Love the blog. I'm straight married guy who loves to receive massage. I have had several massage therapists who let me go nude, but I had to quit seeing 2 of them because I wanted to ask for more and knew they wouldn't.
How can I tell whether to ask for that special 90 seconds? I'm kind of a shy-nice guy type who is usually pretty good at signals but I don't want to get thrown out either. I know there probably isn't any answer to my question. I really want to find a therapist who is legit (like you), but has clients who they can trust (me).
I'm kinda wishing you were in my state--even though I'm straight.
- Steven
Thanks Steven for reading and for the question.
A therapist's biggest fear is that you are cop, trying to trap them. You have to let them know that this is not the case. There are several signs that I look for. You have already answered one, if an option, no draping. This is a sign they may want more. Verbalize your appreciation, light oohs and ahs and low moans are good signs. Erections are helpful to let me know. Keeping your legs spread as much as possible. Physical contact is the other. If they are close to the table, let your hand touch their leg and leave it there (don't
grab, that's rude). Some guys will say to me "if you want to get more comfortable, feel free" as a way of asking if I will work nude. Lightly humping the table while laying on your front is a big hint, try to do this as subtly as possible.
Most therapists I know who do both, very rarely do erotic work on a first appointment, cops don't bother coming back if there was no hanky panky the first time.
Tip well, from the first visit, therapists are much more likely to bend the rules for clients they like and who treat them well.
Start a conversation about erotic massage... "I suppose you get a lot of guys asking for a happy ending? Does that bother you?" Don't say this on your first appointment, sounds like a set up. Have a conversation after the first appointment. Perhaps by email, or phone. Thank the masseur for your first massage, how much you enjoyed it, how much you look forward to returning. Compliment him on his touch, how it made you feel. How you wish you had skills like his so you could make him feel as good he made you feel. Compliment the surroundings, the music, the scents (a good therapist puts a lot of thought and time into all of these and loves it when it gets noticed). Compliment his strength and physique. These are all ways to get on his good side, and lets him know you may be interested in more.
Let me know if this helps - Jack
PS: I wrote the following in one of my posts:
So how do you find out if your therapist does a little extra? First off, realize that unless they advertise in an erotic section of advertising, they probably won’t say much over the phone or on email, remember, doing erotic or even sensual massage is illegal almost everywhere. Not only is there the police to worry about, but the local massage licensing board can revoke one’s license and levy some very heavy fines. So, starting with ad, there are some key words used in the trade, such as draping optional (where allowed by law), anytime a therapist only works on one gender, the word “release”, in some places in the country “full body”, in others it may be “completely satisfied”, if the ad gives the stats of the provider or uses terms to define their looks such as handsome, sexy, or fit. You get the idea. These are terms used to excite the customer into believing that this massage provides a little extra. They do not guarantee something extra. I know many workers who will only do sensual or erotic work on clients they find attractive but still use these terms to boost their client list, however, they are still a good indication that an erotic or sensual massage is at least a possibility. An ad that show a half naked photo of the therapist is also a good indication, but again, not fool proof.
The price is also an indication, though not always. Typically, if a therapist is charging 20% above the average going rate, they probably offer something extra, especially if they work out of their home. Spas are usually above average market price but almost never offer any extras. The most expensive are the rub and tug people who do not really massage but just use it as a front for prostitution clients.
Recommendations are always good way to go. Ask around anonymously on the web; be specific about what you want. Get more than one response. The problem with the web is that it is a great place for petty people to take out their aggressions. Say for example they wanted an erotic massage from someone and did not get it, when they see someone asking for an erotic massage, they may use it as an opportunity to send a pervert to them, sad but true.
When you talk to them on the phone, do they emphasize non-sexual? Do they talk on about medical terms and fancy techniques? These are probably truly non sexual.
Some styles that would indicate something more would be Tantric or Body Electric or in some cases Esalon. If prostate massage is offered or full body scrubs, these could also be signs that extra are being done.
Ask if draping is optional, if it is, the odds that it is a sensual or erotic massage go up.
If you are on the table, be somewhat vocal when touched in a way that you like and when you are touched where you like. If the masseur is close enough to the table that your hand is touching their leg, don't
grab of poke or dig but ever so gently stroke lightly with a finger. Spreading your legs as far apart as possible is a good sign as well as arching the back slightly. Keep it all coming from a place of
relaxation and enjoyment.
Personally, I believe the best approach is not to worry about it. Assume that the massage is not going to be sensual or erotic and just be pleasantly surprised if it is.
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