave until the sidewalks are cleared.
Well anyway, this has little to do with Bodywork except that it made me think of the guys who tell me that they see me for the "Extras" because they have problems at home. Some have not had sex with their significant other in years or only have really dull sex once a month or so. They blame this on their partners (male or female) lack of desire or inadequacy at sex. OK, so there may be an issue, but have you tried to deal with it? Tried to talk about it rationally? Have you sought counseling? Worked on it together? Or was it just pushed aside and ignored so that you can go looking like you have a good life but sneaking off to get your jollies elsewhere? It sounds like I am judging and perhaps I am to a certain extent, but I would really like to see people happy in their primary relationships. I am not saying that your relationship has to fit the "Christian American" model, but a relationship based on trust and openness is very important. A good relationship with a good sex life takes a certain amount of work. You shouldn’t be lazy or take your relationships for granted.
There are times when everyone goes through a rough patch or a dry spell in any relationship. My partner and I have had to deal with it and sometimes it was difficult. We sought counseling once that did help. Most importantly, we have each looked at our sex lives with a new perspective. We do not panic if a week or even two goes by with no sex, but then a concerted effort must be made so that we don’t loose that connection. Sometimes that means just talking about it, other times that may mean setting up a date night, or a kinky surprise or even a romantic get away, but the important thing is we make an effort.
I believe the service I offer are therapeutic in nature and can help a lot of guys with a lot of things. Hopefully, some will read this and I can help them re-capture what they may have lost in at home. - Jack