Women

There is no doubt in my mind that men are more sexually charged than women, or at least are more willing to do something about it.

I have belonged to a couple of on-line all male massage groups that are primarily dealing with men looking for sensual or erotic massage. I have stated before one of them had a poll where only half the men identified as gay, which got me wondering about straight men and even more importantly women.

We all know that there have been “massage parlors” where men can go to get a rub-down from a woman with a little extra thrown in and they obviously do decent business since there are many around and have been for centuries. So straight men can always go there, even though some have found them second rate and prefer now to go to a gay man for a massage and a little extra.

What about women? I know that many women go to spas to get massages on a regular basis, and I have always assumed that these are very legit massages whether they are from a woman or a man. Do women want or even like a sensual massage? Do they have different needs? Or are they just a lot more conservative than men and see a sensual massage from a stranger as dirty and wrong?

I started an on-line group for men and women that is modeled after a very successful one for men. The description for the group was as follows, stolen almost entirely from the men’s group:

This group is ONLY FOR ADULTS (18 years old and up). We welcome any and all who enjoy receiving, giving, and/or learning massage and other types of bodywork. Human touch benefits everyone in body, mind, and soul and is essential for a healthy happy mental, emotional and spiritual life. In our society touching is generally taboo and tragically the reason most Americans are extremely touch-deprived. How many times a day do you get a hug or get a gentle caress on your back? Whether you're interested in strictly massage or something more sensual; if you are a professional; or if you're inexperienced and just want to learn massage; this club is a good place to connect with other like-minded people.
PLEASE NOTE: That there are plenty of groups for people looking for sexual connections. This group is not one of them. While it's understood that so often the sensual intimacy of massage can lead to a more erotic experience for consenting adults; this group's focus is on massage. And while it's encouraged that you ask for particular stats of who you would prefer to work with and/or give your stats, please do NOT post references to sexual acts or genitals. All messages are screened to keep out flamers, spammers, sexually graphic descriptions and off-topic subjects.

The idea was to make it sound both open to sensual touch but also as safe as possible. I then advertised the group on craigslist.org in the therapeutic section; after all, you can find anything on craigslist.org. In no time at all I had 100 people sign up. I insisted that they have their sex listed in their profile so I would know who was signing up. Of the first 100 people, only three were women. Based on the postings thus far, those three women could be very busy for a very long time if they so choose.

There are people, both men and women, who offer these services for women, I see the ads every so often. Some think quite highly of themselves and charge an arm and a leg, many of these I noticed also will do the same for men. Then there are others who I see advertise that are willing to provide sensual massage for women for free or as little as $10 an hour, apparently they realize how small the market really is.

One of my female friends that I chatted about this with said that all women love sensual massage, and every straight male should learn how to give a woman proper sensual massage. As far as paying for a sensual massage, she said she would rather give her money to someone who knows how to give a really good massage than to pay for a sensual one and take a chance that it may not be as good. Now, if she had a really good recommendation of a sensual massage guy who charged a decent rate, she would go immediately. So, is it about value shopping?

One of my lesbian friends told me that she and her friends exchange sensual massages all the time, they have free form massage parties whenever they all get together, some of the girls are straight some are not at all, it doesn’t matter, they all just have fun. I have no idea if she was kidding or not. Knowing her as I do, it would not surprise me if it was all true.

Apparently skill level is a big thing for women. When asking around the biggest comment that I heard was that many men just don’t know how to give a woman a good massage. In the same way that straight men will go to a gay man for a sensual massage because they know how to touch a man, women want to go to someone who knows how to touch a woman. It doesn’t necessarily need to be a lesbian or even another woman, but someone who has been taught by various women how to truly touch a woman.

All of this still doesn’t seem to answer the question, do many women look for sensual massage? If not, why not? Are they just certain that it doesn’t exist? That it would never live up to their expectations? Is it that they don’t find it acceptable to do? If there are any women who read this, which I would not be surprised if they are not, but if they do, I would love to hear more about why more women don’t look for this type of work.

- Jack